Millipede: Part 20

drinkingalone

by Millipede "Little Bit" "Little Bit" a voice cut through my phone conversation. I told my friend that I would call her back and hung up the phone. I had relished being absolutely lazy on Sunday mornings; sleeping in and than taking it easy. My friend had called just after I had gotten out of the shower and I hadn't had time to really talk to my husband. What,I wondered, could be wrong? I found him trying to put a leash on our pet Rottweiler. She was jumping about, making it difficult to get the leash hooked up. That was business as usual, what caught my attention was the tone of my husband's voice. It sounded like he was drunk! Again, he hollered at Little Bit and this time I … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 19

straw

by Millipede My story continued; The Final Straw. Spring came and with it came another problem. After having been married so long, I figured that I had seen all of the "issues" that my husband had. The disregard for his health, the laziness, the ability to let his faults put us in dire circumstances. I thought I knew them all. Evidently not. Simply put, my husband had developed an alcohol problem. To backtrack, we had never been teetotalers. Even after having gotten involved in the Patriarchy movement, we never abstained from alcohol completely. While both churches had followed a lot of Fundamentalists doctrines, neither condemned alcohol use. In fact many of our church friends … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 18

drift

by Millipede I was willing to let bygones be bygones on the church issue. After all, my husband wasn't going to force the issue on me. There were other problems appearing on the horizon After such a great start following the bariatric surgery old habits were coming back . At first my husband noticed it and would make comments about how he needed to get out and do stuff. He quite going to the support group. It was during the winter and they had quit meeting for a couple of months due to the weather. When the weather got better, he claimed that the group hadn't started meeting and after that he never looked for another one. Worse, his meal portion sizes grew. It got to where the servings … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 17

steeple

by Millipede This time around it was different on the surface at least. My husband was trying a kinder and gentler approach to his faith. Rather than trying to make his wife follow behind him in the old Patriarchy Parade, my husband was content to go to church by himself. He did encourage me to go and on the infrequent occasions that I did, he would make a point of being considerate of me. Even so, I did not make plans to attend on a regular basis, even with my husband willing to leave when I was ready, it was usually about three in the afternoon when we left church. Given that it took over an hour to get there, the day was mostly over when we got home. Also, this pastor believed that … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 16

transformation

by Millipede My story continued....... We were free from the world of Patriarchal religion. On a personal level, I began to blossom. I was working outside the home, not only paying the bills, but able to save a little money here and there. Gradually, the trappings of the Patriarchal movement fell away. I stopped wearing the Prairie wear, in fact I stopped wearing dresses and skirts altogether. I started listening to Rock music and even started listening to Heavy Metal again. My husband was headed down another path. He was adrift, like a rudderless ship he had no direction. We had a few Sundays where we did some Scripture readings in an attempt to have a "home Church" but they … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 15

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by Millipede I watched in the oncoming month as my husband's church world came apart. Everything carried a taint of the break; sermons where a new point of view was explained, the fellowship afterwards that was a shadow of its former self. I watched as my husband hung back while our pastor conversed with the other families, the passing hours no longer found found my husband in a tight circle of men fervently talking theology. With the spell of close friendship broken, my husband started leaving early, sometimes within the hour after service. I felt sorry for him, it's sad to see someone's dream crash about them. On the other hand..... I couldn't wait to get out the door. Years of … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 14

divided

by Millipede There in some ways like that of the old church, but with a new twist all elders had to live within a certain distance of the town in which the new church was located. I think that it was 20 miles or something. It was along the lines of the members being close knit, of fellowshipping through the week As a side note- this was not like a cult, our pastor (I hate to use the same term over and over) for all his patriarchy, was not into hardcore control over the congregation. In the past, he was not the type to kick people out over arbitrary stuff. In fact, he really tried to avoid strife within the church. Although he believed in church authority he was not a very controlling … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 13

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by Millipede The new building had not materialized. The way that things were going, their might not be enough funds to acquire the building. Even so, our pastor continued on with his vision of a new church. I got the sense that even if it he had to go back to having church at home, he was going to create a new organization. It was at this point that we noticed something; my husband was no longer our pastor's confidant. Sure, our pastor would be friendly with my husband and if asked, he would discuss the new church with my husband. However, when the new building became available, he asked several other of the men to accompany him to the new building to see what they thought of it. My … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 12

couchpotato

by Millipede In truth, our Pastor was going through a period of soul searching. In the years that we first met him, certain issues had driven him into the Patriot movement which in turn had exposed him to different variants of Christianity. Now, not quite a decade later, his experiences had found him wanting. He liked our church and the people in it, but he had also seen a lot of people leave in a huff. The hair splitting, the people who shied away from organized churches; coming from a traditional fundamentalist background, he felt that most people in the Patriot movement wanted to be a law unto themselves. He felt that they were Christian only on the surface and that they used it to … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 11

millipede11

by Millipede Everything seemed to be righting itself, it was tough, but we were on our way. Things would be tight and they were somewhat different now. Seeing how my husband acted after losing his job had really struck a blow to our relationship. I had always known that my husband could be lazy and not given to "worrying about money". However, I had always thought that when the stakes were really high that even he would come through. Seeing how my husband reacted to his job loss changed all of that.The few attempts at even looking for a job ( two tries) and then sitting back and just being content to sell things until he ran out. I thought of all the sit down jobs for those with little … [Read more...]


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