I Have Won

by TapatiCrashing against the wall World spinning crazily Your voice from a distance Screaming in fury Self righteous condemnationAgain the blows come They seem to explode inside my head I don't see your fist in its journey towards my body.In defeat I huddle Arms over my head, shielding in vain Knees drawn up to chest I believe this is the end.Finally you finish Your anger and frustration relieved. Surprised to be alive I remain where I am, in shock.Slowly reason returns. I try to pull myself together Clutching the shreds of sanity-- Determined to survive.In bitterness I hear the pleas To forgive you one more time. Ignore the empty promises "It'll never happen again."I know … [Read more...]

Happy Halloween

by VyckieAngel's boyfriend, Aaron, is in the evil jester costume.  Next to him is Hazelle ~ looking rather witchy.  Angel ... I'm not sure what that costume is, but I think it's pretty awesome.  Chassé was a cowgirl ~ no gun, but she still looks like she could hurt you, huh? LOL  In the front are Lydia Jean ~ a.k.a. "Sharpay" ~ and Wesley the Vampire. (Not pictured are: Andrew who was with his friends ~ and Berea ~ I think she was working.)"Oooh, creepy" ~ we actually did Halloween this year for the first time in 20+ years.Well, I should say that the kids "did Halloween" while I was busy working on preparations for the upcoming NLQ Carnival Days ~ I'm desperately scrambling to have eve … [Read more...]

A Most Twisted Love

by VyckieMom & Dad are in love ... but is a patriarchal relationship of entitlement-meets-martyrdom a healthy and mutually beneficial expression of love?Following a recent interview with the religion editor of our local newspaper, I've been thinking more about what I've learned from St. Bernard of Clairvaux concerning the four "degrees" of love which the ancient monk postulated in considering man's relationship to God (note that this applies to all other relationships as well) ~ although I've already written briefly on this topic here, I'd like to now give a more thorough explanation:Level 1) I love me for my benefit ~ here's an infantile, self-involved person with a severe … [Read more...]

Lo, children ARE a blessing …

by Vyckie  It is true ~ I am abundantly blessed ...  No Longer Quivering has been up and running for less than 4 months ~ and in that short time, I think the blog and forums have already developed quite a community to provide a fair amount of stories and info. which illustrate some of the very real problems with the quiverfull worldview and lifestyle. Just this morning, however ~ as I was looking at the posts here and trying to get a feel of the overall tone of NLQ ~ I noticed that a very important message has definitely been under-represented. As much as I hope to expose the potential pitfalls of the QF/P lifestyle, it is not at all my intention to deny or minimize the central message o … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]

Dear Happy Full-quiver-er …

by VyckieFrequently in the comments section here at NLQ, we hear from women who are living the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle and are loving it ~ these women often feel that No Longer Quivering is portraying *all* QF/P families as oppressive and abusive ~ and understandably, they feel defensive about the perceived attack on their freely-chosen lifestyle.Early on, when we first started this blog, there was an exchange along these lines which I really have been wanting to highlight ~ and I'm finally getting around to digging these posts out of the comment section and bringing them front and center because I believe that the response from "Journey" deserves some serious … [Read more...]

Hey, Hazelle … about "that book…"

by VyckieFor her 13th birthday, I got Hazelle a ticket to Seattle ~ she'll be leaving tomorrow to spend Spring Break with Laura. When Laura lived here with us, she and Hazelle became pretty good friends ;-)This morning, about 5 minutes before leaving for school, Hazelle (who is a 6th grader) asked me to write a response to the letter/book report she wrote for me as a class assignment. I scribbled out a letter and she's off to school ~ here's what I wrote:Dear Hazelle,Thank you for the letter telling me about the book, The Giver ~ which you are reading in school.Back when we were home schooling and attending home church, I heard about a really terrible book (worse than Harry … [Read more...]

I Have Too Many Kids!

   Kiss me right there, Mom! I'm up way too late working on my story ~ thought I'd take a break for a minute and go moderate comments. I found the following from "Cynthia" and started to post my own comment in reply ~ but after typing for a bit, decided I don't want this buried in the comments section ~ it needs to be a post of its own.Here's what Cynthia wrote:Wow, I am amazed how so many things seem to be falling into a straight line for me regarding this issue.I have nine children simply because I was emotionally and spiritually manipulated into a quiverfull mindset. Finally, with the birth of my last child, we realized that we needed to finish what we had started and raise these c … [Read more...]

To Heck With HELL … ‹(ô¿ô)›

Okay ~ I've got my thinking cap on again ;-) You all are sure to really wonder about the apparent randomness of my posts ~ seems like the topics I bring up are all over the place, huh?I should be writing more of my story (I actually am working on that) ~ but recently I've been thinking that a BIG part of the reason I was able to throw out the BABY and subsequently get out of the "bath water" ~ i.e., escape the QF/patriarchal worldview in which I had invested so much of my life, my very SELF ~ is simply this:Even as a Christian, I never believed in Hell. I avoided talking about it much because I couldn't quite fit my universalism into the rest of what I believed about the Bible and … [Read more...]

IT’S TRUE: We’ve thrown out the BABY … and the bath water

by VyckieThere have been several Christian readers of this blog recently who are leaving comments to the affect that Laura and I were "following" ~ a cultic movement ~ "interpretations of man" ~ a false understanding of God.Their message is this, "Don't throw out the baby with the bath water! If only you REALLY KNEW Jesus ~ you would understand that He loves you and seeks your good." One comment reads, "There's a big difference between following a cause and following the living Christ."I will admit that such comments are seriously aggravating to me because one point we'd really like to make in all of this is that Laura and I were genuine Christians.While Laura admittedly did "turn … [Read more...]


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