Remembering the “Birth Story” of NLQ

by VyckieBack in January of last year, I was checking out articles on Alternet ~ the progressive news site which my uncle Ron had introduced to me during that momentous year of our correspondence which I've come to think of as my "rehab" days ~ it was a year of waking up to the fact that my strict fundamentalism was not only unhealthy for me, but was also destroying my family, going through the withdrawal-like process of freeing my thought life from its narrow, black/white thinking patterns, getting clean of the "virus of the mind" which, in my own life, had been the "hard stuff" which numbed my brain and created illusions of happiness when reality was just too painful to deal with when com … [Read more...]

Looking Back: My Family 10 Years on From Fundamentalism

by AriettyThe past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. ~ L.P. Hartley, The Go-BetweenWhen looking back at my family during our days of patriarchal fundamentalism this opening line in the novel The Go-Between often comes to mind. In the last decade we have journeyed so far from where we once were we may have well have moved countries entirely. In the beginning of our journey we were like refugees, clinging to our past forms and beliefs while trying to figure out what part of this new culture wouldn't damage us. For we had read and been preached to and fervently believed that our now adopted culture--The World--was one of poison and sure death to family bonds and … [Read more...]

Barren

by CaluluOf all the things that happened during my ten years in the Quiverful movement I think that the one thing that caused me the most pain was my inability to bear children. Being infertile in a movement based upon the notion that God grants the righteous a full quiver of arrows led to all sorts of interesting assumptions by people that swore I was their Sister in Christ.Based upon the ways I was treated because of my fertility challenges I came to realize that my church ‘family’ was as dysfunction and rude as any family featured on a sleazy television talk show.I’d been an only child, growing up in a large home in south Louisiana.  My parents had an arranged marriage, which wasn’ … [Read more...]

An NLQ Christmas ‹(ô¿ô)›

by VyckieChristmas used to be a super big deal at our house.  I always went all out with way too many Christmas decorations, we baked cookies and made candy, we visited nursing homes, we went caroling... Oh, and the traditions ~ I incorporated every tradition I ever heard of into our Christmas celebration, and even invented a unique, and very touching tradition of my own.  Each year, we bought a nativity set and mailed out one piece per day to a specially-chosen family along with carols, coloring pages, and Christmas devotions related to the nativity character.  For instance, we might mail out one of the wise men with the music to "We Three Kings," a brief story explaining the meaning o … [Read more...]

Why Quiverfull Moms Do Not and Cannot Love Their Bodies

by VyckieI beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)For the past week and a half, NLQ has been presenting the excellent material in Tapati's Body Image Workshop.  As I've read through the posts and all the related comments on the NLQ forum, I've been thinking about how the Body Image issue is incredibly relevant to No Longer Quivering and the stories here of women who've left the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle.In theory, virtuous Quivefull moms do not have body image issues.  I say this because, of course, there is no "you" in qivering ~ in o … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Lines

by TapatiI remember the lines. You remember the lines. Team captains dividing us into the more or less worthy as we stood waiting for our doom. Nervous laughter accompanying some of the choices. The smell of perspiration pervading the gym as tension mounted and fewer of us remained to be chosen. No one wanted to be last. It was embarrassing enough to be among the last few. We would sell out our best friend rather than be chosen last. We promised God anything if only we would not be last.Sometimes the worst happened, and I would be the last one chosen. In that position I was supposed to act "cool," as if it didn't really matter to me. Over time, from this and other similarly humiliating … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: The View From Both Sides Of The Easel

by TapatiThe Model: Five years ago I would have laughed at the suggestion I might be doing nude modeling for an artist. Nothing could have been further from my mind. I was only beginning to work on changing my body image. I was just beginning to appreciate my wide hips, powerful buttocks, smallish breasts, and round belly with its network of stretch marks like ribbons of fine silk. The only parts of my body I had always liked were my blue-green eyes and my soft, thick brown hair.It was a major step just to go to a beach or a pool in a swimsuit. First I had to know that I deserve access to the water just as much as any thin person. Then I had to use that knowledge as a shield when I … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Day Four Assignment

by TapatiThis assignment is meant to be interactive. It is a guided visualization followed by discussion or journal writing. You can handle this either by having someone read it to you, going slowly enough for you to visualize, or you can record it and then play it back for yourself. Before you do the visualization exercise, please start by getting into a comfortable position and relaxing with some slow, deep breaths. The concept for this exercise originated with Marcia Hutchinson although I am writing this version myself. You should check out her book, Transforming Body Image, for this and other wonderful body image enhancing activities! … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Taking Care of Ourselves

by Tapati1) Make a list of ten things you would do if you really loved your body. Pick one and start doing it now. As you progress you can choose other things from the list. This is an especially powerful exercise for those women who have been waiting to do nearly everything "until I lose those pounds."2) Create a support system of friends who support you in loving the body you have now. You may find that your circle of friends shifts as you seek out people who are supportive and leave behind people who won't accept your limits on negative body talk or diet propaganda. This requires a commitment to yourself--you realize that you deserve acceptance and won't settle for less.3) Surround … [Read more...]

Tapati's Body Image Workshop: Day Three Assignment

by TapatiThis one can be a quick brainstorm for most of you--it's the second step that will take more time.Make a list of ten things you would like to do if you had your ideal body that you aren't doing now. Most of us do have a picture in mind of what our ideal body would look like--plus or minus x pounds, minus the scar, with a little more or less height, younger/older, different hair or features--and we imagine we'd be more confident and take more risks or do different things if we looked like our ideal image.In the case of illness or loss of certain abilities this can be more challenging, of course. There are literally some things you may not be able to do.Step 2 is to pick one … [Read more...]


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