Daughter of the Patriarchy: The Atheist

by SierraWilla was an atheist. A self-styled “unschooler,” she attended homeschool conventions and activities with her two children, Alexis (9) and Steven (5), and it was there that she met my mother. Willa’s husband worked in a field that I knew only abstractly as something involving computers and sales. He was a passive, taciturn man with whom I never exchanged a single word. Their children were boisterous, especially Alexis. Willa attached herself to my mother very quickly. Since Alexis was my age, we were an automatic source of play dates, which often really amounted to tea parties for our mothers. Common interests seemed to abound at first: homeschooling, books, and bargains. Both ador … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by VyckieIt seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times. That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord fo … [Read more...]

"Miscarriage is for a moment; a soul is forever"

Doug Phillips' "Hopeful Theology of Miscarriage"Speaking this past weekend at "The Baby Conference," in San Antonio, Texas, Vision Forum speaker, Doug Phillips gave a talk entitled, "A Hopeful Theology of Miscarriage" ~ a summary of which, Phillips shared on his blog.After taking the position that not all children who die go to heaven ~ but only the "children called of God," Phillips discussed "the significant role that the unborn and young children play in God’s’ covenant of grace ..." and then added:Though acknowledging the sadness and loss of miscarriage — with he and his wife Beall having lost two unborn children — Doug offered two key points of hope that the loss of a child in the … [Read more...]

How To Keep Someone With You Forever

About a month ago, I came across this article:  How To Keep Someone With You Foreverfrom Issendai's Superhero Training Journal.  The message has been haunting me ever since because I believe it is so true of abusive, patriarchal relationships ~ and it was certainly the case in my own marriage.Quick summary:You create a sick system.A sick system has four basic rules:Rule 1: Keep them too busy to think.Rule 2: Keep them tired.Rule 3: Keep them emotionally involved.Rule 4: Reward intermittently.Wow, huh?I would love to post the entire article here as the author goes on to explain exactly how to set up such a system ~ and so much of it sounded all too familiar to me.For e … [Read more...]

Christian Culture Clash: Fundamentalist Patriarchy and My Father’s Church

Part 1 ~ Our Church: Golgothaby Ex-AdrielSundays were my favorite. Early in the morning, before the sun rose, Father knocked on my bedroom door. I dressed quickly in the pre-dawn dimness, and we drove to church together, just us two. A quick stop for the customary chocolate crème pie from a gas station, and then we would be at Golgotha*, pulling into the empty lot before anyone else arrived for church.Father ran the bus ministry. In that morning stillness, I snuggled into an extra coat of his to protect my church dress, and ‘helped’ him check the fluids and tire pressure on the old school bus. When I was a young child, I rode with him off to the shelters to pick up all of the homeless w … [Read more...]

Listen to Vyckie Garrison of No Longer Quivering on The God Discussion Radio Show

A Look Inside the Quiverfull MovementHave you heard of the Duggars, with their 19 children? They are part of a fundamentalist Christian movement known as "Quiverfull."On this segment of God Discussion, we'll get to meet Vyckie, a "mother of many" who is no longer quivering.For details, visit The God Discussion BlogTalkRadio channel.Discuss!Comments are open ;) … [Read more...]

Time Heals All Wounds ~ Part 7: A Godly, God-Fearing Man

All beautiful the march of days, as seasons come and go; The Hand that shaped the rose hath wrought the crystal of the snowby Shelly CruzI was feeling inadequate as a wife and mother lately, but had no clue why. Maybe it was because Cecilia called her husband Sir, and was always hanging on his every word. This had been making me nervous for a while now.I remember asking her about it one day and she only shared, that Sarah called Abraham "Lord." It was a matter of respect.I took a moment, trying to imagine myself, calling my husband Lord, or even Sir. I could not help but chuckle each time I said it to myself. Is this something that a Godly wife was suppose to do? Should I be asking … [Read more...]

The Cult of Masculinity ~ Part 4: Family Values

This is part 4 of a review of the chapter titled, “The Cult of Masculinity” from Chris Hedges’ book, American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America. Click here for part 1, here for part 2, and here for part 3.by VyckieYikes ~ I've kind of been wearing myself out working on the website redesign and today I'm super tired ~ so not much energy for posting.  This segment of my review of chapter 4, "The Cult of Masculinity" from  American Fascists by Chris Hedges will be a quickie ~ but to me it's critical and very personally distressing considering that I spent over 16 years promoting "family values" through our family newspaper.  Throughout those years, I had the vague feeling … [Read more...]


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