Toddlerhood: Part 3 – Accidents

by MariAccidentsI was an accident-prone child.When I was somewhere between two and 3 years old, I had my first ER experience.I had been playing with an older cousin who was holding me by the arms and spinning me around in circles. It was fun. Lots of fun.I imagine myself all giggles, begging for more-Until I found myself flying through the air and then falling to the ground with a thud.I don’t remember much about that incident. I was taken to the ER where I had an X-ray of my arm done. They asked me if I could put my arm above my head and I thought about it and said no. I hadn’t tried to move my arm after the incident, and I didn’t want to try at the hospital eit … [Read more...]

Mama’s Choice – Part 6: Inception

by Vyckie GarrisonEver since I watched the movie, Inception, I've wanted to shout to the world, Wow - that happened to me! And here I thought Quiverfull was my own idea all along!!If you haven't seen the movie, here's a quick summary: "Inception" is the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious. A thief, who possesses the ability to project himself deep inside the subconscious of a victim's mind in order to steal their ideas, is hired to reverse the process - he must plant an idea so skillfully that the subject will act against his own best interests and according to another man's wishes, all the while, firmly believing that his choice to do so is … [Read more...]

Toddlerhood: Part 2

by Mari ChristmasMom’s family had a big ol’ family reunion at Christmas that year. My great-grandma turned 80 two days before Christmas and my family threw a big party. Everybody showed up.I don’t know a lot about this party, but from memories I’ve pieced together, I get the impression that we had a little variety show in honor of Grandma’s birthday. I remember my mom’s cousin doing a little ventriloquism act, and the whole family stood up front and sang “How Great Thou Art.” (I found both creepy. I don’t remember a lot from my very young years that wasn’t scary.)We tried to get pictures of each family posing with Great-grandma that year.The picture my mom gave me from this end … [Read more...]

Toddlerhood: Part 1

by Mari Davie Somewhere between my first and second birthdays, I got hair. Like, actual hair. I sported that reddish fuzz for roughly 19 months. Then, all of a sudden, I had two little boy cousins, another brother and…. hair. Soft, blonde, wavy hair.But my hair isn’t that important in this chapter.Let’s talk about David.David was born 2 years, 2 weeks and 2 days after me. I have an adorable picture of me holding that bundle of irritation for the first time. I loved that baby! I’ve been told that when Grandma was going to change his pants one day, I said, “NO! I’m going to do it! He’s MY brother.”I was two.It didn’t take me too long to figure out that MY brother was nothi … [Read more...]

The (Polished) Lives of Others

by Broken DaughtersI remember dreaming about life the way I had seen it in those P/QF books and magazines and occasional home making blogs. It’s funny because it was never that way at our house. But I always thought that one day, I would live one of those beautiful lives.I’d have a pantry filled with homemade juices and marmalade and sauces and relishes. I’d have a beautiful, antique and yet modern kitchen. I’d have a great view from my kitchen windows, and I’d wear a beautiful apron. I’d be… hm. One of those fairytale housewives, I guess.My life would be quiet, relaxed. I’d be busy decorating a beautiful home, not really worrying about money and how to get by. My husband would be … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates in Order to Control

by LatebloomerThis is part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here. Read criticism #3 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abusive habits.  My third criticism look … [Read more...]

Before There Was Me: Part 4

by MariAnd Then There  Were TwoMy second brother, Andrew was born nearly two years after Jonathan.Today, I’d say my favorite part about Andy is that he’s daddy to a special little 2-year old girl and a precious 3-week old baby girl. And of course, husband to a wonderful lady.Another thing I love about him is that he knows everything there is to know about air conditioners. This came in very handy about a month ago when I was in the market for one.But that is today.Andy is a typical “middle child.” I could go into a lot of family dynamics about how this works, but I’ll spare you. It’s true that middle children seek outside relationships more than oldest or youngest ch … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #2: An Extremely Controlling Parent

by LatebloomerTo briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  Now here is my second criticism.Criticism #2:   Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child's mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood.  Reb Bradley is very straightforward about what he considers the primary task of a parent.  Several times throughout the book, he reminds parents that their goal is to subdue their child's will: "keep your objective in mind - subjection of the … [Read more...]

News Links September 5, 2012

Sometimes churches need to be reminded that if they campaign for a certain party or candidate they put their tax exempt status at risk - ChicoER - Editorial: Church runs afoul of rulesThere's an interesting article by Jenny Rae Armstrong over at Red Letter Christians about Patriarchy, Pop Culture, and PornograpyThoughts on handling a large family after leaving Quiverfull Patriarch world far behind. Recovering from Religion - When the Grass Looks Greener Elsewhere- Be Sure the Fertilizer Works in Your Yard!And for anyone that needs a reminder of poisonous and destructive Patriarchy and Quiverfull beliefs can be just one quick read through the Duggar-approved 7 Basic Needs of a … [Read more...]

Before There Was Me

by Mari(Editors note: Please join me in welcoming the newest member Mari of the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network. Mari will be telling her story here starting with her mother. Thanks for joining us Mari!)My mom spent her childhood in south central North Dakota and north central South Dakota. I’m not clear on the details of her childhood, but I do know that they lived on at least two different properties in North Dakota, but she attended church and graduated from high school in the little town of Pollock, South Dakota.Pollock is a beautiful place. Not because of scenery or landscaping, but because the ideals, the mindset, and the sense of community are beautiful. It’s like go … [Read more...]