The Drama of Mother’s Day in High Demand Religion

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission For many reasons, Mother's Day takes on great significance for me this year. I turn fifty later this year, and my high hopes of possibility of having a baby of my own have vaporized with my age. … [Read more...]

David Bowie and Catholic Apologists Covering For Child Molester Priests

by Suzanne TitkemeyerMonday was a rough day in this household, and it wasn't because I was out of pain pills, or stuck changing cat litter boxes. It started first thing in the morning when I logged onto my computer and saw the news that artist David Bowie had died after an 18 month long struggle with cancer. I struggled with sadness the entire day, fighting back tears every time I logged onto Facebook and saw the tributes to this greatly influential artist flooding the internet.While I liked his music I wasn't the biggest Bowie fan. I must preferred the music of Queen and Mott the Hoople during the mid 70s. But David had recorded with both of those bands, even giving Mott the Hoople … [Read more...]

We All Need Help Sometimes

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI'm not going to wait until the last day of the year to share that 2015 has been an "Annus horribilis" for me and my family.My sister died suddenly and unexpectedly, and in the midst of that I was attacked for saying how I sick I was of christians who refused to deal with their own crap. (By a man who seems to have a lifetime of unresolved crap.) … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Younger Sister Marrying First?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Grieving Without God

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha WilliamsI’m fortunate to have a few friends who have stood by me in my exodus from religion, loving me in spite of our differences. I’m also fortunate to have some who happened to find their own way out at about the same time.Some of these dear friends recently lost a close family member. With permission (and names changed because they’re not in a position to be open yet about their unbelief) I’d like to share a couple of emails with you as a lovely example of a family grieving without god. … [Read more...]

Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” = Is My Grief Normal?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

NLQ Book Review: The Hand on the Mirror

by Suzanne TitkemeyerWhen Patheos was asking for people to review 'The Hand on the Mirror: A True Story of Life Beyond Death' by Janis Heaphy Durham I was intrigued by the subject matter. In my years at my old church I'd participated in many a house cleansing and the occasional exorcism. Particularly interested after a few experiences I've had after beloved pets passed and something that happened during my vacation last summer  I became even more interested in the idea of the survival of the mind after death. Plus I've had my experiences through the years with the paranormal that cause me to believe that there is life beyond death. It's the one core belief that keeps me from fully … [Read more...]

Survivors Guilt

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground originally posted June 2013Daily I tremble in memory of friends left behind. As a Daughter of Patriarchy and fundamentalism, I am left to remember all the faces of those who didn’t make it out. I suffer from survivors guilt.  I don’t suffer from the spiritual abuse so much. I can accept that I will always be a foreigner in my own land. But gosh I hurt that so many friends have been left behind.This happened two days ago when I thought about my best friend from childhood (particularly high school), and I remembered that I was not invited to her wedding (she invited everyone else in childhood). It hurts not just that my friend rej … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: What To Say To Someone Suffering

by Nancy Guthrie from John Piper's Desiring God blog - What Not to Ask Someone SufferingEditor's note: Most of the time when I read Desiring God I have to say 'ugh' at the terrible Evangelical Quiverfull ideas it contains. This is different, this is something I think all of us in recovery can learn from. It's a good list of what to say to someone suffering. Guess even places with bad ideas will occasionally stumble over something that isn't so bad after all. … [Read more...]

Sea Legs

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFor the first several weeks after we were tossed out of our church I felt like I still had sea legs.  I had learned over the years to walk somewhat steadily – or at least with a great deal of familiarity – as the wind and waves of spiritual abuse crashed over and around me.  Though I found myself on solid ground, my body, mind, and spirit continued for a time to lurch and sway as though I were still on board that hulking monstrosity of a church from whence my spiritually abusive treatment had pounded unabatedly. … [Read more...]


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