Bad, Evil Psychology Helped Me

by LatebloomerGrowing up, I heard a lot of scoffing at psychology in my family, homeschooling community, and fundamentalist church.  In those circles, the study and application of psychology represented a worthless human attempt to feel happier apart from God and become better without the guidance of the Bible.   The anti-psychology sentiment was so strong that even building kids' self-confidence and self-esteem was derided as a "worldly" goal.  There was too much "self" in the name.  Real True Christian children were to be obedient and humble instead.Looking back, I definitely had the obedience thing handled; in fact, I cannot remember ever purposefully disobeying my parents, even in … [Read more...]

The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Ripping the Moorings Part 2

MaryannT

by SierraMy mother is stubborn.My father jokes that it’s the Polish in her (and me) that makes us clutch ideas so hard they fuse with our fingers and become permanent fists of stony resolve. This tenacity kept my mother with my father, kept her in church despite the disapproval of other women, kept her homeschooling me against everyone’s wishes and kept her focused with faith on the promise of the future. My mother is the kind of woman who will make this world a better place or die trying, and then come back and haunt the place until the job is done. She is physiologically incapable of giving up.The problem is, she’s not invincible.As I was settling into college life and tryin … [Read more...]

Gloating and Slander: Michael Pearl, Nancy Ann Wilson and Christian Fundamentalist Responses to Criticism

slander

by Sierra(Editor's note: Many of our NLQ writers have sounded off on this situation. To see more visit Libby Anne, and Incongruous Circumspection. There are others who've also written of what happened that are worth checking out - Rachel Held Evans, The Friendly Atheist, Sarah Over The Moon,  Dianna Anderson, and Are Women Human.)Femina has been lighting up like a Christmas tree since The Gospel Coalition blog post that threw Doug Wilson into the spotlight for arguing that egalitarian sexual relationships were unnatural and that if “authority and submission” aren’t honored in sex, men turn to rape to fulfill their animal urges.Now Wilson’s wife, Nancy Ann, has joined the fray: 10 … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: A Gendered Childhood Part 1

by Libby AnneRaised Quiverfull Introduction — A Gendered ChildhoodQuestion 1: How many siblings did you grow up with? Did responsibilities in your family differ by gender, with the girls having certain chores and the boys having others? Explain.Joe:My Mama was a very unique woman.  I’ll explain in a bit.  But first, I was the dead middle child of seven siblings.  The oldest was a girl, then twin boys, then me, then two more girls, and finally, the baby of the family, a boy.  If you’re familiar with any movies or television shows, you might see that it is regularly portrayed that siblings hate each other.  Especially boys hating on girls and the other way around.  Due … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 5

by Cindy FosterTHE SHUNNINGThis ‘discipline‘ as it turned out was not discipline at all, but punishment which had the appearance of one acting to satisfy his wrath against those who resisted or opposed him. He actually commanded the whole church to SHUN these young people for varying periods of time from 2 weeks to 6 weeks according to the severity of their ‘crimes’. There was only one given 6 weeks, and that was for making the statement about his not disciplining them unless he disciplined the others. This he said was the worst offense of all because that person was, “Making an accusation against a pastor without witnesses”. This person was also suspended from coming to church a … [Read more...]

Dispelled: Part 11 Raging Rapids on the Sea of Change

by ChandraJune came in on the wings of a splendid spring for Darren and I. My world had never been sunnier. It was a hopeful season full of the amazing gift of love between a man and his woman. We both knew we were going to become engaged, the question was one of timing.The lease for the sugary little condo that I was renting with my friend was going to be up at the end of June. Due to the situation of my relationship with Darren, and the seriousness of it, this was going to render me without a place to live. My two dear friends were going to be moving in with three other girls, and due to occupational ordinances there was not room for one more person. I knew what my options … [Read more...]

The Duggar Family Doesn’t Go to the Beach, and Why That’s Bad for Their Kids

by SierraThis just in from the Department of Unintended Irony: Michelle Duggar makes a public statement about modesty, just to be sure you know how modest they are – too modest for the beach – in case you were straining your neck looking for their modest stairstep children in the crowd while you immodestly sunned your heathen midriff. After all, they’re so modest, they wouldn’t want you thinking and worrying about them too much!Michelle Duggar poses with her family in the hospital after delivering a baby.Michelle Duggar: We Don’t Wear Shorts – Or Go to the Beach!Okay, guys, I’m turning off my snark filter. Really. It’s starting to overheat.Before I go any further … [Read more...]

Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood

LateBloomer

by LatebloomerWhen I look at my little toddler, I am so glad that I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian.First, I don't believe in total depravity anymore, so I don't feel compelled to interpret his actions with negative terminology. The doctrine of total depravity is a common belief among fundamentalists.  It teaches that every person is born with a sin nature, separated from God, and capable of the worst kinds of evil.  It also says that proper parenting can mitigate the effects of the sin nature, but only a relationship with Jesus can make a person capable of true goodness.If I believed that my child had a sin nature that predisposed him to evil, that would c … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 4

by Cindy FosterPARTY TIMEIt was the end of the 1900’s. There was much uncertainty in the air everywhere, about what the next millennium would bring. Would our computer-dependent world come to a screeching halt? Would there be a shortage of food, water and electricity? Should we be stockpiling goods in preparation?If the ‘air’ everywhere else was unsettling, it was much more so in the church. If tension was butter, you could cut it with a knife. The young people were troubled, parents were hyper-alert, Paul and I felt like we were walking a perpetual tight-rope and The Preacher was venting rage through every sermon at our expense. With that kind of a pressure-cooker clima … [Read more...]


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