Christians Taught Me I Can’t Trust My Deceitful Heart

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comThe heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 That verse got quoted at me … well, a lot. Looking back, it seems to be one of the most common refrains of my childhood, right along with “foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.” Looking back, I’m unsure how these concepts got tied to things like honor your father and mother and in the multitude of councilors there is wisdom and your word is a lamp unto my feet but somehow, they did. … [Read more...]

Ex-Homeschooler Fashion

by Latebloomer cross posted from her blog Past Tense, Present ProgressiveAs a former fundamentalist homeschooled kid, one of many aspects of life that I've had to do a lot of catch up in is fashion.  I grew up choosing clothing based solely on modesty, which in my circles meant that I was shopping in clothing sections meant for the elderly and basically wearing fabric sacks.  Often, I had to make things for myself when even the grandmotherly clothing options failed me.  Everything I wore was at least 4 sizes too big and several inches too short, and I had no idea about choosing colors that complemented my skin tone, no idea about hair, no idea about makeup, no idea about skin and nail ca … [Read more...]

“pastor” Tim Henderson’s Lie

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous CircumspectionMore than a few years ago, my family decided to begin attending a small church in the tucked-away town of Elkton, South Dakota.  The church was called First Baptist Church of Elkton.  It was headed up by the lying snake of a control freak, Tim Henderson (you'll see why I call him that, in a bit), whom I'll refer to as T Boy.Note: You'll notice the church is now pastored by some other "KJV Only/Brother this, Brother that/Bus Ministry, numbers matter more than people/Women's Ministries because men just don't need it" nut job. … [Read more...]

Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” – Can Wanting To Please Your Husband Become Unhealthy?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: Why Talking About Money Before and During Marriage Is Important

by Tim Fall from his blog Tim's Blog Just One Train Wreck After Another - Marriage, Money, and Making Decisions - how it looks in a marriage of equalsEditor's note: We've had so many weeks and months of bad Christian marriage advice from the Pearls and other ministries I felt like it was time to share better advice. I know I've found in my own life that money discussions must happen and when they don't things really get messy. This is especially important if you are struggling to leave Quiverfull theology and either transform your marriage into that of equals, or you are a former Quiverfull mother struggling to figure out how to pay your bills or deal with a spouse that doesn't believe … [Read more...]

What To Do About Toxic Power In Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDear friends,What can a woman do if she realizes that she is in a controlling, manipulative, intimidating, verbally aggressive, and/or physically violent marriage?Two months ago I wrote a post called Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage which gave an analysis of the problem. I based it on concepts found in The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. At the end, I promised a follow up post with suggestions on what she can do. … [Read more...]

Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” – How Good Is Good Enough For A Potential Man?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Created To Be His Help Meet – Part 2 – The Power of Stinking Thinking

by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids CollidePart Two of the un-named epic failure - in Debi's eyes - of a woman who dared obey her husband without enough joy in her heart.Her husband is the one who lacked spiritual clarity but wanted to go to Bible College in a different country while wrecking their finances and refusing to have children for at least 5 years.  (Anyone else wonder what Vaughn Ohlman would think of this marriage?)Anyway, she continues wringing her hands... … [Read more...]

Answering “Preparing To Be A Help Meet” = Is My Grief Normal?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

NLQ Question of the Week: Why Do People That Say They Aren’t ‘People Pleasers’ Do The Opposite in Church?

This is a new series we have started running on Thursdays. Examining some of the questions involving long held Quiverfull theology and life.Tim Falls of Tim's Blog - Just One Train Wreck After Another had a short post on the subject of people pleasing - People Pleasing Doesn't Please Me that had me thinking about the issue of people pleasing and many fundamentalist churches. How they frequently quote this scripture: … [Read more...]


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