An Affair with God

 by LauraAfter Dale returned from Brazil, he was not the same man. He hardly interacted with me or the children. He stopped sleeping with me, preferring the living room couch over our bed. He stopped praying with me which was something we did together every morning before we left our bedroom for at least 15 years. He stopped interacting with me on almost every level. He would go for long “prayer walks” every evening often returning after I had gone to bed. He would lay on his face on the floor for 2 hours in the morning and read his bible and pray.Sometimes, after his morning quiet time, he would come get in the bed with me to “cuddle”. I felt like he was throwing me an old bone. As if … [Read more...]


by LauraWe had some dear friends that gave us a video put out by New Tribes Missions (NTM) called “E-Etaow”. After viewing it, Dale felt like maybe God was calling him to go on a mission trip. So that summer he left for 6 weeks on a mission trip to Brazil with NTM and the kids and I ran the farm. My oldest was 15 and the baby was about 1 year old. I took care of the 9 kids and my son and I even put up a cutting of alfalfa almost all by our selves.Dale became friends with some of the missionaries there and he made trips to Brazil every year after that for the next 3 years. Once I went with him and then he took the older kids two at a time. He would be gone for 3 weeks or so in the dead o … [Read more...]

Babies, nursing and farming…Oh My….

by LauraDale and I looked for a place to raise our kids in the midwest. Land was affordable there and since we felt that going into debt was sinful, we could only buy what we could afford. We found what we thought was our “promised land” in Nebraska. We named our farm Canaan Farms after the land of Canaan mentioned in the Old Testament. God had given this land to his children during the Exodus from slavery in Egypt. We believed that God was giving us our farm and so hence the name. We left all our friends, family and all things familiar and headed out to Nebraska with our 3 young children. We knew absolutely no one in our new home except the realtor named Mac. We had no job, hardly any sa … [Read more...]

Dresses and dashed dreams…

by LauraDale and I had been married for 2 years when we had our first child. I was still very much of the mind that we should be responsible and have children when we saw fit. The idea of “letting God plan your family” seemed crazy to me. I mean, I was only 20 years old and I remember saying, “For crying out loud, if I did that, I would end up having 10 kids!!!” Actually, I have 11. The control issues started after the first few years of marriage. I remember my husband and I arguing over what kind of clothes I should wear. I mean the Bible does say in Deut. 22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man's clothing”. I guess that meant that I was commanded to wear dresses. But I hated wearing dresses. H … [Read more...]

In The Beginning…

 by Laura I was raised by two loving feminist women who happened to love eachother. My two moms never pushed any kind of religious view on me. We were culturally Jewish but we celebrated every holiday out there. Christmas, Chanukkah, Easter, Passover. We were all about being happy and celebrating our love for each other.As a child I always had a deep fear of death. I couldn't wrap my head around what happened to you once you died. It was a terrifying thing for me. I remember once, when I was about 5 or 6, running around the house, hysterically crying. When my mom caught hold of me, she wrapped her arms around me to comfort me and asked me what was wrong. I tearfully replied, “You are … [Read more...]