I’m Not Asking For Perfection

livingliminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI've had many conversations over the last 2 or 3 years that revolved around my experience of abuse in the church and my subsequent disillusionment with that institution.There have been people who disapproved of me being upset and who therefore assumed that somehow I was the one at fault. Others were distressed that I would even suggest that there was anything wrong in 'their church'. Then there were those who recognised there was something amiss, but didn't want to get involved.But, interestingly enough, there was one line almost every person produced. "You can't expect the church to be perfect - it's made up of imperfect … [Read more...]

So, Are You a Feminist?

Image from Defeating The Dragons - Samantha Field

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons It’s become almost de riguer for red-carpet journalists (and others) to confront a female celebrity and demand to know whether or not she considers herself a feminist. This bothers me. From what I’ve seen, most of the time the publication asking doesn’t have any vested interest in their answer (see, a Time magazine writer asking Shailene this question, and then another turning right around and putting “feminist” on their “words to ban” poll). This leads me to believe that these people aren’t confronting these women because they care about feminism, or want to help overturn some of the misconceptions about feminism– they jus … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Going To A Quiverfull Church While Infertile Why?

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by Jennifer from her blog A Home With A Purpose - When Being At Church Hurts: InfertilityEditor's note: This is truly heartbreaking, being a member of a church that embraces Quiverfull yet unable to have any babies. Being tortured with frustration at the easy fecundity of others in your church isn't being 'sanctified', it is cruel, it would be cruel of any deity to demand you be constantly in the presence of your deepest desires with no way to obtain them. That's not a loving God. … [Read more...]

Fundamentalist Homeschooling Christmas: A Video of What My Mom Gave Me For Christmas

Image from Lana Hope Wide Open Ground

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground We never did much for Christmas as a kid, and in many ways, I’m glad. I’ve never felt that rushing around in mobs to buy gifts for western people who have it all is a particular worthy use of time and resources. I don’t have a problem with gifts, decorations, or good food, but right now, traffic is lethal in my town, enough to awaken me to the realization that my parents were at least partially correct. Instead of writing a post about what Christmas is like in a fundie family, I just made a short one-minute video of what my mom sent me for Christmas this year. It really says it all. Mom lives in her own homeschool world. Instead of se … [Read more...]

Happy Holidays – Open Thread

First time in eight years I've put up a tree and decorated the house.

by Suzanne TitkemeyerSince we are mere days away from Christmas and I'm sure many of us here are in the middle of holiday preparations. Right now my kitchen looks like the Keebler Elves Hollow Tree exploded as I'm baking up Christmas cookies.So my question is: How did your holidays change after you got out of extreme Christian fundamentalism?Bruce Gerencser wrote an excellent post about his holidays through the years on his blog - The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser: Christmas, 1957 - 2014.  … [Read more...]

There Is No Formula For Culture Shock

orchids

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundI recently thought of this post, I wrote on Christmas Eve from my phone while with a few teenagers in Asia. We spent Christmas day floating around a pond in 80F/26C weather in shorts, and in the evening when the temperature had dropped to 68F/20C, I read a book out on a lawn chair while the kids were swimming.Then I thought how brutal the last two years have been. I mean, freakin TERRIBLY DIFFICULT PUCK ME UP, kind of brutal. … [Read more...]

Late Bloomer

anemone

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixThere are a number of life events that I have arrived at quite late in the game. The biggest life event has been marriage. And there are a few milestones in life I have avoided altogether, such as motherhood, even though most females my age have looked forward to and reached this milestone long ago. … [Read more...]

Day 14 of 21 Days of Healing: I’d Rather Be…

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe have peace with God through our Lord Jesus . . . ” Romans 5:1 Think on this calming thought today.Day 14Yesterday, I talked about the “To-Don’t” list and how I took some time to just stop and rest. I took more than a day and I hope that you will, too. I rested until I was tired of resting. And once I was tired of resting, I started thinking about what I’d rather be doing. In other words, what would my day look like if I could do whatever I wanted?Because, for the longest time, I did what I thought other people wanted. Or what people told me God wanted. Whether it was doing or being, I was always focused on fulfilling othe … [Read more...]

Gently Gently During The Holidays

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by Suzanne TitkemeyerI just could not take it any more after looking down and realizing in the bright winter sunlight flooding into my living room that my television remote control looked like it had been dipped in some sort of combination of Cheeto dust, coconut oil and the sands of time then sat out to dry for a decade. Yes, yes it was encrusted and gross. I'd noticed it before, but in the past I'd sighed and mentally made a note to disinfect my hands after using the remote because to give it the scrubbing it needed would surely involve ruining the electronic function of this most sacred of male totems. … [Read more...]

Day 13 of 21 Days of Healing: Making Your “To Don’t” List

pleachedalley

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod loves you. God loves you. God loves you. How is your brain change going?Day 13I’m sure you’ve heard those worn out lines like: Christianity is just a list of “don’t’s.” Don’t drink, smoke, swear, sleep around, lie, etc.At my first abusive church there were a lot of “don’t’s.”At my second abusive church, there were a lot of “do’s.” … [Read more...]


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