Gaslighting

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

My Story – A Heart Like Mine Part 2

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like MineI was raised as a “modern” Evangelical Christian. But the more I read the more subtle the distinction I find between how I was raised and Fundamentalist beliefs (such as Quiverfull).I didn't wear long dresses/or skirts like the women and girls of the Duggar family, however I still had fashion specifications I was required to follow. I was still in many ways made to be lady like and modest, even if it was in pants. I rebelled and pushed this boundary as best I could and with dramatic flair. I even won my battles with mini skirts eventually. Probably due to my parents crumbling relationship; there was something else to dist … [Read more...]

Day 7 of 21 Days of Healing: Obsession Appointments

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsKeep reminding yourself of how much God loves you. Choose a scripture, song, inspirational statement that you can remember throughout the day.While I began this practice shortly after being tossed out of the church, I must credit my friend, Jennifer Boykin, with the term “Obsession Appointments.” … [Read more...]

Food and Religion – Its Ugly Shadow

by Stephanie - a guest post at Lana Hope's Wide Open Ground. Please be sure to visit Stephanie at her blog - Stephanie Hoffpauir(Editors Note: In the wake of Thanksgiving and the build up to Christmas I think it is important to think about how much stress and unhappiness play a role in keeping us bound to some not so healthy habits. No fat shaming here, lawdy I'm the last person to be throwing fat-rocks, but just have to point out the hypocrisy in the church over weight. Where I attended we were told that being overweight was a huge sin, the sin of gluttony, which only made everyone feel guilty and eat even more. It added to the stress and seemed cruel considering the high percentage of … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Ellie’s Love Story Part 2

by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids CollideAlright. Back to Ellie's story. … [Read more...]

Day 4 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Power Part 3

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.” Is 12:2,3 Day 4: The balance of power. … [Read more...]

Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]

“You’re Supposed to be Creating An Army For God”

A new article about NLQ founder Vyckie Garrison from Good Magazine!One woman’s courageous struggle to be more than a “womb man” by Sarah Stankorb In the fall of 2007, Vyckie Garrison’s faith began to crumble. Her fundamentalist Christian beliefs, which had previously encased her in what seemed like an armor of God’s love, had led her to have seven children as a submissive wife, a similar fate as almost every other grown woman in her religious community. She spent her days home schooling her kids and publishing a pro-life Christian newspaper with her husband. So strong was her faith that when she was warned to steer clear of a hippie, nonbelieving uncle, she felt insulted that others tho … [Read more...]


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