Day 12 of 21 Days of Healing: God, Where Are You?

hazelmountainoverlook

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThe Lord is the strength of my life. Do you sense that your thoughts are becoming more positive as you focus on the truth of God’s love and presence in your life? (Brain change.)Day 12When I had my first spiritually abusive experience, I remember being so positive. The pastor at my first abusive church was upset that I was stepping away from assisting with worship/music preparation for a few months. He knew there would be questions about why I was taking a break and he feared that without my help, the music would suffer and he and the associate pastor would not look as good. So, when he spoke against me to the elders, saying th … [Read more...]

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Leaving Before You Are Ready

doorknob

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

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The Smoke and Ash of Melting Memories

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by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace What are your earliest memories like?I remember some events as what seem like still photographs from when I was very young – like the yellow diaper service pail on the front porch with an embossed stork on it, though the pigment in the pattern had faded. I remember my mother sitting beside my white crib, reading different books to me. Though I could not have had a visit with him after I was three years old, I remember my orthopedist. He had jet black hair and wore a smock like doctors wore in black and white movies. I remember really liking him, but I don't remember talking to him or why I saw him. I remember my grand geek fas … [Read more...]

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Gaslighting Heated Up

gaslightingmeme

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYou can read Part 1 here.In my last post, I had just touched my toe to the cess pool of gaslighting and how it had impacted my experience with spiritual abuse. But then a comment on that post prodded me to delve a bit deeper into the practice of gaslighting. It wasn’t long before long-dormant memories were being stirred as I read, listened, and learned more and more about how gaslighters operate and how their behavior impacts their victims. … [Read more...]

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Gaslighting

Lamplighter Lighting Gas Street Light

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

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Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

waterfalls

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

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Open Thread: Raising Your Children?

poisoncake

Last night I encountered this list of how not to raise 'Godly' children on Facebook. It was actually on the wall of someone I know from a very mainstream church where that church does not teach this restrictive list or anything even remotely close to it, but she firmly believes it. She's involved with the local homeschool group in my area, which is run by a woman that should be in jail right now for parenting failures of an extreme magnitude that originated with the type of thinking  this list is opposed to. … [Read more...]

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My Story – A Heart Like Mine Part 2

nora

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like MineI was raised as a “modern” Evangelical Christian. But the more I read the more subtle the distinction I find between how I was raised and Fundamentalist beliefs (such as Quiverfull).I didn't wear long dresses/or skirts like the women and girls of the Duggar family, however I still had fashion specifications I was required to follow. I was still in many ways made to be lady like and modest, even if it was in pants. I rebelled and pushed this boundary as best I could and with dramatic flair. I even won my battles with mini skirts eventually. Probably due to my parents crumbling relationship; there was something else to dist … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Beall Phillips Responds to Excommunication?

itsallaboutme

by Beall Phillips (wife of Vision Forum disgraced head Doug Phillips)  at Facebook on November 17th, 2014A little late posting this but here it is. Beall's response. … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Adoption Links Lead to Book Store Cheer Up?

cheerup

From Nancy Campbell's site Above RubiesRemember some years back when Nancy was pushing adoptions from Africa? She adopted a pile of children, one of her daughters adopted a pile of daughters all the while Nancy was trying to get everyone to go to Africa and adopt. Remember how suddenly all mention of her adopted African children stopped and she said nothing more about adoption? Nothing was known about what had happened until Kathryn Joyce's book on Evangelicals and international adoptions - The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption and a few articles came out telling of the failed Campbell adoptions and her African children sent away. … [Read more...]

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