Justice is No Lady: Chapter 11: Jack, the One I Lost

by Tess WilloughbyWhen Jack was just a baby, Nate had rejected Jack’s personality, and had set out to beat and berate it out of him. When Jack reached middle school age, or perhaps a little bit before, the seeds that his father had planted suddenly sprouted. Jack began to come unraveled. “Something is wrong with me,” he said. “I’m messed up.”Jack began to abuse his little sisters. His grades slipped. He had been my comedian, making jokes about everything all day. Now, he moped. He refused to play sports. He would not bathe.If anyone touched Jack, even to restrain him or remove dangerous objects from his hands, Nate took Jack to magistrates to swear out warrants that Jack was being … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 5 Theoretical Visitation

by Incongruous CircumspectionFor those of my readers keeping track, you might remember that I have six siblings. Seven kids and one father with visitation rights. My mother had won full custody and my father was given every other weekend with his kids and four weeks in the summer. Again, there were seven of us. This meant that he had to split us up in sets of two and three so we could fit into his apartment. Thus, I ended up going with him about every six weeks – in theory.My mother played every game in the book to keep us away from our dad. He would call Friday night to tell her who he wanted to pick up the next morning and she would go through a long laundry list of excuses a … [Read more...]

Update: Lori Wick, Christian Author Involved in Child Abuse Probe

There has been some resolution of last year's allegations of child abuse of children as young as two months old at the Black Earth, Wisconsin Aleithiea Baptist Church. Philip Caminiti, the former pastor of Aleitheia Bible Church of Black Earth Wisconsin was found guilty in March of conspiracy to commit child abuse. Yesterday he was sentenced to 2 years in prison and 6 years if probation. His probation stipulates that that during his probation term, Caminiti is not to have contact with the members of his church, though he is allowed contact with his wife, children, and grandchildren.Lori Wick and the others have yet to stand trial.Wisconsin State Journal: Black Earth pastor gets 2 … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 4

by MillipedeAlthough the "dress code" was the most glaring example of our changing mindset.There were other changes which were just as bad if not worse in the long run.My husband started to implement "order in the home". Although not as extreme as the other men, he considered himself the head of the household. Sure, I could argue, but if he stuck to his guns on something, I was expected to follow. I could be stubborn, but there were plenty of things that I gave way. Dressing in skirts out in public wasn't the only one. Staying at home, I let him control the finances. Sure, I could give advice, nag and so on, but in the end, he decided all things. A lot of things happened that in … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 3: A Growing Up Story

by Permission to LiveBefore I go any further I just want to make it clear that my spouse has participated in the writing and editing of this series, and has given their full support and approval of it's publication.This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Over the next number of months it seemed that we talked about transgender questions and issues constantly. My spouse had been unable to talk about this for so long and now it was like a floodgate had opened. He told me about how he had always felt different, that even as a small child he wished he could play with some of the girls’ toys and wondered why he couldn’t have … [Read more...]

Forming Boundaries Late in Life

by LatebloomerDo any of these sound like you?I have to always say yes to others, or else I am selfish. I have to always hide my hurt, or else I am unloving. I have to treat other people as faultless, or else I am holding a grudge. I have to keep my wants and needs to myself, or else I am a burden to others.People who experienced authoritarian parents tend to turn into adults with poor boundaries. They were trained for it their whole lives and can't imagine another way of doing things. However, it's an extremely unsatisfying and unsustainable way to live, don't you think? But most importantly, it's actually not what a loving person is like! For me, when I was in that mindset, … [Read more...]

Quiverfull and the Introvert: Where Do You Get Your Energy?

by Barbie Getzreal"Where do you get your energy?!"This is a question which is frequently asked of Quiverfull moms by amazed and admiring onlookers who cannot imagine being able to keep up with the exponential demands of "biblical womanhood" including: perpetual pregnancy, child-bearing, adopting sibling groups, breastfeeding, baby wearing, chronic sleep deprivation, raising half a dozen or more closely-spaced, "stair-step" children, homeschooling - year round through chronic illness, child-training, character training, tomato-staking, discipling children, homemaking, penny-pinching, organic gardening, baking from scratch, once-a-month cooking, homesteading, sewing modest clothing, s … [Read more...]

A Tomboy in Christian Patriarchy

by LatebloomerI was not the type of daughter that my mother wanted. I was a tomboy.My hair was very short and I preferred blue clothes. I wanted to run faster and climb higher than anyone. I wasn't afraid of slimy frogs and worms, and I could kill a spider without batting an eye. I looked with confusion and disdain at the passive little girls with their hair-bows, sitting and talking about clothes and boys. If I had known the term "badass" back then, I would have applied it to myself with pride.When I was young, my mom was more tolerant of this. After all, in the early days, there were mostly boys in my age group in our small homeschooling community. So I was free to run wild … [Read more...]

"Children Are a Blessing" video – Quiverfull believers explain Quiverfull

For those readers who are interested in hearing an explanation of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle, "Children Are a Blessing" by Moore Family Films is available free online through April 30th.Children are a Blessing from Moore Family Films on Vimeo.Children are a Blessing from Moore Family Films on Vimeo.NLQ Recommended Reading ...'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich ‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland ‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce<A HREF="h … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Mama’s Boy and the Other Woman

by SierraI have already written about the ways that growing up in fundamentalist-evangelical culture made me especially vulnerable to covert incest from my father. There is a flip side to the father-daughter craze in Christian patriarchy, though. I am here to bring you two stories: and one of them isn’t about me!In what would have been my high school years, a miracle happened. Sven, my best friend from my early childhood, came back to my church. We were fourteen. We had been estranged for about three years while his family lived in another state. But we quickly reconnected (not least due to my idealistic hopes that we could pick up where we left off, and some aggressive b … [Read more...]