Remembering the “Birth Story” of NLQ

by VyckieBack in January of last year, I was checking out articles on Alternet ~ the progressive news site which my uncle Ron had introduced to me during that momentous year of our correspondence which I've come to think of as my "rehab" days ~ it was a year of waking up to the fact that my strict fundamentalism was not only unhealthy for me, but was also destroying my family, going through the withdrawal-like process of freeing my thought life from its narrow, black/white thinking patterns, getting clean of the "virus of the mind" which, in my own life, had been the "hard stuff" which numbed my brain and created illusions of happiness when reality was just too painful to deal with when com … [Read more...]

Looking Back: My Family 10 Years on From Fundamentalism

by AriettyThe past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. ~ L.P. Hartley, The Go-BetweenWhen looking back at my family during our days of patriarchal fundamentalism this opening line in the novel The Go-Between often comes to mind. In the last decade we have journeyed so far from where we once were we may have well have moved countries entirely. In the beginning of our journey we were like refugees, clinging to our past forms and beliefs while trying to figure out what part of this new culture wouldn't damage us. For we had read and been preached to and fervently believed that our now adopted culture--The World--was one of poison and sure death to family bonds and … [Read more...]

Barren

by CaluluOf all the things that happened during my ten years in the Quiverful movement I think that the one thing that caused me the most pain was my inability to bear children. Being infertile in a movement based upon the notion that God grants the righteous a full quiver of arrows led to all sorts of interesting assumptions by people that swore I was their Sister in Christ.Based upon the ways I was treated because of my fertility challenges I came to realize that my church ‘family’ was as dysfunction and rude as any family featured on a sleazy television talk show.I’d been an only child, growing up in a large home in south Louisiana.  My parents had an arranged marriage, which wasn’ … [Read more...]

An NLQ Christmas ‹(ô¿ô)›

by VyckieChristmas used to be a super big deal at our house.  I always went all out with way too many Christmas decorations, we baked cookies and made candy, we visited nursing homes, we went caroling... Oh, and the traditions ~ I incorporated every tradition I ever heard of into our Christmas celebration, and even invented a unique, and very touching tradition of my own.  Each year, we bought a nativity set and mailed out one piece per day to a specially-chosen family along with carols, coloring pages, and Christmas devotions related to the nativity character.  For instance, we might mail out one of the wise men with the music to "We Three Kings," a brief story explaining the meaning o … [Read more...]

Quiverfull in a Nutshell

Michelle says, Never enough babies!What the quiverfull movement doesn't have is satisfaction. It casts itself as only looking for "blessing" but in many cases it seems to go far beyond that to reach the collectors' mentality which bespeaks more of greed, grabbing for every child you can, and if you don't do that, you fail spiritually. It's an insidious teaching and my only regret in accepting my atheism is knowing that there will be no ultimate reckoning where those who promoted and gained from this teaching do not face what they have created and see it for what it really is. The quiverful movement claims to welcome every child, but it never allows you to be happy with just what you have … [Read more...]

I Have Won

by TapatiCrashing against the wall World spinning crazily Your voice from a distance Screaming in fury Self righteous condemnationAgain the blows come They seem to explode inside my head I don't see your fist in its journey towards my body.In defeat I huddle Arms over my head, shielding in vain Knees drawn up to chest I believe this is the end.Finally you finish Your anger and frustration relieved. Surprised to be alive I remain where I am, in shock.Slowly reason returns. I try to pull myself together Clutching the shreds of sanity-- Determined to survive.In bitterness I hear the pleas To forgive you one more time. Ignore the empty promises "It'll never happen again."I know … [Read more...]

Happy Halloween

by VyckieAngel's boyfriend, Aaron, is in the evil jester costume.  Next to him is Hazelle ~ looking rather witchy.  Angel ... I'm not sure what that costume is, but I think it's pretty awesome.  Chassé was a cowgirl ~ no gun, but she still looks like she could hurt you, huh? LOL  In the front are Lydia Jean ~ a.k.a. "Sharpay" ~ and Wesley the Vampire. (Not pictured are: Andrew who was with his friends ~ and Berea ~ I think she was working.)"Oooh, creepy" ~ we actually did Halloween this year for the first time in 20+ years.Well, I should say that the kids "did Halloween" while I was busy working on preparations for the upcoming NLQ Carnival Days ~ I'm desperately scrambling to have eve … [Read more...]

A Most Twisted Love

by VyckieMom & Dad are in love ... but is a patriarchal relationship of entitlement-meets-martyrdom a healthy and mutually beneficial expression of love?Following a recent interview with the religion editor of our local newspaper, I've been thinking more about what I've learned from St. Bernard of Clairvaux concerning the four "degrees" of love which the ancient monk postulated in considering man's relationship to God (note that this applies to all other relationships as well) ~ although I've already written briefly on this topic here, I'd like to now give a more thorough explanation:Level 1) I love me for my benefit ~ here's an infantile, self-involved person with a severe … [Read more...]

Lo, children ARE a blessing …

by Vyckie  It is true ~ I am abundantly blessed ...  No Longer Quivering has been up and running for less than 4 months ~ and in that short time, I think the blog and forums have already developed quite a community to provide a fair amount of stories and info. which illustrate some of the very real problems with the quiverfull worldview and lifestyle. Just this morning, however ~ as I was looking at the posts here and trying to get a feel of the overall tone of NLQ ~ I noticed that a very important message has definitely been under-represented. As much as I hope to expose the potential pitfalls of the QF/P lifestyle, it is not at all my intention to deny or minimize the central message o … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]


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