Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife is making a lot of noise again about a variety of things trying to go viral. Here’s she’s talking on the subject of living together before marriage and trotting out her 1950s reasons why she thinks it is wrong. She didn’t actually utter *hee* the titled words, but she came oh so close. Why buy the cow when the milk is free and you can squeeze the udders? Oh man.
Lori does make one good point, I’ll grant her that. It is important to decide before you live together on issues such has who gets what and other problems with detangling the relationship. Judge Judy, of all folks, has written a great book on coming up with those boundaries and what legal decisions you need to make right up front. It is titled “What Would Judy Say? A Grownup Guide to Living Together With Benefits.” It is important to address those issues because the law may not recognize your live in sig-o in a medical emergency, or if someone dies. The laws are not set up to protect anyone when there is no legal document like a marriage license.
As an aside, this book’s negative reviews were from Evangelical Christians losing it over the idea that anyone might think living together might be a good thing. Dear Evangelicals, you’ve lost that battle. You cannot restable that horse! This is every couple’s decision to make on their own, not from fear and religion, but from what they believe. It does not mattter what Lori, Judy, or I think, it’s up to the couple. It is not Lori’s business if someone decides to live together.
A lot of what Lori is alleging about living together before marriage can be completely debunked by legitimate studies – like this one that mentions age and maturity are bigger factors in success.
Lori also assumes that there was little to no cohabitation between the sexes until recently. I don’t believe that’s the truth, I think people were just much more secretive about it in the past. Anyone know the statistics on this?
Women are not livestock. Their value is not inherent in keeping their virginity OEM status wrapped in plastic. Telling young women that the cure for their desire to live with someone is to take another female roommate is laughable at best.
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