Evangelical Christian Marriage: Hawking the Product

by SierraIn evangelical Christian culture, marriage is a commodity. Marriage books are sold like gardening manuals or cheat sheets for the SATs. The sales pitch for marriage in Christian culture is more intense than any you’ll ever experience on a used car lot. Christians are made to believe that they’re God’s designated curators of Marriage, That Holy and Venerable Institution, and that falling down on the job can undermine the entire fabric of society. Just look at these book titles! Marriage is about way more than you and your partner: Save a Marriage, Save Our NationWhy Marriage MattersMarriage On TrialMarriage is also sold as the cure-all for emotional emptiness – s … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 31 – How Did I Get Here Part 2

by MillipedeThe path to Patriarchy is often a convoluted one. Embracing of Patriarchal beliefs is usually not the original intent, but is often the "byproduct" of one's attempt to embrace a particular religion and/ or ideology.This is important to remember, few women are quick to jump on a bandwagon which promotes a society in which women have few or no rights. However, finding themselves presented with a series of agreeable answers to various concerns will act as a compass which eventually leads the seeker to a particular brand of patriarchy.In more down to earth terms, proponents of patriarchy know they have a tough sell. After all, what woman in their right of mind is going to … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 30 – How Did I Get Here Part 1

by MillipedeHow Did I get here?In the Talking Heads song "Once in a lifetime", lead singer David Byrne echoes this very line. This lyric came to me many a time as I withdrew from Patriarchal fundamentalism. Like a Nautilus Shell rising to the ocean surface, my ascent was marked with the emptying of successive chambers; first I decided to take control of my future by going back to work, soon I no longer confined myself to skirts and dresses in public. Sometime between the first step and the final exit, I went from rebelling against what I saw as "extreme patriarchy" to questioning the belief itself.Now that I am out-out of the Christian Patriarchy (but not Christianity itself), … [Read more...]

Parenting & the Super Religious

by CaluluLatebloomer from the NLQ Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network has written an excellent series right now based upon reviewing the parenting advice in Reb Bradley's book 'Child Training Tips'  She's done an outstanding job on this topic and I have to admit it triggers me just a bit. Triggers some of my experiences back in the old church.During my years in Fundamentalism Evangelicalism I never encountered Reb Bradley's book. The one that was pushed upon me constantly was Michael and Debi Pearl's "To Train Up A Child". I read through it once, horror-struck by the suggestions in the book, finding it ridiculously harsh and thinking that raising your children like little obeying … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 29

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Mama’s Choice – Part 6: Inception

by Vyckie GarrisonEver since I watched the movie, Inception, I've wanted to shout to the world, Wow - that happened to me! And here I thought Quiverfull was my own idea all along!!If you haven't seen the movie, here's a quick summary: "Inception" is the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious. A thief, who possesses the ability to project himself deep inside the subconscious of a victim's mind in order to steal their ideas, is hired to reverse the process - he must plant an idea so skillfully that the subject will act against his own best interests and according to another man's wishes, all the while, firmly believing that his choice to do so is … [Read more...]

No Mamas Choice – Infertility

by CaluluWhat happens when Quiverfull moms get that Baby Fever and discover for unknown reasons that their wombs will not get with the program?It is one of the questions that pops up here from time to time -'What about women who are infertile, how does the doctrine of many 'blessings' preached by the Quiverfull Patriarch movement treat women who aren't able to bear children?'Past abortions are blamed frequently as a reason for infertility, the thinking being that you devalued life and the precious gift that the Lord gave you so He determined you are not worthy of the blessing. We know that some sources believe God punishes women who have had abortions by making them bear disabled … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Conclusion

by LatebloomerThis is the final part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here. Read criticism #3 here. Read criticism #4 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abus … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 28

by MillipedeAs January gave way to February, I noticed that my ex and I spoke for shorter lengths of time. He seemed busy. I didn't give it much though, after all we were just friends and nothing more.Then came the day that we had meet at the courthouse to renew our homesteader's tax credit. Although I had been paying the property taxes, since we had both our names still on the title, we both had to sign the renewal forms. As the matter has now become a legal one, I must be mindful of what I type. Suffice it to say, my ex suddenly denied ever agreeing to certain things pertaining to property division, things that we had BOTH agreed on when we broke up. In fact he was making a grab … [Read more...]

Mama’s Choice – Part 4: Buying It Wholesale

by Vyckie GarrisonShortly after recognizing the spiritually abusive nature of the Quiverfull movement, I wrote:I’ve had a sick feeling in my stomach lately.  It’s the feeling that comes along with a growing realization that the Quiverfull worldview and lifestyle which I felt that I had carefully considered and thoughtfully adopted is, in actuality, a product called “biblical family values” which is being aggressively marketed as an investment to safeguard our loved ones from becoming collateral damage in today’s war against the family. …Seems that I should have been immune to the marketing strategies of those who ruthlessly engender fear and dissatisfaction so they can offer their … [Read more...]