Part 1 – I am a Publican and a Heathen

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserMoreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. (Matthew 18:15-17)Should church members be allowed to leave the church without permission? Bobby Jamieson, writing for 9Marks, answered the question … [Read more...]

Mari’s Journey – Continued From April 2013

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's MusesI started this blog to tell my story. I stopped abruptly in April 2013 and just never got back to it. Well…. here is the continuation of the story….In the last two installments, I passed the GED test and got a car! A lot happened in a short period of time.After finding out I’d passed, I took a celebratory trip to Minnesota to visit my cousins. I was just so happy that I wasn’t stupid after all and I needed to find someone to share my joy. … [Read more...]

My Conservative Christian Nightmare: I Spent 16 Years in an Abusive Religious Sect

by Vyckie Garrison NLQ Founder from AlternetIf you have not heard of the Quiverfull movement, I’ll sum it up by saying that Quiverfull is an all-encompassing vision of a big, happy, godly family which affects every aspect of a so-called True Believer’s life. Probably the most recognizable Quiverfull family in America is reality TV’s Duggar family of 19 Kids and Counting fame.You'll find Quiverfull families in nearly all types of churches in every community. Quiverfull is simply the “pro-life” idea that truly godly families will “trust the Lord” with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings (“As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of one … [Read more...]

Sea Legs

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFor the first several weeks after we were tossed out of our church I felt like I still had sea legs.  I had learned over the years to walk somewhat steadily – or at least with a great deal of familiarity – as the wind and waves of spiritual abuse crashed over and around me.  Though I found myself on solid ground, my body, mind, and spirit continued for a time to lurch and sway as though I were still on board that hulking monstrosity of a church from whence my spiritually abusive treatment had pounded unabatedly. … [Read more...]

The Mary Crawfords of This World

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like MineEditor's note: The Mary Crawford that Nora is discussing in her blog is a character from Jane Austen's novel "Mansfield Park" An explanation of the character of Mary Crawford and quotes by Mary for those unfamiliar with the writings of  Jane Austen. An important part of recovery after leaving the world of QF to be able to recognize the toxic people in your path. … [Read more...]

Cry Baby

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha WilliamsWho are you crying for? Me. I weep for myself, for the me that was.  Part of the grief process, I suppose.  The stark contrast between my life now and the life I was living two years ago continues to jump out at me at occasionally and I end up in tears.  The scars are all there… … [Read more...]

People Who Matter

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses “Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss You find out (in a hurry!) who really matters and who really doesn’t when you decide it’s time to stop being what other people think you should be and start being you. Figuring out who matters and who doesn’t is so freeing. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about realizing — just yesterday! — that I had been living for several months in a place where nobody cares. … [Read more...]

Waking Up To Hidden Abuse In The Christian Faith

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix A year and six months ago, I officially chose to no longer identify as a Christian. It was the summer of 2012. Since then, many well meaning people have goaded me, guilted me, and mistakenly told me I was confusing all of Christianity for the abusive religious cult I grew up in. They told me it was ok to reject the cult I grew up in, but that I shouldn't reject all of Christianity as well.Well, guess what. I reject it all.  I reject the teachings of the abusive, patriarchal Christian cult I grew up in. And I reject mainstream, evangelical Christianity today. In my opinion, it is imbued with toxic, demeaning beliefs. I wrote about this to … [Read more...]

How in the World Did I Change my Mind?

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons If you’ve been here for any length of time you should be pretty well aware of that fact that I grew up in Christian fundamentalism. It was everything, my entire world, for the bulk of the aware-of-Jesus-and-could-understand-sermons portion of my life. And then I grew up and decided that I didn’t agree with … well, pretty much all of it. Except for the God and Jesus part, which even believing in he/she/they was a struggle for a few years. A while after I’d decided well, I think I’m still a Christian but what does that even mean I started a blog to sort it all out and here we are. … [Read more...]


by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's MusesI went to Bible Study tonight. We were supposed to get into groups and answer this question:As a child, how did you adapt in order to be accepted or in order to fit in?I didn’t answer the question.I fully intended to go home and think about it, but my friend’s 3-year old threw herself at me the second I suggested going home, so I held her, hugged her, and prayed that she would never, ever have the same answer to that question that I have. … [Read more...]