SASBN: Putting an End to the Survivor Wars

grapevine

by Vyckie GarrisonBreaking free from the absolute control of a cultic group is incredibly hard - it's a soul-wrenching experience and in all honesty, none of us walk away unscathed and completely healthy. Spiritual abuse survivors are hurt, traumatized, damaged and often broken. I wish I … [Read more...]

To My Shame … I think I might understand Hillary Adam’s mother

Major trigger warning for all former QF moms who read here at NLQ - :(by VyckieOkay - I told myself not to watch that Judge Adams video, cuz I knew it would be triggering - but I followed the link posted by an NLQ forum member to Pandagon, read the article - and then played the video. God help me.All I could think was - what ever must Hillary's mom have been thinking? And the horrible thing about it is that I could guess what must've been going through her mind when she actively participated in the beating of her daughter.I can remember many occasions in which my ex-husbands's abuse of the children was so intolerable - I would actually jump in and take over because I knew … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: The Elsie Books

This'll be interesting.  While cooped up in the three back rooms with Warren and all six kids during the remodeling project, I picked up one of Angel's books, "Elsie Dinsmore" ~ just skimming through when something caught my attention and led to me reading the entire 8 book set.  (More volumes have since been published.)  I was seriously rolling my eyes the whole way through.  I wrote this review and submitted it to Harvey & Laurie Bluedorn's "Teaching the Trivium" discussion list for classical ed. homeschoolers. The Elsie Books  The main problem I have with the Elsie books is the characters are all so unbelievable!  Even the villains are basically good characters (Arthur Dinsmore was … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Quiverfull and the Life of the Mother

The recent "Born to Breed" episode of "Secret Lives of Women" has attracted quite a bit of attention from practicing Quiverfull women ~ and several QF/P blogs are discussing my story and NLQ.  I appreciate that quite a few of these blog commenters are giving thoughtful consideration to the message here. But many others are insisting that my Quiverfull "conviction" was a burdensome form of legalism rather than a true calling from the Lord.  It is frustrating to read their comments as these women dismiss my Quiverfull experience as irrelevant by concluding that what we were doing in our family was not the same heartfelt, Spirit-led decision based on our sincere love for the Lord and our desir … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: "The children do not get it at all …"

This letter which I wrote to Jonathan Lindvall via his "Bold Christian Living" email discussion list fits into the time period of the latest installment of my story.  This one is total crap ~ I was trying so desperately to figure a way to get Angel to accept and embrace the godly, quiverfull lifestyle which we'd chosen for our family ~ I think that my desperation is quite apparent in this rather pathetic letter: Dear Mr. Lindvall,Thank you so much for your ministry -- you have been a great encouragement to my husband & me.  I have a concern that I thought you might be able to address as you come from a godly Christian background.  You may have already dealt with this subject and if so, … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Please do not refer to homosexuals as "gay"

Warning: If you are a sensitive individual ~ possibly prone to PTSD reactions ~ please be aware that this particular edition of my "Tour de Crap" will likely trip your trigger.  It's a choice piece to be sure ~ and timely too, in light of all the ruckus over the Conservative Bible Project's determination to eliminate liberal/progressive bias from the bible.  That's right, not even the bible itself is conservative enough for True Believers ™.I understand the mentality ~ BTDT, wrote the following column for our "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper back when my head was totally "there" ~ that is, in a place of absolutist, black & white, no-room-for-compromise thinking.Okay ~ and I have to sa … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap ~ On Our Anniversary …

  By Vyckie    "Just smile, okay?" ~ this picture of me with Warren was taken two years ago today ~ on our 18th wedding anniversary, just before church. During the service that Sunday morning, I surprised everyone by going to the front of the church and reading aloud the following letter:On August 5, 1989, Warren and I pledged our love and our lives solely to one another in a small church in Dennison, Iowa. Just before the wedding, a tornado went through town and we couldn't help but wonder if that upheaval in the natural world might be suggestive of the commotion going on in another place. It's not that I think the devil was worried that our joining together as husband and wife was a se … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: They Shall Not Be Ashamed

Here's an article which I wrote shortly after a QF-ing friend had twins (I was so jealous) ~ this was published in Above Rubies and SALT magazines. I've added my comments at the end of the article ...THEY SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED by vyckie bennettIt sure seems to me that a high percentage of Quiver-minded families are blessed with twins (and triplets).Of course, the mere fact that we're having more pregnancies and many QF mothers are older (two of the "risk factors" for multiples) can partially account for this phenomenon - but I think there's more to the story.Could it be that God has a fantastic work in store and He's placing His arrows in the quivers of His sharpest marksmen? Mighty … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: A Change of Heart

Are these all yours? No ~ not all ~ Angel was at the zoo when this picture was taken yesterday at the park ~ so one of them is missing ;-)I've been thinking that now would be a good time to add our "reversal testimony" to my Tour de Crap ~ since I am to the part in my story when the babies started coming ... and coming ... and coming. Plus ~ Mother's Day is coming up so that seems like an appropriate opportunity to tell how it is that, although I had determined as a child that I would never have any children, I ended up as a mother to seven kids. (And in case you're worried that I'm not happy about all these children, please read this.)I originally wrote this testimony about six months … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Bless, Do Good, Pray … 3 Remedies for Sibling Rivalry

This photo of my five girls was taken last Christmas ~ and yes, they still do argue with each other ‹(ô¿ô)›Here's another of my "Q.D." (Quivering Days) articles which I wrote for our paper ~ this was subsequently published in several popular home school magazines. As you read, keep in mind that at the time I wrote this, I was near the breaking point from all the stress in our home ~ things were really falling apart for us, with Angel cutting herself and Warren growing more paranoid and difficult by the day. I was trying to hold it all together. I could see that the lifestyle we'd adopted was really not working out for us ~ but at the time I wrote this article, I couldn't quite admit what o … [Read more...]


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