Quiverfull Mother

by Libby Anne Quiverfull mother, I don't question your choice, Only that of your daughter. Look at her there, knee deep in laundry, Cooking and cleaning, Changing diapers by the dozen With no life of her own. You made your choice. What of hers? Quiverfull mother, You teach your daughter To cook and to clean, To sew, knit, and brew herbs, Yet deprive her of the education She would need for any other life. You circumscribe her options. You had a choice - What of her? Quiverfull mother, You make a servant of your daughter, Scrubbing and washing, And raising your children. You rob her of her childhood, Of time spent with friends And carefree days in the sun. Remember, … [Read more...]

My Courtship Story ~ Part 7: I Do

by Young Mom @ Permission to Live We spent most of our time together at our family homes, so we also spent a lot of our time together trying to evade family. Since we were engaged we were allowed to go on short excursions alone to public places. So we ran errands for the wedding, like picking up my wedding dress after the alterations were finished, or running to the mall to pick out "Hunk"’s wedding band. When we were around my house, we went for lots of walks together, and I even took him up to my secret spot on the garage roof where we could be alone. At the end of June (about 3 weeks out from the wedding) I went on another trip with "Hunk" and his family. We all flew out to spend a … [Read more...]

My Courtship Story ~ Part 6: The Countdown

by Young Mom @ Permission to Live Hunk and I and our parents set the wedding date that same night. He was going to graduate school (3 hours away) that August, and we both knew that we did not want to risk our parents nixing a wedding before next summer. A wedding over Christmas or spring break sounded complicated, and we both knew that he would be distracted from his schoolwork driving down to see me. Secretly I felt that I would go insane if I had to go days and days without seeing him. After a few calls to family members who lived some distance away, we settled on a date in July, eight short weeks away. I now had a ring on my finger, and people who knew me at violin classes were … [Read more...]

My Courtship Story ~ Part 1: Listen for the Singing

by Young Mom @ Permission to Live I begged my Mom to let me go to high school when I was 14. She was shocked by my request. How could I fail to appreciate all the time they had invested in homeschooling me, she told me how the school system was filled with evil, and how easy it was for a young girl to get taken advantage of. She promised that if I worked hard to finish my schoolwork, I would be able to go to college anyways, so why bother wasting my time in high school? I gave up. At the age of almost 16, I was allowed to go to a small “homeschool” college that was holding it’s first ever summer camp for teens. The camp had strict rules about dress code and interaction with … [Read more...]

Crushing Daisies ~ Ways in Which Patriarchal Fundamentalism Harms Its Children ~ Part 1: Work, Work, Work!

by Daisy Note: This post is part one of a series that originally appeared at my now defunct blog A Dragonfly Diary sometime in 2010. It has been updated slightly for publishing here but mostly left as it was. Because of this, this post reflects my attitude at the time of writing when I still felt a strong connection to Christianity. I'd also like to note that I'm not suggesting it is necessary to leave one's husband or faith in order to find happiness. That's just my story. *** Work, work, work! Recently I caught the tail-end of the US-made Wife Swap program. The father in one home was a real stick-in-the-mud and a big believer in strictly 'training' his children. How I cringed to watch … [Read more...]

The Beautiful Girlhood Doll ~ Part 5: Home & Hospitality

by Libby Anne   One of the defining qualities of beautiful girlhood is a love for home and hospitality. A young girl watches her mother and looks forward to the day when she, too, will have a family. While other girls are driven by wanderlust, the hospitable girl finds true contentment at home. I loved being at home, and I never wanted to be anywhere else. My home was my father’s castle, and I loved it. While some of my siblings sometimes chaffed at not being allowed to go out and do things with their friends like other children, it never bothered me one bit. I would have rather stayed home anyway. Because my parents believed work was good for children and because there was so much … [Read more...]

The Beautiful Girlhood Doll ~ Part 4: Enthusiasm & Industry

by Libby Anne   Proverbs tells us that a virtuous woman "works with her hands with delight," and "does not eat the bread of idleness." The truly beautiful girl is one who sees her life as a mission of service. What others view as a burden, she views as a blessing and opportunity. I was nothing if not hard working. I often completed all of my school work before lunch, so that I could then turn to reading, sewing, or any of a number of other hobbies. School was something I excelled at, and my parents were proud of me. I studied advanced science and math and loved learning languages. Of course, as much as my parents valued academics, I knew there were other areas a young woman must excel in … [Read more...]

The Beautiful Girlhood Doll ~ Part 3: Femininity & Grace

by Libby Anne The truly beautiful girl is one who radiates that inner grace which only comes from the confidence in being a woman of God. She enjoys dressing like a lady and being about the business of women. Because of this, others think of her with respect. Her very comportment communicates a gentle, gracious spirit. My siblings and I learned early on that boys and girls had separate roles in life. Boys were to be protectors and providers and girls were to be mothers and homemakers. Mom taught my sisters and me that women might work outside the home before marriage, but not afterwards. Mom told us that when she was a kid, she had always been told that she could be a mommy and something … [Read more...]

Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World ~ Part 6: Soul-Binding

[Note: this series is dedicated to Quivering Daughtersby the former-Quiverfull moms at No Longer Quivering.] by Daisy My name is Daisy. I am a good person...but I was a bad parent. Tragically, by choosing QF/patriarchal fundamentalist methodology as the pattern for my home, believing that it would provide the very best insurance against messing up with parenthood, I messed up. I messed up badly. I hurt my kids and, worse, I silenced them when they tried to tell me about it. Criticizing your parents is, of course, disrespectful and therefore opening a dangerous door that may lead a child ultimately to rebelling against God - and as I believed that put my child in danger of hellfire, of … [Read more...]

Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World ~ Part 4: Acknowledgement & Apologies

[Note: this series is dedicated to Quivering Daughters by the former-Quiverfull moms at No Longer Quivering.] In this part of our series, the ex-QF moms of NLQ are speaking directly to our own Quivering Daughters ~ though we've already said our apologies in person, we want to acknowledge the abuse we inflicted on our children publicly for their sake, though we're doing it anonymously out of respect for their privacy. Trigger warning: As painful it has been for us to write these confessions down ~ it may be even tougher for the Quivering Daughters who were on the receiving end of our neglect and abuse to read. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* My children were everything to me. I remember … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X