Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Recovery From Crash Dieting

by TapatiYears ago as part of my body image work I went on a "recovery from dieting" program. My relationship with food was a mess after years of crash dieting and growing up in a family of crash dieters. Foods were all divided into strict categories of good and bad, and I associated the "good" foods with starvation diets I'd been on, and the punishment and deprivation I'd experienced. I beat myself up mentally for wanting or enjoying the "bad" foods, foods I now can enjoy in moderation.The rules were simple:1. Eat only when hungry.This was mostly a challenge of recognizing when I was hungry and eating right away. I found I was more likely to go past that point and only eat when I … [Read more...]

Quiverfull in a Nutshell

Michelle says, Never enough babies!What the quiverfull movement doesn't have is satisfaction. It casts itself as only looking for "blessing" but in many cases it seems to go far beyond that to reach the collectors' mentality which bespeaks more of greed, grabbing for every child you can, and if you don't do that, you fail spiritually. It's an insidious teaching and my only regret in accepting my atheism is knowing that there will be no ultimate reckoning where those who promoted and gained from this teaching do not face what they have created and see it for what it really is. The quiverful movement claims to welcome every child, but it never allows you to be happy with just what you have … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Day One Assignment

by TapatiFind some images online, in card shops, in books or magazines, or elsewhere of women (or men) whose body type resembles your own. It’s OK if this project takes more than one day, but spend at least 15 minutes per day on it until you have assembled several images. You might color-copy or scan some images if you go to the library to find them. When it comes to magazines, you might look in something other than fashion-oriented issues. Try everything from National Geographic to alternative press titles. Pagan magazines are a good bet for a variety of images.Older woman can find some wonderful images in a deck of cards entitled “Wisdom of the Crone.” You can find them at http: … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Why Body Image Matters

by TapatiMy involvement with the issue of body image came out of my encounter with the size acceptance movement in the late 1980s. I was fortunate enough to meet Ruah Bull, a body image educator. I had never heard of such a thing but soon I was exposed to her classes at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California. She had studied with body image guru Marcia Hutchinson and had joined with other large women to form a radical group that occasionally defaced billboards with thin models and went out to eat together in public—always a radical act for a large woman. They encouraged each other to wear sexy clothing and supported each other’s efforts to throw off inhibitions that they’d absorbed in our l … [Read more...]

I Have Won

by TapatiCrashing against the wall World spinning crazily Your voice from a distance Screaming in fury Self righteous condemnationAgain the blows come They seem to explode inside my head I don't see your fist in its journey towards my body.In defeat I huddle Arms over my head, shielding in vain Knees drawn up to chest I believe this is the end.Finally you finish Your anger and frustration relieved. Surprised to be alive I remain where I am, in shock.Slowly reason returns. I try to pull myself together Clutching the shreds of sanity-- Determined to survive.In bitterness I hear the pleas To forgive you one more time. Ignore the empty promises "It'll never happen again."I know … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: The Elsie Books

This'll be interesting.  While cooped up in the three back rooms with Warren and all six kids during the remodeling project, I picked up one of Angel's books, "Elsie Dinsmore" ~ just skimming through when something caught my attention and led to me reading the entire 8 book set.  (More volumes have since been published.)  I was seriously rolling my eyes the whole way through.  I wrote this review and submitted it to Harvey & Laurie Bluedorn's "Teaching the Trivium" discussion list for classical ed. homeschoolers. The Elsie Books  The main problem I have with the Elsie books is the characters are all so unbelievable!  Even the villains are basically good characters (Arthur Dinsmore was … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Quiverfull and the Life of the Mother

The recent "Born to Breed" episode of "Secret Lives of Women" has attracted quite a bit of attention from practicing Quiverfull women ~ and several QF/P blogs are discussing my story and NLQ.  I appreciate that quite a few of these blog commenters are giving thoughtful consideration to the message here. But many others are insisting that my Quiverfull "conviction" was a burdensome form of legalism rather than a true calling from the Lord.  It is frustrating to read their comments as these women dismiss my Quiverfull experience as irrelevant by concluding that what we were doing in our family was not the same heartfelt, Spirit-led decision based on our sincere love for the Lord and our desir … [Read more...]

Shutting Off My Brain ~ Part 4

by JourneyWhen I shut off my brain and became willing to do whatever Mark said, he was delighted. Absolutely delighted. And everything changed. Everything. The first thing he did was give me a list on how I was to clean the bathroom. I had daily chores and weekly chores from him, down to minute details.I remember the first day I followed his list. I was humiliated. It was as if I was a child again and he was the parent. I told him that, too (in a humbled and submissive way, of course) and he smiled and said, “Exactly. Your parents did a terrible job of raising you when it comes to cleaning, and now God has given you to me so that I can raise you and help you become the way you s … [Read more...]

A culture of fear built on a thousand little lies

by dogemperorMy story of how I walked away from Joel's Army--and joined the survivor community--started, quite ironically enough, with (of all things) Christian heavy metal...because, interestingly enough, it was my first major experience in how coercive groups operate by telling their members a thousand little lies to create a culture of fear.To make a long story short, when I was eleven both the Sunday school I attended (at an Assemblies of God megachurch which I would eventually discover some 24 years later was one of the fifteen most influential churches in the United States of what was then known as "Joel's Army" and which has since rebranded as "Elijah's Army" and the "New … [Read more...]

There has to be another way!

by VyckieThroughout my labor with Hazelle ~ yes, that long horrible, absolutely miserable 4th pregnancy and delivery ~ I kept thinking that, while I really did not want to have another c-section delivery, I wasn't exactly excited about going through labor and delivery either.I would often say to anyone who might be listening (usually my sister, Sandy), "There's got to be another way ..."When my water broke, I was so exhausted from all the complications of that pregnancy combined with eight days of flu ~ all I wanted was to sleep. I really could not get it in my head that, if I didn't want the baby to be delivered surgically (as her three older sisters had been), then I was going to … [Read more...]


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