Frozen

Hans telling Anna that he's been using her. CC Screencap from the Disney movie "Frozen"

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHas anyone else seen the parallels between Elsa and their own experience with spiritual abuse?I first saw the movie just days after being tossed out of our church and I sat there in tears and in awe as I watched Elsa make the “mistake” of hurting her sister while she was using her incredible gift to create joy and delight.She then is shut up, not allowed to use her gift any longer and she is told she cannot tell anyone what is happening to her. … [Read more...]

Day 17 of 21 Days of Healing: How To Respond

21Daysofhealing

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHis mercies are new every morning.  (Brain work.)Day 17A few days a go I attended a conference for teachers in my discipline – music. Of course, the first person I ran into is a life-long member of the church that tossed me out last December. In fact, because she divorced several years ago, she no longer serves in any capacity. (He had an affair and refused church or any other kind of counseling. The wife did everything she could to save their marriage. But I digress.) “I haven’t seen you in a long time!” she exclaimed. And because she was with another woman whom I did not know, I simply replied, “Oh, like all of us, I’ve been v … [Read more...]

Fundamentalist Homeschooling Christmas: A Video of What My Mom Gave Me For Christmas

Image from Lana Hope Wide Open Ground

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground We never did much for Christmas as a kid, and in many ways, I’m glad. I’ve never felt that rushing around in mobs to buy gifts for western people who have it all is a particular worthy use of time and resources. I don’t have a problem with gifts, decorations, or good food, but right now, traffic is lethal in my town, enough to awaken me to the realization that my parents were at least partially correct. Instead of writing a post about what Christmas is like in a fundie family, I just made a short one-minute video of what my mom sent me for Christmas this year. It really says it all. Mom lives in her own homeschool world. Instead of se … [Read more...]

How Fundamentalist Christians Ruin Christmas

candycane

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser on Dec. 20, 2014Now that I am no longer a Christian, I really enjoy Christmas. I know this might be hard for some to believe, but I enjoy Christmas now more than I ever did when I was a card-carrying member of Club Christian®. The reason is simple. From Thanksgiving to New Years, there were services to prepare, food drives to coördinate, and season-themed sermons to preach. Like the Easter season, Christmas was a high stress, lots of work, time for me. Quite frankly, I found it exhausting and rarely did I have time to enjoy Christmas.And of course, Christmas was that time of year when it was my duty to … [Read more...]

Day 16 of 21 Days of Healing: Get a Bigger Bucket

deepwinter

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod delights in you. (Brain work.)Day 16By now, you probably have figured out what’s coming today. Yep, that’s right. What are the big things you want to do?All my life I have wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Guess what? Last spring we went. The Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Arches National Park, The Petrified Forest, Sedona, the Rocky Mountains and much more. What beauty! What majesty! We were awed. And delighted. We came home with something like 14,000 pictures between our camera, phone cameras, and two iPads. Absolute splendor. … [Read more...]

Happy Holidays – Open Thread

First time in eight years I've put up a tree and decorated the house.

by Suzanne TitkemeyerSince we are mere days away from Christmas and I'm sure many of us here are in the middle of holiday preparations. Right now my kitchen looks like the Keebler Elves Hollow Tree exploded as I'm baking up Christmas cookies.So my question is: How did your holidays change after you got out of extreme Christian fundamentalism?Bruce Gerencser wrote an excellent post about his holidays through the years on his blog - The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser: Christmas, 1957 - 2014.  … [Read more...]

Day 15 of 21 Days of Healing: Making It Real

wintersmorn

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“He restores my soul.” (Brain work.)Day 15At the end of Day 14, you should have had a pretty good idea of what your perfect “ordinary” day would look like. I hope you are taking steps to make that happen.Remember, an “ordinary” day is one that happens on a regular basis – like my work week. Monday through Friday’s are my “ordinary” days and I love having a very restful, relaxing, time outside of my working and commuting hours. … [Read more...]

Late Bloomer

anemone

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixThere are a number of life events that I have arrived at quite late in the game. The biggest life event has been marriage. And there are a few milestones in life I have avoided altogether, such as motherhood, even though most females my age have looked forward to and reached this milestone long ago. … [Read more...]

Day 14 of 21 Days of Healing: I’d Rather Be…

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe have peace with God through our Lord Jesus . . . ” Romans 5:1 Think on this calming thought today.Day 14Yesterday, I talked about the “To-Don’t” list and how I took some time to just stop and rest. I took more than a day and I hope that you will, too. I rested until I was tired of resting. And once I was tired of resting, I started thinking about what I’d rather be doing. In other words, what would my day look like if I could do whatever I wanted?Because, for the longest time, I did what I thought other people wanted. Or what people told me God wanted. Whether it was doing or being, I was always focused on fulfilling othe … [Read more...]

“Un-Friending”

unfriend

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYesterday, I was asked to list three things that have happened in the past year that I can celebrate. Immediately, I wrote that both of my sons graduated from college and both have jobs in their fields of study – not always an easy task these days. … [Read more...]


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