Changes

Changes by Calulu By now I'm sure you've noticed that I've started doing some of the posting of articles and am an admin on the NLQ message board. Why? Change is in the wind and change can be a good thing. As an artist I try to embrace change. We've all been through some heavy duty changes or we wouldn't even be on this site. To change is to grow. Recently I hurt my back, been suffering the aches of sciatica up and down both of my legs and in my back. Now in my old drinking the koolaid part-fundamental part-evangelical life I would have gone to my church's prayer warriors and they would have told me what they always told me when I got a terrible backache. They would tell me I … [Read more...]

Sons of Patriarchy

by Libby Anne Yes yes, I know I said it’s about the daughters, but it’s actually about the sons too, and here’s why: Christian Patriarchy may say its about creating the perfect godly family, but, at its heart, it’s about control. Yes, that sounds kind of harsh! Let me explain. In Christian Patriarchy, parents don’t let their children grow up and leave and make their own decisions. Instead, parents seek to control their adult children. The system only works if everyone stays in their place and does as told. The moment there is an independent thought or contrary life goal, it all falls apart. Where do the sons come into this? It’s simple. I have brothers, and while things have … [Read more...]

The Dead Village: Living With Disapproval

by Sierra Leaving quiverfull/patriarchal Christianity means losing approval. It means your parents, children, or spouse may reject you - or worse, implicitly disapprove while claiming to maintain a loving bond. That means that every time you talk, there's another dagger through your heart - the feeling that you'll never again have their respect (if you ever did in the first place) or be a whole person in their eyes (if you ever were). It almost certainly means your community evaporates like a holographic illusion. You walk away, and it's like you left behind a burning village with only ghosts pacing the streets. Sometimes they haunt you - follow you into your new life, reminding you at … [Read more...]

Reflections on what went wrong

by Jo @ Woman Reclaimed We're rapidly approaching the anniversary of when I lost my life as I knew it. I'm finally to a point where I feel strong enough to boldly face where we went, what went wrong and what we messed up so very badly. We fell down the rabbit hole of Patriarchal matrimony. We didn't necessarily mean to do so. Certainly, we never thought we were down so far as we truly were. We thought we didn't fully believe in wife-only submission. We thought we never believed that the wife's salvation is based upon the Husband's favor. In more ways than I ever understood until the journey of this last year, we did fall into the trap. Just in case anyone is wondering what my opinion on … [Read more...]

How To Keep Someone With You Forever

About a month ago, I came across this article:  How To Keep Someone With You Foreverfrom Issendai's Superhero Training Journal.  The message has been haunting me ever since because I believe it is so true of abusive, patriarchal relationships ~ and it was certainly the case in my own marriage. Quick summary: You create a sick system. A sick system has four basic rules: Rule 1: Keep them too busy to think. Rule 2: Keep them tired. Rule 3: Keep them emotionally involved. Rule 4: Reward intermittently. Wow, huh? I would love to post the entire article here as the author goes on to explain exactly how to set up such a system ~ and so much of it sounded all too familiar to me. For … [Read more...]

From the Library of Martyrdom ~ Part 2

How I was called to give up that which I did not have.. by Arietty In the years before the internet I relied on printed publications to nurture and sustain my life as a quiverfull homeschooling mom. It was within these publications that I found my own community in the Christian world, something which had eluded me before that. I read Family LIfe, Above Rubies, The Teaching Home,  Gentle Spirit and a variety of photocopied newsletters from families who had ministries of sending out newsletters. It was often frustrating to me that 3 weeks would go by with no new reading material in my mail box and then BOOM it would all arrive at once. I needed this Christian reading material. It was the … [Read more...]

From the Library of Martyrdom ~ Part 1

How I was called to give up that which I did not have.. by Arietty I began my journey into fundamentalism and a radical understanding of what it meant to be a mother via Above Rubies magazines. I was young, with an infant and toddler  and my life was very lonely and isolated, made more so by my increasingly hostile husband. One day my family and a few of my husband's friends took a long drive to the docks to see a visiting missionary ship. This ship sailed all over the world handing out free Christian literature and putting on evangelical presentations wherever it docked.   We had gone on a ship tour and I remember how the life on board seemed very appealing. The people living and … [Read more...]

Why Quiverfull Moms Do Not and Cannot Love Their Bodies

by Vyckie I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1) For the past week and a half, NLQ has been presenting the excellent material in Tapati's Body Image Workshop.  As I've read through the posts and all the related comments on the NLQ forum, I've been thinking about how the Body Image issue is incredibly relevant to No Longer Quivering and the stories here of women who've left the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. In theory, virtuous Quivefull moms do not have body image issues.  I say this because, of course, there is no "you" in qivering ~ in … [Read more...]

I’m beginning to understand male privilege ‹(ô¿ô)›

by Vyckie OMG ~ I am in such horrible pain! I guess part of what's got me feeling so cranky lately is that the pain which is focused in my hip and radiates over the whole left side of my body ~ from my fingers down to my ankle (oh ~ my elbow!) ~ is back. I used to live with this pain night and day for years and years, but not long after the divorce, when things started settling down for me so that I was no longer chronically stressed, it went away completely ~ and I finally felt good for the first time in over a decade. It's amazing how quickly I got used to feeling good ~ and after a year or more of not aching constantly ~ I am to the point that I actually EXPECT to feel good. So … [Read more...]

Santa vs. Satan

by Laura When I was growing up, my moms worked craft shows to support us kids. They often worked right through Christmas Eve and so we never celebrated Christmas actually on Dec. 25. We would usually have our Christmas celebration in the second week of January. That way my moms could take advantage of the awesome after Christmas sales available back then. It took the pressure off and I always felt like someone special when I told my friends that WE were celebrating Christmas on January 10th or what ever it was. The date was not important . The presents were! My moms always went all out. I remember going to bed and there would be nothing at all under the tree and then when I awoke...lo and … [Read more...]


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