Millipede Part 22

by MillipedeAmidst all the craziness with the alcohol, there was yet another worrying development which had crept up.As I mentioned before, my marriage had developed two fronts;one being my husband's self destructive propensities and the second which came later, that being his embrace of religious Patriarchy. The booze crisis came in with a flash, but that didn't mean that trouble wasn't brewing on the ol' Patriarchy front.Despite his new alcohol problem, my husband remained devoutly involved with the church. It was bitterly ironic and a testament to his hypocrisy, but it didn't stop my husband. In fact, I noticed the return of an old attitude, the one where he was lord over the … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: Are Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar “Quiverfull”?

by HopewellQ: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular mother … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 18

drift

by MillipedeI was willing to let bygones be bygones on the church issue. After all, my husband wasn't going to force the issue on me.There were other problems appearing on the horizon After such a great start following the bariatric surgery old habits were coming back . At first my husband noticed it and would make comments about how he needed to get out and do stuff. He quite going to the support group. It was during the winter and they had quit meeting for a couple of months due to the weather. When the weather got better, he claimed that the group hadn't started meeting and after that he never looked for another one. Worse, his meal portion sizes grew. It got to where the servings … [Read more...]

An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

unmasking

by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 13 – Finis

by CaluluLet's recap: Tom Smith has just spent something like nearly fifteen years meddling in my life under the guise of 'Christian Brotherhood' and we'd just left the church we attended with him for a mainstream denomination in our town. He'd led the villagers in a figurative angry mob with torches against us to try and make my husband and myself return to our old church. There was no turning back at this point....The angry emails proclaiming fire, brimstone and angry celestial judgment started to ease off till after a few years there were only a few every six months or so. The rumors getting back to me about myself were becoming very less frequent even if some of those I had … [Read more...]

The Hangover – Adventures in Recovery

hangover

by CaluluIt seems in spite of our attempts to be completely free of what we've suffered at our old church there are some issues that linger, things we need to deal with. Some of those things involve the relationship between my husband and myself. Hangovers.First allow me to say this is not one disgruntled woman bitching about her significant other, rather this me talking about the day to day in dealing with a false belief my husband still harbors from our days as fundigelicals. There are many wonderful qualities my spouse possesses I am grateful for every day. He's kind to others, he's smart, he's educated, he's outgoing in contrast to my quieter self. I once watched him sit outside … [Read more...]

The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: A Gendered Childhood Part 1

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — A Gendered ChildhoodQuestion 1: How many siblings did you grow up with? Did responsibilities in your family differ by gender, with the girls having certain chores and the boys having others? Explain.Joe:My Mama was a very unique woman.  I’ll explain in a bit.  But first, I was the dead middle child of seven siblings.  The oldest was a girl, then twin boys, then me, then two more girls, and finally, the baby of the family, a boy.  If you’re familiar with any movies or television shows, you might see that it is regularly portrayed that siblings hate each other.  Especially boys hating on girls and the other way around.  Due … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 11

millipede11

by MillipedeEverything seemed to be righting itself, it was tough, but we were on our way. Things would be tight and they were somewhat different now. Seeing how my husband acted after losing his job had really struck a blow to our relationship. I had always known that my husband could be lazy and not given to "worrying about money". However, I had always thought that when the stakes were really high that even he would come through. Seeing how my husband reacted to his job loss changed all of that.The few attempts at even looking for a job ( two tries) and then sitting back and just being content to sell things until he ran out. I thought of all the sit down jobs for those with little … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Living the Life Part 1

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryPlease be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.  Question 1: What sort of a church did your family go to while you were growing up? Were the other families who attended the church also involved in the Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull movement?Joe:Before my parents divorced in 1987, we attended an American Lutheran Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA.  It was … [Read more...]


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