Duggar-bashing

by VyckieThe comments on Hopewell's latest Duggar piece are particularly interesting to me ~ especially when compared to the reactions over at Free Jinger ~ Quiverfull of Snark, where the consensus seems to be that Hopewell graded the Duggars way too generously.What's important to notice about this article ~ and Nikita's comment really made this point ~ is that in delineating that very long, tedious 49-point list and giving the Duggar family a grade on how they measure up ~ it really highlights the tremendous amount of legalism, the impossibly high (and often warped) standards ~ and just how unrealistic this Quiverfull ideal is: Not even the Quiverfull Royalty ~ not even p … [Read more...]

49 Character Qualities of the Duggars: A Report Card

[Note: The point of this post is not about passing judgment on the Duggar family. The question is, does the lifestyle they endorse actually do what they say it will? Is it the perfect formula for a godly family? Or is what we’re seeing just a set of normal people striving within a very difficult way of living?This post examines the Duggars’ own lives within the paradigm they themselves endorse. Given that we only see what our televisions allow us to-- does what we can see, reflect the image held up to us? And if it does not, how can we be sure about what we can‘t see?No one expects the Duggars to be perfect. But that is not the question. The real question is: are they really showing us t … [Read more...]

Leaving the Fold

[Note: This piece was originally posted at "Enlightened Life."]by JesslynFive years ago, we commenced our homeschooling journey.  We were moderate christians, active in church and we believed in our faith wholeheartedly.  My 2 oldest were very interested in the solar system and dinosaurs and we spent a great part of that year learning about those subjects.  Our approach was purely scientific and secular.  I had a few moments of doubt (as a christian) about what we were learning but felt confident that “exposing” them to secular science was a good thing. As the years progressed and we traveled deeper into the homeschooling world, I was faced with some tough decisions.  None of the fam … [Read more...]

Debt-Free Duggars ~ Pt. 2: Quiverfull Royalty vs. Quivering Reality

Debt-Free Duggars ~ Pt. 1: How Quiverfull Couples Support All Those Kids! ... the rest of the story ...by HopewellViewers of the earliest Duggar TLC Specials [14 Children and Pregnant Again, 16 Kids and Moving In, etc] know that the Duggars have not always lived in a 7,000 square foot debt-free dream house.In fact, like many of today’s Quiverfull families, they lived very humbly for many years saving for that dream home. A 900 square foot home behind a used car lot on a busy highway is not an average Mother of 5 little children’s dream home! Yet Michelle put up with these cramped quarters—often hiding out in the bedroom with all the kids while Jim-Bob closed a car sale. Like many savvy … [Read more...]

Debt-Free Duggars ~ Pt. 1: How Quiverfull Couples Support All Those Kids!

by HopewellThe Duggar Income Stream [minus TLC] Before TLC and their reality TV show offer came on the scene, Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar were already on their way to financial security—a situation not normally found in homes with no college-educated adult. But, like the people profiled in the book the Millionaire Next Door, Jim-Bob and Michelle have always lived BELOW their means and have always had common sense about purchases. They also share a vision for the type of family life they wanted to lead. While Jim-Bob did hold a job, and a mortgage, at the time they married he soon realized this was not a sensible way to live. His love of buying cars, fixing them up himself, and reselling th … [Read more...]

"Husbands love your wives …" ~ the Peanut Butter in the Patriarchy trap!

My daughter, Berea, has mice in her new apartment ~ and this morning she asked on her Facebook status: WHAT DO MICE WANT?Answer: Peanut Butter! :)by VyckieI've lost track of how many times I have been told that the only reason wifely submission did not work out in my marriage was because I was married to a jerk.Recently, "Karebear" commented: I hope that you two understand that the groups/husbands that you were with were not practicing a Godly lifestyle. The bible does call women to be submissive to their husbands but it also calls men to love their wives .... And, the bible defines love as, not self-seeking, protective, kind ext....Another reader wrote: Husbands are commanded to … [Read more...]

Quiverfull Daughters: The Making of a Helpmeet

TLC's 19 Kids & Counting: The Duggar Family on How To Prepare For Courtship & Marriageby Hopewell“Helpmeet” is such an odd-sounding word to modern ears! But it resonates well in the lingo of the King James Bible. Girls born to Quiverfull families begin their training for the life’s calling as a Helpmeet [aka wife and homemaker] almost at birth.Girls are born for one and only one reason: to serve a husband. In that capacity, as his helpmeet, she will bear and raise his children, feed as many children as God sends on whatever income he earns, may raise a garden and animals or run a home-based business [with his approval], may home birth and will certainly homeschool all of her ch … [Read more...]

“So far …”

by VyckieRecently, my friend Heather, who is the pastor at the Salvation Army where I attend church, came over to help with yard work.  As we were pulling up weeds ~ some of which had grown as tall as me ~ my new neighbors, a young couple with a baby boy, came outside to work on their landscaping.Heather also has young children, and since she's super friendly, she used the connection as a conversation starter ... "How old is your baby?""Eight months," the new mom responded.Trying to keep the conversation going, Heather added, "I have two kids."... which sounded to my ears like an incomplete sentence. In my Quiverful Days (Q.D.), whenever we moms of many stated how many children we … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: The Atheist

by SierraWilla was an atheist. A self-styled “unschooler,” she attended homeschool conventions and activities with her two children, Alexis (9) and Steven (5), and it was there that she met my mother. Willa’s husband worked in a field that I knew only abstractly as something involving computers and sales. He was a passive, taciturn man with whom I never exchanged a single word. Their children were boisterous, especially Alexis. Willa attached herself to my mother very quickly. Since Alexis was my age, we were an automatic source of play dates, which often really amounted to tea parties for our mothers. Common interests seemed to abound at first: homeschooling, books, and bargains. Both ador … [Read more...]

When It's Time to Let Go of an Unhealthy Relationship

by VyckieIt seems crazy to me now ~ but the thought of divorcing Warren did not seriously enter my mind until three days before I went to my attorney and filed the paperwork.Even at the height of my exasperation, when I could clearly see that Warren's behavior with the children was abusive and was slowly, day by day, crushing their spirits and stunting/warping their emotional growth ~ divorce was NOT an option.Among evangelicals there's a popular quote from Ruth Bell Graham ~ wife of evangelist, Billy Graham: I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage ~ but, I did think of murder a few times. That was me too.  At one point, I was desperately praying to the Lord fo … [Read more...]


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