The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 15

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by MillipedeI watched in the oncoming month as my husband's church world came apart. Everything carried a taint of the break; sermons where a new point of view was explained, the fellowship afterwards that was a shadow of its former self. I watched as my husband hung back while our pastor conversed with the other families, the passing hours no longer found found my husband in a tight circle of men fervently talking theology. With the spell of close friendship broken, my husband started leaving early, sometimes within the hour after service.I felt sorry for him, it's sad to see someone's dream crash about them. On the other hand.....I couldn't wait to get out the door. Years of … [Read more...]

Revisiting NLQ FAQ: Should There Be a “You” in Quivering?

What “Deny Yourself” Means – and Doesn’t Mean by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer The founders of No Longer Qivering spelled “Quivering” without a “u“ because, as they say, “There is no ‘you’ in Quivering” – there’s no place for self - and they claim this is a bad thing. But Jesus said that a true believer must deny himself, take up his cross and follow after Him. Quiverfull women take the Bible’s admonition to die to self very seriously. We use the acronym J.O.Y., for true JOY comes from putting “Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last.” How can you encourage Christian wives and mothers to turn from Christ’s teachings by making “You” a priority?The problem with the way Quiverf … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 14

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by MillipedeThere in some ways like that of the old church, but with a new twist all elders had to live within a certain distance of the town in which the new church was located. I think that it was 20 miles or something. It was along the lines of the members being close knit, of fellowshipping through the weekAs a side note- this was not like a cult, our pastor (I hate to use the same term over and over) for all his patriarchy, was not into hardcore control over the congregation. In the past, he was not the type to kick people out over arbitrary stuff. In fact, he really tried to avoid strife within the church. Although he believed in church authority he was not a very controlling … [Read more...]

Gloating and Slander: Michael Pearl, Nancy Ann Wilson and Christian Fundamentalist Responses to Criticism

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by Sierra(Editor's note: Many of our NLQ writers have sounded off on this situation. To see more visit Libby Anne, and Incongruous Circumspection. There are others who've also written of what happened that are worth checking out - Rachel Held Evans, The Friendly Atheist, Sarah Over The Moon,  Dianna Anderson, and Are Women Human.)Femina has been lighting up like a Christmas tree since The Gospel Coalition blog post that threw Doug Wilson into the spotlight for arguing that egalitarian sexual relationships were unnatural and that if “authority and submission” aren’t honored in sex, men turn to rape to fulfill their animal urges.Now Wilson’s wife, Nancy Ann, has joined the fray: 10 … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 12

by CaluluI think I cried off and on for a solid eighteen months after we switched churches. It was difficult. What made it even worse was the fact that Tom Smith had apparently told everyone in the Del/Mar/Va area that a) we weren't believers any longer, b) we went to a church of homosexual abortionists and c) we were going to hell. He had said this so long and so loudly that when I tried to keep up with friendships from the old church I was told things like what my friend Dana said.Dana and I had roomed together at conferences. We'd hosted each others kids to conferences. We were like sisters. I took her son on an international vacation with us for several weeks and my son and … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 13

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by MillipedeThe new building had not materialized. The way that things were going, their might not be enough funds to acquire the building. Even so, our pastor continued on with his vision of a new church. I got the sense that even if it he had to go back to having church at home, he was going to create a new organization.It was at this point that we noticed something; my husband was no longer our pastor's confidant. Sure, our pastor would be friendly with my husband and if asked, he would discuss the new church with my husband. However, when the new building became available, he asked several other of the men to accompany him to the new building to see what they thought of it. My … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 11

by CaluluI went home crying, shocked that my pastor had gone back on his word like that. It was a betrayal that left me reeling emotionally. Cried for days feeling a sense of deep betrayal. The pastor was quiet that week, no emails or phone calls.I told my husband that I thought the time was right for me to join him at the other church and that I had no intention of going back to the old church as a member ever again. He was the recipient that afternoon of quite a few emails from Tom Smith telling him that he was dicing with his very salvation by attending this main stream denomination filled with homosexual abortionists.Fast forward a week. Hubby and I both agree that the best … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 12

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by MillipedeIn truth, our Pastor was going through a period of soul searching. In the years that we first met him, certain issues had driven him into the Patriot movement which in turn had exposed him to different variants of Christianity.Now, not quite a decade later, his experiences had found him wanting. He liked our church and the people in it, but he had also seen a lot of people leave in a huff. The hair splitting, the people who shied away from organized churches; coming from a traditional fundamentalist background, he felt that most people in the Patriot movement wanted to be a law unto themselves. He felt that they were Christian only on the surface and that they used it to … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Living the Life Part 2

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning SummaryQuestion 3: How often did you, your siblings, and your parents read the Bible? Were you guided by your parents or pastors in how to interpret the Bible, especially certain passages, or were you generally free to form your own ideas about what the Bible said?Joe:Suffice it to say that I have read through the whole Bible about forty times.  We were required to read it daily after school. During the summer months, while on summer vacation, we had to read it every morning before breakfast.  Our interpretation of it came directly from Billy Boy G’s [Bill Gothard] reading of the text.  I got to the point wher … [Read more...]


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