It’s Been a Good Year

champagne-toast

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons I started blogging in the early part of this year mostly because I was bored to tears. I was working on getting editing jobs, but they were few and far between, and my health just doesn’t allow for outside-the-house employment. I also started writing here because I wanted to finally say out loud a lot of the things that had been slowly germinating over the past four or five years but had never been in a place where I felt capable of expressing them. … [Read more...]

Differentiation and Emotional Cut-Offs

True acceptance

by Sarah Henderson cross posted from her blog Feminist in Spite of ThemMurray Bowen's theories on differentiation of self, and emotional cut-offs provide an excellent lens for viewing the complex relationships that exist between family members who were raised in quiverfull and Christian patriarchal families, where the family roles are artificially skewed by religious influence and the necessity for sibling-parenting due to sheer numbers in the family. … [Read more...]

An Average Homeschooler: Introduction

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons  [me, the first year I was homeschooled]   I’ve been avoiding writing about this. Even once I started planning out the series, I debated with myself for weeks over whether or not I wanted to write it out– and then post it. I’ve talked a lot about some of the other aspects of growing up in fundamentalism, but I’ve avoided talking about my experience with homeschooling for a few reasons. I’ve touched on it a few times, and I’ve even written posts for Homeschoolers Anonymous and for Leaving Fundamentalism. Even as I wrote those posts, I was hesitant about sharing them here, although I did eventually. … [Read more...]

When “Respect” Involves “Disgust”

bathing

by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love Joy Feminism and Homeschoolers AnonymousGrowing up in a conservative evangelical home, I believed that we were the ones who truly respected women. I believed that our young men—the young men in my homeschooling community—were being raised to treat the women around them, of whatever age, with respect.I was wrong, very, very wrong. … [Read more...]

True Love Doesn’t Wait

truelovewaits

by Rosie Franklin cross posted from her blog Disrupting Dinner PartiesTrigger warning- Christian virginity/purity culture throughout (which is absolutely not sarcasm as a trigger warning). __________________Also, I told you not to read this, Mom._______________ I talked a bit Tuesday about how I lost my virginity, in my post on rape culture. I sort of mentioned but didn’t go into detail about the fact that the loss of my virginity was somewhat emotionally unmooring for me, in addition to the manner in which I “lost” it being awful. So today I’m going to talk about what I was taught about sex and virginity. … [Read more...]

Dialogue, Privilege, and the Homeschool Debate

pencils

by Heather Doney cross posted from her blog Becoming WorldlyEvents of late have got me thinking about a lot of things, including sex ed, my relationship to popular culture and society, and how advocacy groups work, among other things. It made me think in a broader sense about my life as well, where I came from and where I am going. I’ve traversed a lot of ground. Enough to make my head spin, really, and like Lana Hope saying there is no pure narrative, I know I don’t have answers to all that stuff and I find myself growing more comfortable with not knowing, with moving forward based on sense and feel, not proscriptive mandates on how to live life. It is freeing. … [Read more...]

Accountability and Failure and More Accountability

trolldolls

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundMy early years of my childhood were filled with a lot of rules. My family started homeschooling in the early 90s when I was 6. My first two years homeschooling were really fun. We did a ton of field trips and park days, and I still had my trolls. Lord knows I loved my trolls. … [Read more...]

She’s a Witch!

monty python witch

by Anais Chartschenko cross posted from her blog Whisper CollectorHis mother told him she had seen demons around me. I had heard of overprotective mothers, but this was ridiculous. What was worse is that this guy believed his mom. He offered to pray for me. Guys- a word of advice: It is a complete mood killer to tell your date that you are praying for her immortal soul. … [Read more...]

Sometimes Church is the Problem

crumblingchurch

by Boze Herrington cross posted from his blog The Talking LlamaIn May 2011 I requested a meeting with a church leader about the terrible time I had been having.I hadn’t eaten, really, in three weeks. I could barely sleep. Some nights I would just sit in my room and cry and cry as I thought about my life, about the kind of man I was, someone whose anger and hatred had left him alone and completely friendless. I cared about ideas more than I cared about people; and I realized I was heading towards the same miserable end as my hero, … [Read more...]

Victims and Abusers and Why Church is Not Safe

myfairlady

by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons[trigger warning for abuse] If you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed that I watched My Fair Lady this past weekend, one of my favorite movies from when I was younger, but a movie I haven’t seen in years. And while I enjoyed the nostalgia and singing all the songs again, it was not an entirely pleasant experience and I probably won’t watch it again. Watching Professor Higgins, listening to him sing “Let a Woman in Your Life,” realizing that he never uses Eliza’s name and instead prefers to call her wretch, insect, and baggage, and understanding for the first time that Professor Higgins is an abuser . . . … [Read more...]


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