Baptist Taliban: Part 4

by Cindy FosterPARTY TIMEIt was the end of the 1900’s. There was much uncertainty in the air everywhere, about what the next millennium would bring. Would our computer-dependent world come to a screeching halt? Would there be a shortage of food, water and electricity? Should we be stockpiling goods in preparation?If the ‘air’ everywhere else was unsettling, it was much more so in the church. If tension was butter, you could cut it with a knife. The young people were troubled, parents were hyper-alert, Paul and I felt like we were walking a perpetual tight-rope and The Preacher was venting rage through every sermon at our expense. With that kind of a pressure-cooker clima … [Read more...]

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Hot Pink A & ‘Good’ Christian Disapproval – SASBN

hotpinkA

by CaluluI've been putting off doing my introductory piece for No Longer Quivering's Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network because I was stuck in writers block land. That fun place were you can't put a finger to the keyboard and come up with any that makes any sense at all on certain subjects.  Besides, my blog is more boring day to day with a dash of gluten free recipes posted and the odd commentary on something from my old church life. I'm not intellectually dissecting harmful spiritual beliefs. I leave that to those more intelligent and less ADD than myself. So I never felt like I could contribute as much as the others to the SASBN.I do talk frequently about my friend Josie's … [Read more...]

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Pornography and the Fundy

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by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

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Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

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Submission and Prison Cells: Part 2

by Melissa Permission to Live Click here for Part OneLet me start by saying a sincere “I am sorry” to “Yellowbunnys” (whoever she was, and wherever she is now) and to all the other women I shamed that day. I was wrong. I was arrogant. I was hurtful.It is painful for me to even read what I believed then, much less how I judged others and tried to force them to believe it too.At the time I wrote that, I was barely getting past Post-Partum Depression with my first baby, and was about to be hit with a second wave of it after the birth of my second. I struggled to fulfill my self-imposed idea of perfection, but believed that any and all of the seeming problems with the submissi … [Read more...]

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Baptist Taliban Part 2

by Cindy Foster FAMILY AS NEIGHBORSAt first we lived in duplexes right next door to each other.  Then, both families jointly purchased five acres, divided them equally and each built a house on their two and a half acres.As more children came, naturally there would be conflicts between theirs and ours which produced conflicts between us, their parents.  This was particularly difficult for me because whenever arguments erupted between them (for instance) over toys or other belongings as to what belonged to whom, my sister-in-law would automatically assume the role as head arbitrator.  She was ‘The Pastor’s Wife‘ which gave her a kind of ‘authority’ to be the decision-mak … [Read more...]

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Raised Quiverfull: Questioning Q. 3

by Libby Anne (and friends)Cross posted from  Love, Joy, Feminism.Raised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryPlease be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.What did you struggle with most when you were in the midst of questioning and/or leaving Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology? What was the hardest part?Joe:Hell.  I struggled with that for all of five minutes.  Then, it didn’t matter anymore.  There was no proof of anythin … [Read more...]

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Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

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By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]

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Submission and Prison Cells: Part 1

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by Melissa Permission To LiveAlmost five years ago, I was a devout conservative Christian. I had been married over two years, had a toddler Ms Action running around and a baby Ms Drama due in a few months. I loved my spouse beyond what I had ever thought love was when we first got married, and I still dutifully tried to keep the house immaculate and dinner on the table by the time he walked in the door. I read lots of books on marriage and childrearing, and I gave some of them away too. I remember in particular giving away copies of “To Train up a Child” and “Be Fruitful and Multiply”. I did my best to live up to the ideas I found in the Bible, the Christian books and magazines I read, an … [Read more...]

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Raised Quiverfull: Questioning, Q. 2

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryPlease be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.  What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience?Joe:I can’t put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and fundamentalist C … [Read more...]

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