Millipede Part 30 – How Did I Get Here Part 1

by MillipedeHow Did I get here?In the Talking Heads song "Once in a lifetime", lead singer David Byrne echoes this very line. This lyric came to me many a time as I withdrew from Patriarchal fundamentalism. Like a Nautilus Shell rising to the ocean surface, my ascent was marked with the emptying of successive chambers; first I decided to take control of my future by going back to work, soon I no longer confined myself to skirts and dresses in public. Sometime between the first step and the final exit, I went from rebelling against what I saw as "extreme patriarchy" to questioning the belief itself.Now that I am out-out of the Christian Patriarchy (but not Christianity itself), … [Read more...]

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Millipede Part 29

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What Do Quiverfull Christians Believe About Birth Control?

by Vyckie GarrisonHere you go; all the teachings from Jan & Rick Hess, Nancy Campbell, Mary Pride, Bill Gothard, Charles Provan, Jonathan Lindvall, S.M. Davis, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Voddie Baucham, R.C. Sproul Jr., Doug & Beall Phillips, Sherry Hayes, Chris & Wendy Jeub, Steve & Teri Maxwell, Jennie Chancey, Stacey McDonald, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar, ... all conveniently summarized in one YouTube video, You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception by The Children of Mary ...Women who use contraceptives cause men to be gay ... ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶Comments open belowRead everything by Vyckie!Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “es … [Read more...]

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Millipede: Part 28

by MillipedeAs January gave way to February, I noticed that my ex and I spoke for shorter lengths of time. He seemed busy. I didn't give it much though, after all we were just friends and nothing more.Then came the day that we had meet at the courthouse to renew our homesteader's tax credit. Although I had been paying the property taxes, since we had both our names still on the title, we both had to sign the renewal forms. As the matter has now become a legal one, I must be mindful of what I type. Suffice it to say, my ex suddenly denied ever agreeing to certain things pertaining to property division, things that we had BOTH agreed on when we broke up. In fact he was making a grab … [Read more...]

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The (Polished) Lives of Others

by Broken DaughtersI remember dreaming about life the way I had seen it in those P/QF books and magazines and occasional home making blogs. It’s funny because it was never that way at our house. But I always thought that one day, I would live one of those beautiful lives.I’d have a pantry filled with homemade juices and marmalade and sauces and relishes. I’d have a beautiful, antique and yet modern kitchen. I’d have a great view from my kitchen windows, and I’d wear a beautiful apron. I’d be… hm. One of those fairytale housewives, I guess.My life would be quiet, relaxed. I’d be busy decorating a beautiful home, not really worrying about money and how to get by. My husband would be … [Read more...]

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Millipede: Part 26

by MillipedeI stood there looking at my ex turned "roommate".  By either title, I would be stuck with his problems. Winter and all it's problems loomed ahead. For some reason, I thought of the book,The Shinning. The description of Danny's thoughts as he realizes that the hotel is haunted and that he and his family will be stuck there all Winter. In vain, he hopes that the evil that resides in the hotel will leave him alone, but deep down he knows better.Here I was facing, the same dilemma; should I do something or should I try to stay and hope for the best. Moving out on such a short notice, how could I even manage it. Short of moving in with my sister and her husband, sharing a … [Read more...]

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News Links September 5, 2012

Sometimes churches need to be reminded that if they campaign for a certain party or candidate they put their tax exempt status at risk - ChicoER - Editorial: Church runs afoul of rulesThere's an interesting article by Jenny Rae Armstrong over at Red Letter Christians about Patriarchy, Pop Culture, and PornograpyThoughts on handling a large family after leaving Quiverfull Patriarch world far behind. Recovering from Religion - When the Grass Looks Greener Elsewhere- Be Sure the Fertilizer Works in Your Yard!And for anyone that needs a reminder of poisonous and destructive Patriarchy and Quiverfull beliefs can be just one quick read through the Duggar-approved 7 Basic Needs of a … [Read more...]

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Millipede: Part 25

by MillipedeThings settled down. My ex took the breakup in stride. We both talked about remaining friends. Now that I didn't have to be his caretaker/servant/mom (what a strange combo) I felt better. No longer was dread a daily companion, I was free from all of that.We both did the "let's stay friends" bit. It seemed like that it might work. My ex seemed to have adapted wonderfully to the fact that we were splitting up. He even looked at options whereby he would move out so as to save me the trouble of moving. Things didn't work out, but at least he was being considerate. We got along better, now that the tension was down. I was ready to take my time, save my money for the … [Read more...]

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Before There Was Me

Mari

by Mari(Editors note: Please join me in welcoming the newest member Mari of the Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network. Mari will be telling her story here starting with her mother. Thanks for joining us Mari!)My mom spent her childhood in south central North Dakota and north central South Dakota. I’m not clear on the details of her childhood, but I do know that they lived on at least two different properties in North Dakota, but she attended church and graduated from high school in the little town of Pollock, South Dakota.Pollock is a beautiful place. Not because of scenery or landscaping, but because the ideals, the mindset, and the sense of community are beautiful. It’s like go … [Read more...]

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Millipede Part 24 – The Breakup

shattered

by MillipedeThe next day I got up. As I showered and got dressed I thought of the previous night's events. I was tired, a bit worried, but mostly resolved. I was going to have a final talk with my husband; lay the cards on the table concerning our future.The discussion started as others had before with me sharing my concerns about my husband's drinking. Of course, my husband denied that he had a problem and our argument followed the trail. It was clear to me as we argued, that my husband was in his usual denial mode and I knew what that meant for the future. I couldn't not live under that sort of stress. It was time to act.I told my husband that if this was how he felt about the … [Read more...]

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