Growing Up as a Christian (Bible Based) “Cult Child” – A Memoir by Vennie Kocsis

by Vennie Kocsis cross posted from Cindy Kunsman's blog Under Much Grace(Editor's note: Vennie's memoir "Cult Child" is a hard read that is at the same time fascinating. I was unable to put down this book last year when I read it.)(Cindy's remarks) When I met Vennie last year, she wore the blue ombre locks shown in the center picture displayed here, and I like the visual progression that these images display.  The Second Generation Adult (SGA) — a now-adult who grow up in a high demand group doesn't have the opportunity and often lacks the skills to choose their own path.  They (we!) are always adapting and growing to make up for the things that even the first generation members who … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Our Big Families Are Better Than Your Small Ones Because?

by Zsuzsanna Anderson from Are They All Yours? - Answering Large Family Objections Part 1 -My, How Neglected and Overworked Your Other Children Are!Editor's note: Happy Thanksgiving! Here's an early serving of turkey, or is it baloney?  Someone is sounding a bit defensive here. For the record, not everyone that does not have large families ships their children off to be raised by others, or ever uses daycare, or whatever fetid family fantasy that Zsu has been taught by her husband. Wasn't it not that long ago that she hinted that she wasn't entirely blissful as the mom of many? … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – When The Ministry Is Exhausting & You’re Getting Discouraged

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Open Thread: Steps You Need to Take to Leave Your Toxic Quiverfull Marriage?

Most everyone here is familiar with the story of Vyckie Garrison and others at NLQ that have had to leave their emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive husbands who are Quiverfull. One of the worst stories we've published on the difficulties on leaving was that of our Tess Willoughby. Here's what the final and third time Tess left looked like: … [Read more...]

Three Years In

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha Williams(Editor's Note: Kaleesha is talking about her journey three years post-fundamentalism. There is hope of having a full life after leaving toxic faith.)Yesterday marks the third anniversary of the day I laid aside the Bible, having found the answers to the last of my questions about the god within its pages. My conclusion after years of study and devotion? The Bible was written by men who inspired by their ideas of things bigger than themselves, men who were grasping at significance in the majesty of space and time.And that’s okay. We’re all doing that, in a way. It’s part of this journey, … [Read more...]

Finding the Strength to Give Yourself Permission to Leave

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog Every Breaking WaveI remember the last two years before I walked away from my old church. Every Saturday night or early Sunday morning I would have a nightmare involving church. They always involved church. It might be something like the pastor calling me out for some imagined sin from the pulpit and he and I fighting in the sanctuary. One time I dreamed that my home was filled with an abundance, a crazy wild abundance of things, like opening the bread box to have three fresh loaves leaping out instead of one, or opening the silverware drawer and finding set after set of silver in the drawer. That dream was terrifying because I was … [Read more...]

There’s Something Terribly Wrong With Our ‘Christian Culture’

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalA few years ago, as a church leader, I experienced bullying and spiritual abuse when one man wanted to 'lord it over' his peers. When the oversight board was called in to help mediate, those men simply took the side of the bully. After experiencing further abuse and an incredible miscarriage of justice, I ended up resigning from leadership and later leaving the institution.Just a few weeks ago, as an office manager, I needed to deal with a situation where one staff member had been trying to 'lord it over' her peer. When the boss was called in to help effect justice, he simply took the side of the bully. After the victim was … [Read more...]

Christians Taught Me I Can’t Trust My Deceitful Heart

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comThe heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 That verse got quoted at me … well, a lot. Looking back, it seems to be one of the most common refrains of my childhood, right along with “foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.” Looking back, I’m unsure how these concepts got tied to things like honor your father and mother and in the multitude of councilors there is wisdom and your word is a lamp unto my feet but somehow, they did. … [Read more...]

Ex-Homeschooler Fashion

by Latebloomer cross posted from her blog Past Tense, Present ProgressiveAs a former fundamentalist homeschooled kid, one of many aspects of life that I've had to do a lot of catch up in is fashion.  I grew up choosing clothing based solely on modesty, which in my circles meant that I was shopping in clothing sections meant for the elderly and basically wearing fabric sacks.  Often, I had to make things for myself when even the grandmotherly clothing options failed me.  Everything I wore was at least 4 sizes too big and several inches too short, and I had no idea about choosing colors that complemented my skin tone, no idea about hair, no idea about makeup, no idea about skin and nail ca … [Read more...]

“pastor” Tim Henderson’s Lie

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous CircumspectionMore than a few years ago, my family decided to begin attending a small church in the tucked-away town of Elkton, South Dakota.  The church was called First Baptist Church of Elkton.  It was headed up by the lying snake of a control freak, Tim Henderson (you'll see why I call him that, in a bit), whom I'll refer to as T Boy.Note: You'll notice the church is now pastored by some other "KJV Only/Brother this, Brother that/Bus Ministry, numbers matter more than people/Women's Ministries because men just don't need it" nut job. … [Read more...]


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