Millipede Part 17

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by MillipedeThis time around it was different on the surface at least. My husband was trying a kinder and gentler approach to his faith. Rather than trying to make his wife follow behind him in the old Patriarchy Parade, my husband was content to go to church by himself. He did encourage me to go and on the infrequent occasions that I did, he would make a point of being considerate of me.Even so, I did not make plans to attend on a regular basis, even with my husband willing to leave when I was ready, it was usually about three in the afternoon when we left church. Given that it took over an hour to get there, the day was mostly over when we got home. Also, this pastor believed that … [Read more...]

Bad, Evil Psychology Helped Me

by LatebloomerGrowing up, I heard a lot of scoffing at psychology in my family, homeschooling community, and fundamentalist church.  In those circles, the study and application of psychology represented a worthless human attempt to feel happier apart from God and become better without the guidance of the Bible.   The anti-psychology sentiment was so strong that even building kids' self-confidence and self-esteem was derided as a "worldly" goal.  There was too much "self" in the name.  Real True Christian children were to be obedient and humble instead.Looking back, I definitely had the obedience thing handled; in fact, I cannot remember ever purposefully disobeying my parents, even in … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 16

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by MillipedeMy story continued.......We were free from the world of Patriarchal religion. On a personal level, I began to blossom. I was working outside the home, not only paying the bills, but able to save a little money here and there. Gradually, the trappings of the Patriarchal movement fell away. I stopped wearing the Prairie wear, in fact I stopped wearing dresses and skirts altogether. I started listening to Rock music and even started listening to Heavy Metal again.My husband was headed down another path. He was adrift, like a rudderless ship he had no direction. We had a few Sundays where we did some Scripture readings in an attempt to have a "home Church" but they … [Read more...]

The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Gloating and Slander: Michael Pearl, Nancy Ann Wilson and Christian Fundamentalist Responses to Criticism

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by Sierra(Editor's note: Many of our NLQ writers have sounded off on this situation. To see more visit Libby Anne, and Incongruous Circumspection. There are others who've also written of what happened that are worth checking out - Rachel Held Evans, The Friendly Atheist, Sarah Over The Moon,  Dianna Anderson, and Are Women Human.)Femina has been lighting up like a Christmas tree since The Gospel Coalition blog post that threw Doug Wilson into the spotlight for arguing that egalitarian sexual relationships were unnatural and that if “authority and submission” aren’t honored in sex, men turn to rape to fulfill their animal urges.Now Wilson’s wife, Nancy Ann, has joined the fray: 10 … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 12

by CaluluI think I cried off and on for a solid eighteen months after we switched churches. It was difficult. What made it even worse was the fact that Tom Smith had apparently told everyone in the Del/Mar/Va area that a) we weren't believers any longer, b) we went to a church of homosexual abortionists and c) we were going to hell. He had said this so long and so loudly that when I tried to keep up with friendships from the old church I was told things like what my friend Dana said.Dana and I had roomed together at conferences. We'd hosted each others kids to conferences. We were like sisters. I took her son on an international vacation with us for several weeks and my son and … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 13

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by MillipedeThe new building had not materialized. The way that things were going, their might not be enough funds to acquire the building. Even so, our pastor continued on with his vision of a new church. I got the sense that even if it he had to go back to having church at home, he was going to create a new organization.It was at this point that we noticed something; my husband was no longer our pastor's confidant. Sure, our pastor would be friendly with my husband and if asked, he would discuss the new church with my husband. However, when the new building became available, he asked several other of the men to accompany him to the new building to see what they thought of it. My … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 11

by CaluluI went home crying, shocked that my pastor had gone back on his word like that. It was a betrayal that left me reeling emotionally. Cried for days feeling a sense of deep betrayal. The pastor was quiet that week, no emails or phone calls.I told my husband that I thought the time was right for me to join him at the other church and that I had no intention of going back to the old church as a member ever again. He was the recipient that afternoon of quite a few emails from Tom Smith telling him that he was dicing with his very salvation by attending this main stream denomination filled with homosexual abortionists.Fast forward a week. Hubby and I both agree that the best … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 5

by Cindy FosterTHE SHUNNINGThis ‘discipline‘ as it turned out was not discipline at all, but punishment which had the appearance of one acting to satisfy his wrath against those who resisted or opposed him. He actually commanded the whole church to SHUN these young people for varying periods of time from 2 weeks to 6 weeks according to the severity of their ‘crimes’. There was only one given 6 weeks, and that was for making the statement about his not disciplining them unless he disciplined the others. This he said was the worst offense of all because that person was, “Making an accusation against a pastor without witnesses”. This person was also suspended from coming to church a … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 10

by CaluluIt seemed like the conferences and teachings were helping Tom even if he was still having his moments of weirdness and dysfunction.And then my darling husband started skipping our church's Sunday School to attend the early service at a big mainstream denomination before coming for to our church for our service. The questions started. I didn't quite know how to answer them because I didn't quite know exactly what was going on in my husband's mind. I knew he was unhappy with our church and visiting the denomination he'd been raised in was comforting to him, like going to the Catholic Charismatic services were to me when I visited down home in Louisiana. But I didn't really … [Read more...]


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