Brave New Life: Part 2 Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

phone

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a select few who we knew to be compassionate and supportive, but the next step was a whole different game. … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 1: Into the Unknown

winter-sonne

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series. Click here to read the introduction.Like I said in my coming out series, when at the end of 2011, we had realized that transition was going to happen, and that our beliefs were not really fitting in the church we were serving anymore, we knew we needed to move on. … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Introduction

apples

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission To LiveOnce upon a time there were two girls. One was very sad most of the time, she kept her head down and did what she was told, because she could not imagine ever being strong enough to do anything different. She hardly knew what it meant to dream, to have goals and ambitions, because her life was already mapped out for her by others, she just had to follow the rules and be the person she was supposed to be. … [Read more...]

No Blurred Lines

stop

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission To LiveWe were picking up toys in the living room, and the radio switched to Robin Thicke’s song “blurred lines.” After a minute I walked over and changed the station, MS Action stopped her be-bopping and asked “Why’d you turn off that song mom? It’s good for dancing.” … [Read more...]

You Are You (And that’s Beautiful)

haley

by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission To LiveWe had just moved to a new state, and a new city. Haley had been officially living as herself and presenting as female full-time for only a few days. We made the chilly trek with the kids out to the store to pick out cell phones and sign up for a plan.The person helping us was polite and sweet. He had long dark hair and a delicate face, after we clarified who was Melissa and who was Haley, he put out his hand and said brightly “So nice to meet you! My name is..” and then stuttered and seemed to glance down at the nametag attached to his shirt, finishing quietly “… John.”  We got our phones, and left the shop, but both Haley and I … [Read more...]

A Family’s a Family No Matter How Non-Traditional

Melissa & Haley

by Vyckie GarrisonWhile in Minneapolis this week, I went out for dinner with Joe Sands (Incongruous Circumspection) and his wife, Kristine Sands. It was a true pleasure to hang out with this fun couple - I ♥ awesome people. Yay! (✿◠‿◠)Also, while in Minneapolis, I had the privilege to spend most of a day with Melissa (Permission To Live) and her spouse, Haley.Having never personally known any transgender people, I will admit to being quite curious to meet Haley in person - and now that I know her, all I can say is, Wow - she rocks! What a delight to spend time in the company of an energetic, super smart, and truly happy, beautiful woman.If you have not read the story of … [Read more...]

To Stand Up and Speak: The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blog Network

by Melissa Permission to LiveMy sister was the one who introduced me to No Longer Quivering. She didn’t actually mean to, she told me she was reading a website called Quivering Daughters, and when I googled it I found No Longer Quivering instead. I wanted to make sure that this was a good thing for a Christian to read, and so I looked around for what the conservative Christian community was saying about the website, and read that the founder of the site was a raving atheist and a lesbian. Of course neither claim was true, I believe at that point Vyckie Garrison was only questioning her faith, and even though she now considers herself an atheist, I have never experienced to her to b … [Read more...]

Submission and Prison Cells: Part 2

by Melissa Permission to Live Click here for Part OneLet me start by saying a sincere “I am sorry” to “Yellowbunnys” (whoever she was, and wherever she is now) and to all the other women I shamed that day. I was wrong. I was arrogant. I was hurtful.It is painful for me to even read what I believed then, much less how I judged others and tried to force them to believe it too.At the time I wrote that, I was barely getting past Post-Partum Depression with my first baby, and was about to be hit with a second wave of it after the birth of my second. I struggled to fulfill my self-imposed idea of perfection, but believed that any and all of the seeming problems with the submissi … [Read more...]

Submission and Prison Cells: Part 1

cells

by Melissa Permission To LiveAlmost five years ago, I was a devout conservative Christian. I had been married over two years, had a toddler Ms Action running around and a baby Ms Drama due in a few months. I loved my spouse beyond what I had ever thought love was when we first got married, and I still dutifully tried to keep the house immaculate and dinner on the table by the time he walked in the door. I read lots of books on marriage and childrearing, and I gave some of them away too. I remember in particular giving away copies of “To Train up a Child” and “Be Fruitful and Multiply”. I did my best to live up to the ideas I found in the Bible, the Christian books and magazines I read, an … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Questioning, Q. 2

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryPlease be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.  What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience?Joe:I can’t put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and fundamentalist C … [Read more...]


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