Part 4: I Submit and “Resign”

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by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalIn the weeks following that meeting with the board, there were many communications (mostly via email) which just deepened the wounding. As dramatic as it might sound, I felt like I was fighting for my very life. I begged for someone to listen to me, to hear what had been going on and help me find a way out of my pain. By this time, elder M had given up hope and resigned his membership. I desperately wanted to believe there was a better way to go, that people who claimed to follow Christ should be able to work this out together, that we didn’t have to stay trapped in an endless repetition of history! … [Read more...]

My Recovery Story: So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused. What Next?

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by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Come Weary MomsAn entry to the "So I've Been Spiritually Abused. What Next?" series.Four years ago, our family left a church organization which was and is facing major issues with legalism and abuse. It wasn’t easy to be there at the end.  It wasn’t easy to leave.  It still isn’t easy to navigate what I believe and how I relate to people.  Despite my deep disappointment and disillusionment, I have continued to rebuild my own spiritual life.  I have also looked back on several things that helped me transition out of more than one less-than-ideal-for-me situations.  I’d like to share these with you. … [Read more...]

Stand Up and Speak Your Truth

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI have always had a hard time standing up for myself. I chalk it up to the way I grew up. I grew up in a cult where women and children weren't allowed to speak up for themselves, especially when we were abused. We weren't allowed to ask "Why?" even in a quiet voice. We were to take abuse quietly, submissively, like Godly females would. Otherwise, all hell would break loose. So, my sisters and I grew up with blank, obedient minds. We were trained to obey male authority without question, and we had a healthy fear of the chain of command above us. We were Godly, submissive sheep who obeyed at the blink of an eye. We grew up with no defenses … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: No Divorce Even if Abused?

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by Sam Crabtree at John Piper's Desiring God blog - Until Death Do We Part - For Real Some disapprove, saying that Jesus allows exceptions — that is, he allows divorce in cases of adultery — but a careful reading of Matthew 5:32 shows that adultery does not nullify or overrule what God has joined together. Rather than adultery being a cause for divorce, it is the divorce and remarriage of divorced parties which causes adultery. … [Read more...]

Pensacola Christian College & Me

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by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The DragonsIf you’ve never meandered around xoJane, well, now is your golden opportunity. I’ve been a loyal reader for almost a year now, and it’s a pretty cool place. So, when an xoJane editor reached out to me and asked if I’d be willing to tell a piece of my story for them, you can imagine that my reaction looked a bit like this: … [Read more...]

Part 3: Things Come to a Head

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by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalThings came to a head a couple of months later when the church was invited to participate in an annual prayer event. It seemed like a no-brainer, yet after praying about it, both elder M and I felt unaccountably uneasy. Elder R was overseas at the time (an increasingly regular reality) and was happy to abide by the decision of rest of the team. Elder J, however, was insistent we participate and after several quite painful communications between the three of us, declared his intention of announcing our involvement to the rest of the church that Sunday. I was beside myself by this time! … [Read more...]

Triggers: So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next?

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We're starting a new series called "So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next" with posts about healing, explaining some of the things most people that walk away from spiritual abuse suffer from after leaving as well as information on healing from abuse. We invite anyone that wants to write a post for this series to email Suzanne, NLQ Moderator/Admin at CaluluNLQ(at)gmail(dot)com. … [Read more...]

Then and Now

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixI'm becoming more and more aware that I don't need to "aware" of my beliefs in order for them to affect my life.My beliefs shape the way my life is branching out right at this very moment, even if many of these beliefs were formed many years ago and I don't give them much thought today. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: What is a Cult? Church of Wells Edition

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According to the Wartburg Watch and Ronald Enroth's book "Church That Abuse" the hallmarks of a cult are - 1.   Control-oriented style of leadership2.   Spiritual elitism3.   Manipulation of members … [Read more...]

“Equal But Subordinate” and Soft Complementarinism

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by Kristen Rosser cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's Words My analysis of the "Equal but Subordinate" teaching on women in Christianity seems to be turning into a series.  I didn't intend to do this, but I do believe the implications of this teaching in its various manifestations should be addressed fully.  This, then, is Part 3 (and I hope the conclusion!) … [Read more...]


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