NLQ FAQ: How can I help my "Quiverfull" friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?   There are two important factors to consider in this situation:   1) How commit … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: They Shall Not Be Ashamed

Here's an article which I wrote shortly after a QF-ing friend had twins (I was so jealous) ~ this was published in Above Rubies and SALT magazines. I've added my comments at the end of the article ...THEY SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED by vyckie bennettIt sure seems to me that a high percentage of Quiver-minded families are blessed with twins (and triplets).Of course, the mere fact that we're having more pregnancies and many QF mothers are older (two of the "risk factors" for multiples) can partially account for this phenomenon - but I think there's more to the story.Could it be that God has a fantastic work in store and He's placing His arrows in the quivers of His sharpest marksmen? Mighty … [Read more...]

Dear Happy Full-quiver-er …

by VyckieFrequently in the comments section here at NLQ, we hear from women who are living the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle and are loving it ~ these women often feel that No Longer Quivering is portraying *all* QF/P families as oppressive and abusive ~ and understandably, they feel defensive about the perceived attack on their freely-chosen lifestyle.Early on, when we first started this blog, there was an exchange along these lines which I really have been wanting to highlight ~ and I'm finally getting around to digging these posts out of the comment section and bringing them front and center because I believe that the response from "Journey" deserves some serious … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: A Change of Heart

Are these all yours? No ~ not all ~ Angel was at the zoo when this picture was taken yesterday at the park ~ so one of them is missing ;-)I've been thinking that now would be a good time to add our "reversal testimony" to my Tour de Crap ~ since I am to the part in my story when the babies started coming ... and coming ... and coming. Plus ~ Mother's Day is coming up so that seems like an appropriate opportunity to tell how it is that, although I had determined as a child that I would never have any children, I ended up as a mother to seven kids. (And in case you're worried that I'm not happy about all these children, please read this.)I originally wrote this testimony about six months … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Bless, Do Good, Pray … 3 Remedies for Sibling Rivalry

This photo of my five girls was taken last Christmas ~ and yes, they still do argue with each other ‹(ô¿ô)›Here's another of my "Q.D." (Quivering Days) articles which I wrote for our paper ~ this was subsequently published in several popular home school magazines. As you read, keep in mind that at the time I wrote this, I was near the breaking point from all the stress in our home ~ things were really falling apart for us, with Angel cutting herself and Warren growing more paranoid and difficult by the day. I was trying to hold it all together. I could see that the lifestyle we'd adopted was really not working out for us ~ but at the time I wrote this article, I couldn't quite admit what o … [Read more...]

Hey, Hazelle … about "that book…"

by VyckieFor her 13th birthday, I got Hazelle a ticket to Seattle ~ she'll be leaving tomorrow to spend Spring Break with Laura. When Laura lived here with us, she and Hazelle became pretty good friends ;-)This morning, about 5 minutes before leaving for school, Hazelle (who is a 6th grader) asked me to write a response to the letter/book report she wrote for me as a class assignment. I scribbled out a letter and she's off to school ~ here's what I wrote:Dear Hazelle,Thank you for the letter telling me about the book, The Giver ~ which you are reading in school.Back when we were home schooling and attending home church, I heard about a really terrible book (worse than Harry … [Read more...]

I Have Too Many Kids!

   Kiss me right there, Mom! I'm up way too late working on my story ~ thought I'd take a break for a minute and go moderate comments. I found the following from "Cynthia" and started to post my own comment in reply ~ but after typing for a bit, decided I don't want this buried in the comments section ~ it needs to be a post of its own.Here's what Cynthia wrote:Wow, I am amazed how so many things seem to be falling into a straight line for me regarding this issue.I have nine children simply because I was emotionally and spiritually manipulated into a quiverfull mindset. Finally, with the birth of my last child, we realized that we needed to finish what we had started and raise these c … [Read more...]

To Heck With HELL … ‹(ô¿ô)›

Okay ~ I've got my thinking cap on again ;-) You all are sure to really wonder about the apparent randomness of my posts ~ seems like the topics I bring up are all over the place, huh?I should be writing more of my story (I actually am working on that) ~ but recently I've been thinking that a BIG part of the reason I was able to throw out the BABY and subsequently get out of the "bath water" ~ i.e., escape the QF/patriarchal worldview in which I had invested so much of my life, my very SELF ~ is simply this:Even as a Christian, I never believed in Hell. I avoided talking about it much because I couldn't quite fit my universalism into the rest of what I believed about the Bible and … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: Homeschool? Oh, I Could Never Do That!

This photo of my lovely children was taken on Mother's Day ~ 2005. Here's another article that I wrote back when I was "quivering." (‹(ô¿ô)›) The reason I wanted to share it here is simply to make the point that, for me (and I believe MANY quiverfullers), it was a "package deal." We started out homeschooling (and I'm not saying that ALL homeschoolers go down this exact same path ~ but we certainly weren't the only ones) ~ and everything else flowed from there.I remember that after years and years of getting deeper and deeper, I began to sort of dread opening a new issue of Home School Digest, "The Quarterly Journal for Serious Home Schoolers ." (This was my favorite magazine ~ I often repri … [Read more...]