Duggar-bashing

by VyckieThe comments on Hopewell's latest Duggar piece are particularly interesting to me ~ especially when compared to the reactions over at Free Jinger ~ Quiverfull of Snark, where the consensus seems to be that Hopewell graded the Duggars way too generously.What's important to notice about this article ~ and Nikita's comment really made this point ~ is that in delineating that very long, tedious 49-point list and giving the Duggar family a grade on how they measure up ~ it really highlights the tremendous amount of legalism, the impossibly high (and often warped) standards ~ and just how unrealistic this Quiverfull ideal is: Not even the Quiverfull Royalty ~ not even p … [Read more...]

Leaving the Fold

[Note: This piece was originally posted at "Enlightened Life."]by JesslynFive years ago, we commenced our homeschooling journey.  We were moderate christians, active in church and we believed in our faith wholeheartedly.  My 2 oldest were very interested in the solar system and dinosaurs and we spent a great part of that year learning about those subjects.  Our approach was purely scientific and secular.  I had a few moments of doubt (as a christian) about what we were learning but felt confident that “exposing” them to secular science was a good thing. As the years progressed and we traveled deeper into the homeschooling world, I was faced with some tough decisions.  None of the fam … [Read more...]

"Husbands love your wives …" ~ the Peanut Butter in the Patriarchy trap!

My daughter, Berea, has mice in her new apartment ~ and this morning she asked on her Facebook status: WHAT DO MICE WANT?Answer: Peanut Butter! :)by VyckieI've lost track of how many times I have been told that the only reason wifely submission did not work out in my marriage was because I was married to a jerk.Recently, "Karebear" commented: I hope that you two understand that the groups/husbands that you were with were not practicing a Godly lifestyle. The bible does call women to be submissive to their husbands but it also calls men to love their wives .... And, the bible defines love as, not self-seeking, protective, kind ext....Another reader wrote: Husbands are commanded to … [Read more...]

“So far …”

by VyckieRecently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work.  As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping.Heather also has young children, and since she's super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter ... "How old is your baby?""Eight months," the new mom responded.Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, "I have two kids."... which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence. In my Quiverful Days (Q.D.), whenever we moms of many stated how many children we … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by VyckieIt seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times. That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord fo … [Read more...]

10 Lies I Believed About “Worldly Parents”

by Vyckie1) Worldly parents only have one kid ~ two at the most (and sometimes none at all ~ gasp!) because they are selfish and lazy and cannot be bothered with the responsibilities of parenthood.2) Worldly parents send their kids to public school because they have been duped into turning their kids over to be brainwashed by secular humanism in Satan's government-run indoctrination centers.3) Worldly women only care about chasing after Mammon and earthly glory so they waste their lives making greedy men (to whom they are not even married) rich by their labor ~ which technically makes them whores.4)  Worldly parents indulge their kids and refuse to train them to be "instantly, … [Read more...]

Do the 99 righteous sheep bleat, “Whatever it takes”?

Warning: I've had the flu and a migraine and I've been quite miserable ~ so the following post is just me feeling sorry for myself ~ feel free to skip it if you're not in the mood to listen to me whine and sermonize and lay a major guilt trip on my absentee Christian friends ...by VyckieThe twenty-five years I lived as a born-again Christian was not just about living out the Quiverfull philosophy of welcoming all of the babies which the Lord chose to bless me with ~ it wasn't only about homeschooling, home fellowship, modest dress, sheltering our children from worldly influences and faithfully serving as a submissive helpmeet to my husband.When I first experienced the Lord's grace and … [Read more...]

No Longer Quivering Celebrates 1st Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Hooray ~ NLQ is a year old today! What started out as a small blog with two Quiverfull refugees telling our stories has in just one year's time become the foremost online resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle as well as a thriving virtual community of a diverse group of women (and a few men) to support and encourage one another as we process our experiences and recover from spiritual abuse.Highlights from NLQ's first year:In the initial days following the publication of Kathryn Joyce's "All God's Children" on Salon.com, No Longer Quivering received a tremendous response of supportive feedback and posts around the bl … [Read more...]

Remembering the “Birth Story” of NLQ

by VyckieBack in January of last year, I was checking out articles on Alternet ~ the progressive news site which my uncle Ron had introduced to me during that momentous year of our correspondence which I've come to think of as my "rehab" days ~ it was a year of waking up to the fact that my strict fundamentalism was not only unhealthy for me, but was also destroying my family, going through the withdrawal-like process of freeing my thought life from its narrow, black/white thinking patterns, getting clean of the "virus of the mind" which, in my own life, had been the "hard stuff" which numbed my brain and created illusions of happiness when reality was just too painful to deal with when com … [Read more...]

Looking Back: My Family 10 Years on From Fundamentalism

by AriettyThe past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. ~ L.P. Hartley, The Go-BetweenWhen looking back at my family during our days of patriarchal fundamentalism this opening line in the novel The Go-Between often comes to mind. In the last decade we have journeyed so far from where we once were we may have well have moved countries entirely. In the beginning of our journey we were like refugees, clinging to our past forms and beliefs while trying to figure out what part of this new culture wouldn't damage us. For we had read and been preached to and fervently believed that our now adopted culture--The World--was one of poison and sure death to family bonds and … [Read more...]


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