Sunday Challenge – How Has Your Self Body Image Changed?

challenge

Introducing the NLQ Sunday Challenge!What it's all about is you, you writing in and sharing your take on the topic picked for the week, sharing your hard earned wisdom with others. Just write up as little or as much as you feel like saying on that subject, email it to … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: Kung Fu Fighting

by TapatiEverybody was kung-fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning In fact it was a little bit frightning But they fought with expert timing –Carl DouglasWing Chun CharactersWhen I returned from my trip to see my family, I was relieved to be away from all of their drama. Mahasraya was happy to see me and we had a honeymoon period. He had given up on growing psychedelic mushrooms and we had the use of the bedroom. He slept in there alone because otherwise Lakshmana’s crying would keep him awake. He was working for the temple, guarding at night, so we still had the same graveyard schedule as before, waking up in the early afternoon.Now that he had his own income from guarding, th … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: Smiling Faces

Grandpa holding Lakshmanaby TapatiSmiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes They don't tell the truth Smiling faces, smiling faces Tell lies and I got proof --The Undisputed Truth, in Smiling Faces SometimesAunt Gin had a serious look on her face and I thought, “Uh oh. What now?”“I know your mom talked to you about your grandpa,” she began.Oh no. I knew where this was going. Mom had talked to me but I had tried to forget what she’d said. I just assumed it was more of her drama. It couldn't be true.“Maybe you didn’t believe her,” she continued. “I know you don’t always get along. But I can tell you that everything she told you … [Read more...]

Patriarch Across Cultures: Cat’s In The Cradle

Lakshmana visiting Great Grandma’s Houseby TapatiLakshmana and I had a long trip to reach our family. First we took TWA to St. Louis and then we had a two hour layover before we connected with a propeller jet that took us to Quincy, IL. Grandma met us at Quincy and drove us to Wayland where she and Grandpa had a log cabin behind their antique shop. Just down the street her sister, Dorothy, and brother-in-law, Wayne, had their own antique shop. On the sides of barns around the area one could see the sign “Two antique shops in Wayland.” Above my grandparents’ shop was a one bedroom apartment where my mother lived. When my mom came back from her trip to see me in L.A. she urgently needed a … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: Family Affair

by TapatiLakshmana at 4 monthsThe morning after I gave birth to my son, reality set in. I was so bruised inside I could hardly walk. I couldn’t get up from the floor using my own muscles without extreme pain so Mahasraya pulled me up as a dead weight. (I can’t say he never did anything nice for me!) That evening Srilekha and Mitravinda came over bearing food and supplies and I had to crawl over to the door to let them in. They did my laundry for me and brought me some hot food. This food was a godsend. They also gave me advice on the care of the umbilical cord stub and nursing, diaper changing and so on.I was so amazed that I had received this miraculous gift of a beautiful son. I had … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: Hard Day’s Night

by TapatiTapati January 1978It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log But when I get home to you I find the things that you do Will make me feel alright -- Lennon/McCartneyWe were still in the laundry room when I started having Braxton Hicks contractions more and more frequently. At about the same time my midwife, Manindra, let me know that she was moving to Hawaii and would be leaving shortly. This seemed rather sudden to me and I didn’t know what all was behind this move, but it made me anxious. I had just gotten to know her and was feeling confident about her skill. She told me that there was another … [Read more...]

I Have Won

by TapatiCrashing against the wall World spinning crazily Your voice from a distance Screaming in fury Self righteous condemnationAgain the blows come They seem to explode inside my head I don't see your fist in its journey towards my body.In defeat I huddle Arms over my head, shielding in vain Knees drawn up to chest I believe this is the end.Finally you finish Your anger and frustration relieved. Surprised to be alive I remain where I am, in shock.Slowly reason returns. I try to pull myself together Clutching the shreds of sanity-- Determined to survive.In bitterness I hear the pleas To forgive you one more time. Ignore the empty promises "It'll never happen again."I know … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: When The Levee Breaks

 by TapatiCryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.—Led Zeppelin version, original lyrics by Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie.Previously some friends had offered me shelter at their cabin in Big Bear, a mountain community. I said a tearful goodbye to my husband Mike—now known as Mahasraya following our initiation.Their cabin was cute and had an amazing view of the snowy landscape. The main living area contained the kitchen, dining room and living room in an open floor plan. I was to sleep downstairs where there was a separate bathroom. Jayasri and I enjoyed being two … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: What It’s Like To Sing The Blues

 by TapatiGod forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues--EverlastPreviously we had just received word that Mike’s mom had passed away. Mike wanted to go to her funeral but we were broke. We called his dad. It turned out he was nearby and he offered to take us to Chicago in his van. John said he felt bad for not being there while his son was growing up and that this was the least he could do. So we let Mike’s grandma Emma know we were on our way and drove off, all five of us crammed into their aging van, determined to make it to Chicago in three days, just in time for the services.We headed up through Nevada to High … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Acoss Cultures: From Generation to Generation

by Tapati    Grandpa Glen and Grandma Velma TallmanMy mother sounds like a horrible person as I write about her blocking my efforts to leave home, hitting me, and subsiding into depression and suicide. Of course there remains a stigma associated with mental illness and it’s difficult for most people to find compassion for people who act out when their illness is poorly managed. In the 1970s there weren’t any really good anti-depressants on the market and the ones offered to my mom came with some hefty side effects. Psychotherapy also wasn’t as sophisticated. I wonder how she would have responded to modern therapies but I can never know.Mom didn’t develop her illness in a vacuum. There i … [Read more...]


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