It’s a fact that when you have children, be it one child, five children or a baker’s dozen, there will be times when you are exhausted as a mother. It’s a pretty normal experience, no matter what female cultural enforcers of Quiverfull say. Staying home and raising your children isn’t any easier than going to work and leaving your children in school, or with a relative or sitter. It’s not easy and there are just those moments that are hard.
What do you do in those moments when you’re exhausted and need help? Some people nap when the children nap, a sensible solution, or throw in enough coffee to power through the day. There are a host of helps and solutions. It varies from person to person, situation and stage of life.
So what does Tim Bayly’s buddy Sandy Armstrong advise on Bayly’s blog “Out of Our Minds”? Submission to your husband, supreme submission and calling your husband ‘Lord’. Always putting your children in second place.
I am surprised by this because it’s been my understand through the years at my old church and reading through piles of advice from female cultural enforcers that it’s God first, husband second and the children third. While the author mentions ‘God first’ it feels like an empty platitude, not what she really believes. That strikes me as wrong too because your husband is an adult, fully capable of taking care of himself when you are busy caring for the children.
Newsflash, lady! Husbands are parents too and asking your husband to help out with the parenting is not treating him like ‘support staff’. It’s called “parenting”, it’s called being a responsible father. It has nothing to do with submission or respect, it’s a basic simple human thing, part of being a decent, rational, fully-functioning member of society.
‘Support Staff’ usually works behind the scenes with an expectation to be paid for their work. Volunteers can be support staff too.
I’m surprised her answer to the support staff question isn’t the same as Michelle Duggar’s – just draft the oldest daughter to raise the kids while you do whatever it is you do. Jana Duggar is support staff. Jim Bob isn’t a fully functioning father merely by the fact that he does very little of the hands on parenting in his household.
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