Emotional Incest: The Junior Wife

[Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.] by SierraLibby Anne has begun a series on Emotional Incest at Love, Joy, Feminism. In her latest post, she also links Hugo Schwyzer’s striking analysis of the problems with the “Daddy’s Girl” myth and princess culture. The following is my attempt to confirm and add more perspectives to the issue they are bringing to light.As a child of a believer and a nonbeliever, I walked a confusing and sometimes torturous line between the prescriptions of my church and the realities of … [Read more...]

Maternal Martyr, Michelle Duggar, Willing to Risk Life for Baby #20

by Vyckie GarrisonMega-family parents, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar of TLC's "19 & Counting" fame announced on TODAY they are expecting baby #20 - due in April 2012.Despite a difficult pregnancy and premature delivery of now-23-month-old, Josie, Michelle told TLC viewers she is willing to "lay down her life" for another baby."We do not take for granted the wonderful blessings of life that God has bestowed upon us!" writes Michelle on The Duggar Family website. "Many years ago, Jim Bob & I gave this area of our lives to God, allowing Him to grant life as He saw fit."The flip side of the Quiverfull ideal of "trusting the Lord with our family planning" which Jim Bob … [Read more...]

Me? Obey Him?

A review of "Me? Obey Him?" by Elizabeth Rice Handford. Trigger warning for former Quiverfull believers who actually read this book and tried to live according to the principles ... this post is a disturbing trip down memory lane.by Vyckie GarrisonThose fortunate enough to have never actually read "Me? Obey Him?" may be shocked and appalled by the teachings in support of "biblical patriarchy."  This review is simply quotations of Handford's own words (in italics), followed by comments from my personal experience as a former Quiverfull Believer.God's Perfect Creation Required OrderJesus, the Creator of Heaven and earth, submitted Himself to God the Father.  He took His place in … [Read more...]

"Taking Her Myself" A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

by Vyckie Garrison"Does God Hate Women?" author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his "biblical marriage."  As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on … [Read more...]

Tea Party Family Values and the World's Greatest Freak Show

On fundamentalist counterculture & juvenile black market adoption fantasies ... by Vyckie Garrison @ No Longer QuiveringDo you remember when it first dawned on you that your relatives are all a bunch of crackpots and weirdos?  Seems like I was around 8 or 9 — my mother worked all night in the casinos and slept most of the day, leaving me alone to protect my naïve older sister from the depraved advances of Mom's alcoholic boyfriends and worry about my big brother's drug addiction. I couldn't count on my grandparents to help — they were too preoccupied with their own divorce, dating, and remarriage dramas."Holy sugar," I thought to myself, "these people are seriously messed up!" … [Read more...]

Duggar-bashing

by VyckieThe comments on Hopewell's latest Duggar piece are particularly interesting to me ~ especially when compared to the reactions over at Free Jinger ~ Quiverfull of Snark, where the consensus seems to be that Hopewell graded the Duggars way too generously.What's important to notice about this article ~ and Nikita's comment really made this point ~ is that in delineating that very long, tedious 49-point list and giving the Duggar family a grade on how they measure up ~ it really highlights the tremendous amount of legalism, the impossibly high (and often warped) standards ~ and just how unrealistic this Quiverfull ideal is: Not even the Quiverfull Royalty ~ not even p … [Read more...]

Leaving the Fold

[Note: This piece was originally posted at "Enlightened Life."]by JesslynFive years ago, we commenced our homeschooling journey.  We were moderate christians, active in church and we believed in our faith wholeheartedly.  My 2 oldest were very interested in the solar system and dinosaurs and we spent a great part of that year learning about those subjects.  Our approach was purely scientific and secular.  I had a few moments of doubt (as a christian) about what we were learning but felt confident that “exposing” them to secular science was a good thing. As the years progressed and we traveled deeper into the homeschooling world, I was faced with some tough decisions.  None of the fam … [Read more...]

"Husbands love your wives …" ~ the Peanut Butter in the Patriarchy trap!

My daughter, Berea, has mice in her new apartment ~ and this morning she asked on her Facebook status: WHAT DO MICE WANT?Answer: Peanut Butter! :)by VyckieI've lost track of how many times I have been told that the only reason wifely submission did not work out in my marriage was because I was married to a jerk.Recently, "Karebear" commented: I hope that you two understand that the groups/husbands that you were with were not practicing a Godly lifestyle. The bible does call women to be submissive to their husbands but it also calls men to love their wives .... And, the bible defines love as, not self-seeking, protective, kind ext....Another reader wrote: Husbands are commanded to … [Read more...]

“So far …”

by VyckieRecently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work.  As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping.Heather also has young children, and since she's super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter ... "How old is your baby?""Eight months," the new mom responded.Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, "I have two kids."... which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence. In my Quiverful Days (Q.D.), whenever we moms of many stated how many children we … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by VyckieIt seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times. That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord fo … [Read more...]


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