In The Spotlights Glare – Are The Duggar Family & The Bates Family Media Whores?

beforeafter

by CaluluAnother television season is upon us again and that means one thing. More of the Duggars "19 Kids and Counting". The show starts anew on Tuesday, August 28th on TLC Channel at 9 pm est. This year their friends theBates have a show too - "The United Bates of America" There are preview videos for both series up now on the TLC website.Looking through both videos I have noticed one thing, both families have changed a great deal in the short time they've been in the spot light. Which is ironic considering how Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have stated from the beginning that they are to be a light shining out to the world, a shining city on the hill. That's not quite what I'm … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: Does Patriarchy Glorify God?

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer  Q: As a Quiverfull couple, we practice headship and submission to strengthen our marriage and bring glory to God.  But you are saying that Patriarchy hurts the husband and belittles God.  Please explain.What does “glorify” mean when we’re talking about God?  A simple definition can be found in what we commonly mean when we say a person is “seeking glory.”  It means that person wants the credit for good things that have happened, and to be honored for those things.  To glorify God is to seek glory not for ourselves, but for God– to act in ways that point to God, that give God the credit for good things in our lives and the honor that comes from t … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 23

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by MillipedeThe moment of truth came one Saturday night. No surprises there. Of course, my husband had decided to have something to drink. I abstained of course, someone would have to be ready to call 911. Even though the any possible seizure would not occur until the following day, a 400+ pound man could get into a lot of trouble if he fell of his chair during a nodding phase. Plus, who knows, this time the seizure might come earlier.Things were going well as expected. The slurring had started just a bit and my husband nodded off only once. off had. My husband mixed another drink which he said would be his last of the night.I watched with relief as he finished the cup. We had … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 22

by MillipedeAmidst all the craziness with the alcohol, there was yet another worrying development which had crept up.As I mentioned before, my marriage had developed two fronts;one being my husband's self destructive propensities and the second which came later, that being his embrace of religious Patriarchy. The booze crisis came in with a flash, but that didn't mean that trouble wasn't brewing on the ol' Patriarchy front.Despite his new alcohol problem, my husband remained devoutly involved with the church. It was bitterly ironic and a testament to his hypocrisy, but it didn't stop my husband. In fact, I noticed the return of an old attitude, the one where he was lord over the … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: Are Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar “Quiverfull”?

by HopewellQ: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular mother … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 18

drift

by MillipedeI was willing to let bygones be bygones on the church issue. After all, my husband wasn't going to force the issue on me.There were other problems appearing on the horizon After such a great start following the bariatric surgery old habits were coming back . At first my husband noticed it and would make comments about how he needed to get out and do stuff. He quite going to the support group. It was during the winter and they had quit meeting for a couple of months due to the weather. When the weather got better, he claimed that the group hadn't started meeting and after that he never looked for another one. Worse, his meal portion sizes grew. It got to where the servings … [Read more...]

An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

unmasking

by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 13 – Finis

by CaluluLet's recap: Tom Smith has just spent something like nearly fifteen years meddling in my life under the guise of 'Christian Brotherhood' and we'd just left the church we attended with him for a mainstream denomination in our town. He'd led the villagers in a figurative angry mob with torches against us to try and make my husband and myself return to our old church. There was no turning back at this point....The angry emails proclaiming fire, brimstone and angry celestial judgment started to ease off till after a few years there were only a few every six months or so. The rumors getting back to me about myself were becoming very less frequent even if some of those I had … [Read more...]

The Hangover – Adventures in Recovery

hangover

by CaluluIt seems in spite of our attempts to be completely free of what we've suffered at our old church there are some issues that linger, things we need to deal with. Some of those things involve the relationship between my husband and myself. Hangovers.First allow me to say this is not one disgruntled woman bitching about her significant other, rather this me talking about the day to day in dealing with a false belief my husband still harbors from our days as fundigelicals. There are many wonderful qualities my spouse possesses I am grateful for every day. He's kind to others, he's smart, he's educated, he's outgoing in contrast to my quieter self. I once watched him sit outside … [Read more...]


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