"Taking Her Myself" A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

by Vyckie Garrison "Does God Hate Women?" author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his "biblical marriage."  As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. … [Read more...]

Tea Party Family Values and the World's Greatest Freak Show

On fundamentalist counterculture & juvenile black market adoption fantasies ... by Vyckie Garrison @ No Longer Quivering Do you remember when it first dawned on you that your relatives are all a bunch of crackpots and weirdos?  Seems like I was around 8 or 9 — my mother worked all night in the casinos and slept most of the day, leaving me alone to protect my naïve older sister from the depraved advances of Mom's alcoholic boyfriends and worry about my big brother's drug addiction. I couldn't count on my grandparents to help — they were too preoccupied with their own divorce, dating, and remarriage dramas. "Holy sugar," I thought to myself, "these people are seriously messed … [Read more...]

Duggar-bashing

by Vyckie The comments on Hopewell's latest Duggar piece are particularly interesting to me ~ especially when compared to the reactions over at Free Jinger ~ Quiverfull of Snark, where the consensus seems to be that Hopewell graded the Duggars way too generously. What's important to notice about this article ~ and Nikita's comment really made this point ~ is that in delineating that very long, tedious 49-point list and giving the Duggar family a grade on how they measure up ~ it really highlights the tremendous amount of legalism, the impossibly high (and often warped) standards ~ and just how unrealistic this Quiverfull ideal is: Not even the Quiverfull Royalty ~ not even … [Read more...]

Leaving the Fold

[Note: This piece was originally posted at "Enlightened Life."] by Jesslyn Five years ago, we commenced our homeschooling journey.  We were moderate christians, active in church and we believed in our faith wholeheartedly.  My 2 oldest were very interested in the solar system and dinosaurs and we spent a great part of that year learning about those subjects.  Our approach was purely scientific and secular.  I had a few moments of doubt (as a christian) about what we were learning but felt confident that “exposing” them to secular science was a good thing.  As the years progressed and we traveled deeper into the homeschooling world, I was faced with some tough … [Read more...]

"Husbands love your wives …" ~ the Peanut Butter in the Patriarchy trap!

My daughter, Berea, has mice in her new apartment ~ and this morning she asked on her Facebook status: WHAT DO MICE WANT? Answer: Peanut Butter! :) by Vyckie I've lost track of how many times I have been told that the only reason wifely submission did not work out in my marriage was because I was married to a jerk. Recently, "Karebear" commented: I hope that you two understand that the groups/husbands that you were with were not practicing a Godly lifestyle. The bible does call women to be submissive to their husbands but it also calls men to love their wives .... And, the bible defines love as, not self-seeking, protective, kind ext.... Another reader wrote: Husbands are commanded to … [Read more...]

“So far …”

by Vyckie Recently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work.  As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping. Heather also has young children, and since she's super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter ... "How old is your baby?" "Eight months," the new mom responded. Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, "I have two kids." ... which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence.  In my Quiverful Days (Q.D.), whenever we moms of many stated how many … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by Vyckie It seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork. Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option. Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times.  That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the … [Read more...]

10 Lies I Believed About “Worldly Parents”

by Vyckie 1) Worldly parents only have one kid ~ two at the most (and sometimes none at all ~ gasp!) because they are selfish and lazy and cannot be bothered with the responsibilities of parenthood. 2) Worldly parents send their kids to public school because they have been duped into turning their kids over to be brainwashed by secular humanism in Satan's government-run indoctrination centers. 3) Worldly women only care about chasing after Mammon and earthly glory so they waste their lives making greedy men (to whom they are not even married) rich by their labor ~ which technically makes them whores. 4)  Worldly parents indulge their kids and refuse to train them to be "instantly, … [Read more...]

Do the 99 righteous sheep bleat, “Whatever it takes”?

Warning: I've had the flu and a migraine and I've been quite miserable ~ so the following post is just me feeling sorry for myself ~ feel free to skip it if you're not in the mood to listen to me whine and sermonize and lay a major guilt trip on my absentee Christian friends ... by Vyckie The twenty-five years I lived as a born-again Christian was not just about living out the Quiverfull philosophy of welcoming all of the babies which the Lord chose to bless me with ~ it wasn't only about homeschooling, home fellowship, modest dress, sheltering our children from worldly influences and faithfully serving as a submissive helpmeet to my husband. When I first experienced the Lord's … [Read more...]

No Longer Quivering Celebrates 1st Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Hooray ~ NLQ is a year old today!  What started out as a small blog with two Quiverfull refugees telling our stories has in just one year's time become the foremost online resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle as well as a thriving virtual community of a diverse group of women (and a few men) to support and encourage one another as we process our experiences and recover from spiritual abuse. Highlights from NLQ's first year: In the initial days following the publication of Kathryn Joyce's "All God's Children" on Salon.com, No Longer Quivering received a tremendous response of supportive feedback and posts around the … [Read more...]


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