An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

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by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

Updated Allegations Involving Jack Schaap

Many of us that have been following the Jack Schaap firing from First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana.  This morning brought the news of exactly why there was a law enforcement investigation into the circumstances that led to his dismissal. Not only had he cheated on his wife, breaking his marriage covenant with her but it seems that his choice of partner was a 16 year old girl, a mere child to his 54 years of age.Preying on the young, sick and disgusting.More at MSNBC.Comments open belowNLQ Recommended Reading ...'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich ‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland ‘Quiverfull: Inside the … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 17

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by MillipedeThis time around it was different on the surface at least. My husband was trying a kinder and gentler approach to his faith. Rather than trying to make his wife follow behind him in the old Patriarchy Parade, my husband was content to go to church by himself. He did encourage me to go and on the infrequent occasions that I did, he would make a point of being considerate of me.Even so, I did not make plans to attend on a regular basis, even with my husband willing to leave when I was ready, it was usually about three in the afternoon when we left church. Given that it took over an hour to get there, the day was mostly over when we got home. Also, this pastor believed that … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 13 – Finis

by CaluluLet's recap: Tom Smith has just spent something like nearly fifteen years meddling in my life under the guise of 'Christian Brotherhood' and we'd just left the church we attended with him for a mainstream denomination in our town. He'd led the villagers in a figurative angry mob with torches against us to try and make my husband and myself return to our old church. There was no turning back at this point....The angry emails proclaiming fire, brimstone and angry celestial judgment started to ease off till after a few years there were only a few every six months or so. The rumors getting back to me about myself were becoming very less frequent even if some of those I had … [Read more...]

The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 13

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by MillipedeThe new building had not materialized. The way that things were going, their might not be enough funds to acquire the building. Even so, our pastor continued on with his vision of a new church. I got the sense that even if it he had to go back to having church at home, he was going to create a new organization.It was at this point that we noticed something; my husband was no longer our pastor's confidant. Sure, our pastor would be friendly with my husband and if asked, he would discuss the new church with my husband. However, when the new building became available, he asked several other of the men to accompany him to the new building to see what they thought of it. My … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 11

by CaluluI went home crying, shocked that my pastor had gone back on his word like that. It was a betrayal that left me reeling emotionally. Cried for days feeling a sense of deep betrayal. The pastor was quiet that week, no emails or phone calls.I told my husband that I thought the time was right for me to join him at the other church and that I had no intention of going back to the old church as a member ever again. He was the recipient that afternoon of quite a few emails from Tom Smith telling him that he was dicing with his very salvation by attending this main stream denomination filled with homosexual abortionists.Fast forward a week. Hubby and I both agree that the best … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 10

by CaluluIt seemed like the conferences and teachings were helping Tom even if he was still having his moments of weirdness and dysfunction.And then my darling husband started skipping our church's Sunday School to attend the early service at a big mainstream denomination before coming for to our church for our service. The questions started. I didn't quite know how to answer them because I didn't quite know exactly what was going on in my husband's mind. I knew he was unhappy with our church and visiting the denomination he'd been raised in was comforting to him, like going to the Catholic Charismatic services were to me when I visited down home in Louisiana. But I didn't really … [Read more...]

Dispelled: Part 11 Raging Rapids on the Sea of Change

by ChandraJune came in on the wings of a splendid spring for Darren and I. My world had never been sunnier. It was a hopeful season full of the amazing gift of love between a man and his woman. We both knew we were going to become engaged, the question was one of timing.The lease for the sugary little condo that I was renting with my friend was going to be up at the end of June. Due to the situation of my relationship with Darren, and the seriousness of it, this was going to render me without a place to live. My two dear friends were going to be moving in with three other girls, and due to occupational ordinances there was not room for one more person. I knew what my options … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 11

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by MillipedeEverything seemed to be righting itself, it was tough, but we were on our way. Things would be tight and they were somewhat different now. Seeing how my husband acted after losing his job had really struck a blow to our relationship. I had always known that my husband could be lazy and not given to "worrying about money". However, I had always thought that when the stakes were really high that even he would come through. Seeing how my husband reacted to his job loss changed all of that.The few attempts at even looking for a job ( two tries) and then sitting back and just being content to sell things until he ran out. I thought of all the sit down jobs for those with little … [Read more...]


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