Brave New Life: Introduction

apples

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission To Live Once upon a time there were two girls. One was very sad most of the time, she kept her head down and did what she was told, because she could not imagine ever being strong enough to do anything different. She hardly knew what it meant to dream, to have goals and ambitions, because her life was already mapped out for her by others, she just had to follow the rules and be the person she was supposed to be. … [Read more...]

Gender Transition: Two Years Later

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by Melissa from her blog Permission to Live A guest post written by my wife Haley Last week marked the two year anniversary of when I started hormone replacement therapy for transitioning my physical body to female. My transition didn’t start with hormones, due to challenges and an involved process to get access to hormones, many other transition milestones had already happened before that day.  I was already full time and out to the world as transgender in March 2012. I had changed my name legally the previous October. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Reexamining Traditional Gender Roles Emasculates Men?

freetobe

from Ladies Against Feminism - "Free To Be... You and Me" Emasculated Men Nineteen seventy-four was a grim year in the history of the Republic. An embargo had quadrupled the price of oil and touched off an energy crisis so severe that the state of Oregon banned Christmas lights as wasting energy. The president of the United States seemed to have taken part in a criminal conspiracy that would soon lead to his resignation. … [Read more...]

You Are You (And that’s Beautiful)

haley

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission To Live We had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan. The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he put out his hand and said brightly “So nice to meet you! My name is..” and then stuttered and seemed to glance down at the nametag attached to his shirt, finishing quietly “… John.”  We got our phones, and left the shop, but both … [Read more...]

Sunday Challenge – How Has Your Self Body Image Changed?

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Introducing the NLQ Sunday Challenge! What it's all about is you, you writing in and sharing your take on the topic picked for the week, sharing your hard earned wisdom with others. Just write up as little or as much as you feel like saying on that subject, email it to … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 9: Starting a New Life

by Permission to Live This post is the final post in a series. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. It’s the spring of 2012 now, and we’ve moved to a new home in a new city and are making new friends and starting over. We’ve officially left the ministry and are making new career plans. My spouse has begun transition and she has been able to go by her new name and female pronouns publicly now after using them at home for months. Only now there is no second guessing over what she can wear when we go out. There is no tripping over which name to use. It’s only been a few months, but she has said “I’m so happy!” with enough frequency that it has actually … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 8: Coming Out, Bit by Bit

onion

by Permission to Live  This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. It was getting harder and harder for my spouse to put on a masculine facade when we went out. At home, after all, he was able to just be himself. It was also starting to feel awkward referring to him as a “he.” The pronouns just didn’t fit anymore. Other people started to notice too. When we went down to visit family over the summer we had several different family members ask if my spouse was gay. Apparently being a feminine male-presenting person attracts attention. The summer of 2011 was significant in another way too. I had arranged to meet up with … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 7: Charting a New Course

by Permission to Live This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. It had been a year since my spouse had come out to me. It felt like it had been much longer. So much had changed and yet nothing had changed. We still hadn’t decided how Christianity tied in with our changing reality: I was leaning further and further away from the idea of God but my spouse still believed. We felt like there were no real answers anymore. Life was not as black and white as people wanted it to be. My spouse was talking more and more about transitioning and I felt like there was no one-size-fits-all in gender identity. Maybe my spouse would become … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 6: Talk of Transition

This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. Even though we had hoped that it would be enough for my spouse to simply be more authentic to his feminine self, it seemed that the idea of transition was coming up more and more. My spouse talked about how frustrating it was to have this battle raging in his head every single day, his brain telling him again and again that he was really a woman. He told me how the idea of becoming an old man terrified him. It was bad enough being trapped in the body of a young man, but to be old and helpless and cared for by people who would treat him as a guy was dreadful to him. Sometimes he cried, all … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 5: The Beauty of Acceptance

by Permission to Live This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. It was the end of 2010. I was starting to question the existence of God while my spouse was as Christian as ever. Sometimes I did not understand how he could keep believing in a God who had made him this way and then said that he couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t understand how it was god-honoring for a person to live their life “the way god wanted them too” while being miserable and secretly hoping that they would get into an accident somehow that would force the removal of the hormone producing organs that caused them so much mental anguish. The … [Read more...]


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