A Family’s a Family No Matter How Non-Traditional

by Vyckie GarrisonWhile in Minneapolis this week, I went out for dinner with Joe Sands (Incongruous Circumspection) and his wife, Kristine Sands. It was a true pleasure to hang out with this fun couple - I ♥ awesome people. Yay! (✿◠‿◠)Also, while in Minneapolis, I had the privilege to spend most of a day with Melissa (Permission To Live) and her spouse, Haley.Having never personally known any transgender people, I will admit to being quite curious to meet Haley in person - and now that I know her, all I can say is, Wow - she rocks! What a delight to spend time in the company of an energetic, super smart, and truly happy, beautiful woman.If you have not read the story of … [Read more...]

To Stand Up and Speak: The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blog Network

by Melissa Permission to LiveMy sister was the one who introduced me to No Longer Quivering. She didn’t actually mean to, she told me she was reading a website called Quivering Daughters, and when I googled it I found No Longer Quivering instead. I wanted to make sure that this was a good thing for a Christian to read, and so I looked around for what the conservative Christian community was saying about the website, and read that the founder of the site was a raving atheist and a lesbian. Of course neither claim was true, I believe at that point Vyckie Garrison was only questioning her faith, and even though she now considers herself an atheist, I have never experienced to her to b … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 9: Starting a New Life

by Permission to LiveThis post is the final post in a series. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It’s the spring of 2012 now, and we’ve moved to a new home in a new city and are making new friends and starting over. We’ve officially left the ministry and are making new career plans. My spouse has begun transition and she has been able to go by her new name and female pronouns publicly now after using them at home for months. Only now there is no second guessing over what she can wear when we go out. There is no tripping over which name to use. It’s only been a few months, but she has said “I’m so happy!” with enough frequency that it has actually gotten downright … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 8: Coming Out, Bit by Bit

by Permission to Live  This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It was getting harder and harder for my spouse to put on a masculine facade when we went out. At home, after all, he was able to just be himself. It was also starting to feel awkward referring to him as a “he.” The pronouns just didn’t fit anymore. Other people started to notice too. When we went down to visit family over the summer we had several different family members ask if my spouse was gay. Apparently being a feminine male-presenting person attracts attention.The summer of 2011 was significant in another way too. I had arranged to meet up with a friend … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 7: Charting a New Course

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It had been a year since my spouse had come out to me. It felt like it had been much longer. So much had changed and yet nothing had changed. We still hadn’t decided how Christianity tied in with our changing reality: I was leaning further and further away from the idea of God but my spouse still believed. We felt like there were no real answers anymore. Life was not as black and white as people wanted it to be. My spouse was talking more and more about transitioning and I felt like there was no one-size-fits-all in gender identity. Maybe my spouse would become c … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 6: Talk of Transition

This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Even though we had hoped that it would be enough for my spouse to simply be more authentic to his feminine self, it seemed that the idea of transition was coming up more and more. My spouse talked about how frustrating it was to have this battle raging in his head every single day, his brain telling him again and again that he was really a woman. He told me how the idea of becoming an old man terrified him. It was bad enough being trapped in the body of a young man, but to be old and helpless and cared for by people who would treat him as a guy was dreadful to him. Sometimes he cried, all … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 5: The Beauty of Acceptance

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.It was the end of 2010. I was starting to question the existence of God while my spouse was as Christian as ever. Sometimes I did not understand how he could keep believing in a God who had made him this way and then said that he couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t understand how it was god-honoring for a person to live their life “the way god wanted them too” while being miserable and secretly hoping that they would get into an accident somehow that would force the removal of the hormone producing organs that caused them so much mental anguish. The thought r … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 3: A Growing Up Story

by Permission to LiveBefore I go any further I just want to make it clear that my spouse has participated in the writing and editing of this series, and has given their full support and approval of it's publication.This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Over the next number of months it seemed that we talked about transgender questions and issues constantly. My spouse had been unable to talk about this for so long and now it was like a floodgate had opened. He told me about how he had always felt different, that even as a small child he wished he could play with some of the girls’ toys and wondered why he couldn’t have … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 2: Research 101

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.The next day started out the same as pretty much any other day. We had breakfast, and my Hunnie went out to the office. But unlike an average weekday, as soon as he left, I put in a movie for the kids, plunked the baby into the bouncer and rushed to the computer. I hardly knew where to start; it was all so unknown to me. I typed in “what is transsexual?” and sat there staring at the screen. My gut reaction to new things was to learn as much as I could, and I had a lot to figure out. In fact, I spent the next few weeks doing constant research; it was pretty much all … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 1: A Secret Revealed

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.As many of you know, my spouse and I got married young after a short parent-supervised courtship. We began our marriage “the right way” according to everything we believed. We had obeyed our parents and stayed pure from emotional relationships or sexual activity, so when we got married neither of us had ever been intimate with any other person. We were wholeheartedly committed to our Christian beliefs at that time, feeling certain that birth control was wrong in almost any circumstance and that men should be the family leaders and women should be submissive. My hus … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X