Not Quoting Quiverfull: Why Talking About Money Before and During Marriage Is Important

Notquoting

by Tim Fall from his blog Tim's Blog Just One Train Wreck After Another - Marriage, Money, and Making Decisions - how it looks in a marriage of equalsEditor's note: We've had so many weeks and months of bad Christian marriage advice from the Pearls and other ministries I felt like it was time to share better advice. I know I've found in my own life that money discussions must happen and when they don't things really get messy. This is especially important if you are struggling to leave Quiverfull theology and either transform your marriage into that of equals, or you are a former Quiverfull mother struggling to figure out how to pay your bills or deal with a spouse that doesn't believe … [Read more...]

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20 Worst Things To Say To Someone Suffering

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by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog Every Breaking WaveAs part of my adminning No Longer Quivering I have to stroll around the blogosphere a couple of times a day to see what's going on. This morning I found this list posted at two different places. This list made me almost retch upon reading it. But I've been told that the list and posting was sarcastic. I hope so because these are some of the worst things I've seen that could be said to a struggling person.The original posting was about how your friends can support you best when you leave your abusive husband. Granted, I've never had to do that, but I have gone through trauma, tragedy and pain, just like everyone else, … [Read more...]

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Why I Changed My Mind About Marriage Equality

Image by Lana Hope

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundAround three years ago I changed my mind about LGBT individuals and their right to marry. I grew up in a family who did not really acknowledge or mention gays. I had no idea gays even existed until a guy in our homeschool group married someone whose mother was lesbian, which prompted me to look up the word in the dictionary. … [Read more...]

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In Which I Am Grateful For My Loss

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by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalThis past week, with social media bristling with the noise and reaction to the American Supreme Court's decision regarding same sex marriage, my strongest emotional response has been one of gratitude for being hounded from the IC (institutional church).That might sound strange... but I can explain.You see, I spent most of my life in the IC and it taught me well. It taught me that there was a right way to think and a wrong way. It taught me that there was an acceptable way to behave and an unacceptable way. Most of … [Read more...]

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What Micah Murray and I Want You (and the Duggars) to Know About JOY (Jesus, Others, You)

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by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from Under Much GraceMy blog post today was birthed by a new article written by a thoughtful young man -- a Second Generation Adult (raised in high demand religion) -- who used to be the equivalent of a Duggar, but sans TV show.  Hopefully sans abject abuse, too.(As I finish this post, The Kelly File featuring the first interview with the Duggars following the tragic news of sexual abuse in their family just beings to air. … [Read more...]

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A Sampling of Prophet/Priest/King Teaching

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by Emily from Christian Patriarchal Watch List For Parents Read in their own words. As you read, you may hear some things that strike you as positive. But ask yourself: Is this what I want for my daughter? Is this a healthy masculinity we want Christianity to be promoting here and around the world? Is this a healthy use of the Bible? … [Read more...]

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Do Not Turn Yourself Inside Out

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by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like Mine"Do not turn yourself inside out trying to explain yourself to people who refuse to see you. You know who you are."I really liked this quote; I always seem to find things like this when I really need them. A wave of sadness had hit me yesterday, in part because I was still trying to recover and process from a nightmare the night before. I had this horrible dream Other Child was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. I was at their bedside forced with having to let them go. I think a dream like that is fairly representative of how I am still sorting through my feelings after making the choice to go no contact. … [Read more...]

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News – Calvary Temple Church Spiritual Warfare

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 Was asked to post this to get the word out about Calvary Chapel in Sterling, Virginia. This isn't too far from where I live and my poisonous old church had a few of the walk aways from Calvary Temple. In this area of Northern Virginia there have been whispers of dangerous wrong doing for many years.  Calvary has been in the Washington D.C. news a lot lately over allegations of abuse, both sexual and physical, not to mention the many years of rumors here in Virginia over the spiritual abuse endemic at Calvary. … [Read more...]

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Survivors Guilt

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by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground originally posted June 2013Daily I tremble in memory of friends left behind. As a Daughter of Patriarchy and fundamentalism, I am left to remember all the faces of those who didn’t make it out. I suffer from survivors guilt.  I don’t suffer from the spiritual abuse so much. I can accept that I will always be a foreigner in my own land. But gosh I hurt that so many friends have been left behind.This happened two days ago when I thought about my best friend from childhood (particularly high school), and I remembered that I was not invited to her wedding (she invited everyone else in childhood). It hurts not just that my friend rej … [Read more...]

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How I Left My Parent’s Home

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by Sarah Henderson cross posted from her blog Feminist in Spite of ThemSeveral people have asked me about actually leaving my parents. It's kind of hard to explain exactly what happened, because there was not one day when I decided to leave.When I was 16, I was still attending a conservative church with my parents. In my family we were still expected to wear head coverings all the time, but the church we attended only expected them in churches. So in December of 2004 (when I was 16) I decided to stop wearing one at all - to me you either follow that verse 100% or not at all, and I wasn't going to be the only one. I also secretly purchased jeans and changed into them on rare occasions … [Read more...]

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