Above Rubies Magazine: When Bad Things Happen to Quiverfull Moms

by Ima WakenowWhen I received my latest issue of Above Rubies I was truly looking forward to it.  Everyone raved about this magazine that has been “Strengthening Families Across the World” for 32 years.  It is a much anticipated event due to the sporadic publishing of the magazine.  You see, AR only publishes when enough donations have come in to make a complete distribution of their full color 32 page periodical.  I never really had the opportunity to read AR consistently but I had picked up an issue here and there.  It was never an earth moving experience. Until now.The entire issue seems to have a common theme running through.  The pages are stuffed full of testimonials about various … [Read more...]

Quiverfull Daughters: The Making of a Helpmeet

TLC's 19 Kids & Counting: The Duggar Family on How To Prepare For Courtship & Marriageby Hopewell“Helpmeet” is such an odd-sounding word to modern ears! But it resonates well in the lingo of the King James Bible. Girls born to Quiverfull families begin their training for the life’s calling as a Helpmeet [aka wife and homemaker] almost at birth.Girls are born for one and only one reason: to serve a husband. In that capacity, as his helpmeet, she will bear and raise his children, feed as many children as God sends on whatever income he earns, may raise a garden and animals or run a home-based business [with his approval], may home birth and will certainly homeschool all of her ch … [Read more...]

“So far …”

by VyckieRecently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work.  As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping.Heather also has young children, and since she's super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter ... "How old is your baby?""Eight months," the new mom responded.Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, "I have two kids."... which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence. In my Quiverful Days (Q.D.), whenever we moms of many stated how many children we … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by VyckieIt seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times. That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord fo … [Read more...]

10 Lies I Believed About “Worldly Parents”

by Vyckie1) Worldly parents only have one kid ~ two at the most (and sometimes none at all ~ gasp!) because they are selfish and lazy and cannot be bothered with the responsibilities of parenthood.2) Worldly parents send their kids to public school because they have been duped into turning their kids over to be brainwashed by secular humanism in Satan's government-run indoctrination centers.3) Worldly women only care about chasing after Mammon and earthly glory so they waste their lives making greedy men (to whom they are not even married) rich by their labor ~ which technically makes them whores.4)  Worldly parents indulge their kids and refuse to train them to be "instantly, … [Read more...]

Do the 99 righteous sheep bleat, “Whatever it takes”?

Warning: I've had the flu and a migraine and I've been quite miserable ~ so the following post is just me feeling sorry for myself ~ feel free to skip it if you're not in the mood to listen to me whine and sermonize and lay a major guilt trip on my absentee Christian friends ...by VyckieThe twenty-five years I lived as a born-again Christian was not just about living out the Quiverfull philosophy of welcoming all of the babies which the Lord chose to bless me with ~ it wasn't only about homeschooling, home fellowship, modest dress, sheltering our children from worldly influences and faithfully serving as a submissive helpmeet to my husband.When I first experienced the Lord's grace and … [Read more...]

No Longer Quivering Celebrates 1st Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Hooray ~ NLQ is a year old today! What started out as a small blog with two Quiverfull refugees telling our stories has in just one year's time become the foremost online resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle as well as a thriving virtual community of a diverse group of women (and a few men) to support and encourage one another as we process our experiences and recover from spiritual abuse.Highlights from NLQ's first year:In the initial days following the publication of Kathryn Joyce's "All God's Children" on Salon.com, No Longer Quivering received a tremendous response of supportive feedback and posts around the bl … [Read more...]

Remembering the “Birth Story” of NLQ

by VyckieBack in January of last year, I was checking out articles on Alternet ~ the progressive news site which my uncle Ron had introduced to me during that momentous year of our correspondence which I've come to think of as my "rehab" days ~ it was a year of waking up to the fact that my strict fundamentalism was not only unhealthy for me, but was also destroying my family, going through the withdrawal-like process of freeing my thought life from its narrow, black/white thinking patterns, getting clean of the "virus of the mind" which, in my own life, had been the "hard stuff" which numbed my brain and created illusions of happiness when reality was just too painful to deal with when com … [Read more...]

Looking Back: My Family 10 Years on From Fundamentalism

by AriettyThe past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. ~ L.P. Hartley, The Go-BetweenWhen looking back at my family during our days of patriarchal fundamentalism this opening line in the novel The Go-Between often comes to mind. In the last decade we have journeyed so far from where we once were we may have well have moved countries entirely. In the beginning of our journey we were like refugees, clinging to our past forms and beliefs while trying to figure out what part of this new culture wouldn't damage us. For we had read and been preached to and fervently believed that our now adopted culture--The World--was one of poison and sure death to family bonds and … [Read more...]

Barren

by CaluluOf all the things that happened during my ten years in the Quiverful movement I think that the one thing that caused me the most pain was my inability to bear children. Being infertile in a movement based upon the notion that God grants the righteous a full quiver of arrows led to all sorts of interesting assumptions by people that swore I was their Sister in Christ.Based upon the ways I was treated because of my fertility challenges I came to realize that my church ‘family’ was as dysfunction and rude as any family featured on a sleazy television talk show.I’d been an only child, growing up in a large home in south Louisiana.  My parents had an arranged marriage, which wasn’ … [Read more...]