Emotional Incest, Part 1: Definitions

by Libby AnneI’ve been hesitant to write about emotional incest for two reasons: First, it’s too easy for people to think “emotional incest” implies a sexual relationship when it doesn’t, and second, I’ve had some experience with it and drudging that up can be painful. But given how integral emotional incest is to the teachings of Vision Forum and Christian Patriarchy, I’ve decided to devote a few posts to it.Emotional incest is sometimes also called covert incest. It does not involve actual sexual or physical contact. Rather, it involves an unhealthy relationship between parent and child in which the child serves as a sort of emotional spouse or companion to the parent. Here are a co … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 1c Men are Fragile, Women are Manipulative Fools

by Incongruous CircumspectionIn Part 1b we listened in as Gothard tried valiantly to describe the differing outlooks on life that, according to his understanding, men and women exemplify. It needs mentioning again here that Bill is relying on no practical experience. He has never been married. It makes sense that, being he has propped himself up to be a guru in every area of life, and the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of worshipers at his feet, he would make vast, overarching, easily wrapped up in a square box and neatly tied with a silk bow, conclusions for very complex issues in life. One of those issues is human nature. It cannot be pidgeonholed, no matter how many verses … [Read more...]

Authoritarian Parenting and Emotional Repression

by LatebloomerI have a lot of respect for my dad. He's thoughtful and generous to all of us. His constant reading makes him an interesting and well-informed conversationalist. He makes his life decisions very carefully, yet never looks down on me for making different decisions than him. Instead, he tells me all the time that he loves and misses me, and that he's proud of who I've become. I feel so lucky to have him as my dad.Unfortunately, we have not always gotten along so well. Less than ten years ago, our relationship had been almost completely destroyed thanks to the authoritarian parenting techniques of the fundamentalist Christian homeschooling culture. Authoritarian parenting … [Read more...]

Homeschooled Girls and Trash Cans: The Social Isolation of Homeschooling

by LatebloomerWhat do homeschooled girls and trash cans have in common? They both only leave the house once a week. This joke was well-received among homeschooled youth because it rang true for so many of us. For almost all of my teen years, church was the only social activity that I engaged in, the only time during the whole week that I might have a chance to interact with people who were not my immediate family. Making friends in that context, especially as a shy teen girl, seems daunting. However, I had an even greater obstacle to deal with: I was not allowed to participate in youth group.My parents were absolutely terrified of teenage rebellion. Thanks to various … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 1b – Women? Goals? Who Are YOU Kidding!

By Incongruous CircumspectionIn Part 1a, we witnessed Bill Gothard call a woman who does not obey her husband in everything, never questioning any decision he makes, a "fool". He based this epithet on a woman while referencing Ephesians 5:22 - 24. Of course, I uncovered the fact that Bill was flat out lying. That passage says nothing of the sort.Let's continue discussing Gothard's first Basic Need of a Husband ([A man needs a wife that is loyal and supportive]).Gothard continues to expound on the above basic need by stating the following:[Realize that your husband’s perspective is different than yours.]Wow. Bill is really smart. Put two or more people together and you h … [Read more...]

Changes

Changesby CaluluBy now I'm sure you've noticed that I've started doing some of the posting of articles and am an admin on the NLQ message board.Why? Change is in the wind and change can be a good thing. As an artist I try to embrace change. We've all been through some heavy duty changes or we wouldn't even be on this site. To change is to grow.Recently I hurt my back, been suffering the aches of sciatica up and down both of my legs and in my back. Now in my old drinking the koolaid part-fundamental part-evangelical life I would have gone to my church's prayer warriors and they would have told me what they always told me when I got a terrible backache. They would tell me I … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Does Someone Always Have To Be In Charge? Part 1

NO LONGER QUIVERING FAQ: DOES SOMEONE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE? PART 1: HUMAN AUTHORITY IN THE BIBLE by Kristen Rosser ~ aka KRwordgazer God has ordained authority structures in every area of life.  In every enterprise someone has to be in charge-- otherwise there will be anarchy and chaos. Even within the Godhead there is authority: God the Son submitted to the will of the Father. Doesn't a solidly biblical worldview require a chain of command within the Christian family?  A family is not a democracy, after all.  In saying husbands should not be in charge of the home, aren’t you just attacking one aspect of God’s divine plan for authority?It cannot be denied that human societies nee … [Read more...]

Have You Read the NLQ FAQs?

by VyckieFor the past couple of weeks, I have been going through each and every post at No Longer Quivering - editing categories, tags, graphics, meta, etc., in preparation for updating this website's layout and theme.Yes - it's a lot of tedious work, but it will be worth the trouble when NLQ's navigation is greatly improved.  All of the NLQ Story posts which I have finished editing are listed on this page.  The latest batch of related posts that I have been going through is the NLQ Frequently Asked Questions.  As I've been re-reading and editing, I'm thinking, "Hey, this is actually some pretty good stuff!"So I thought I'd draw new readers' attention to this valuable resource of Qu … [Read more...]

No Charity in the Remnant ~ Part 8: Bull in China Shop

by Whisper Rain Whisper was taken under the wing of some of the godly people at her new church. They taught her how to sew, and how to cook the way they did... which was very different from what she was used to. She felt like there was so much she needed to learn and re-learn to be a truly godly woman, but she was willing to do it! Where would she be if she hadn't met these people? Not living the way God expected her to, that was for sure! She was so thankful God had led her to a group of people who really understood what he wanted- people who were serious about God, and who would do anything he told them to. Looking around at the average, "professing christians" living such "lukewarm" … [Read more...]

"Taking Her Myself" A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

by Vyckie Garrison"Does God Hate Women?" author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his "biblical marriage."  As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on … [Read more...]


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