Is This Your Pastor?

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHere is another interesting article on Covert Narcissism – specifically in the pastorate.  As I read the indicators, I was again nodding my head in agreement.Link to pdfThe bullet point list in the article talks about “one-upping you in conversation.”  I hadn’t thought much about this until I saw this point, but, yes, that happened in my very limited conversations with the pastor. … [Read more...]

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Beware of Church Planting Networks

Image from Christian Patriarchal Watch List For Parents

by Emily Nielson Jones of Christian Patriarchal Watch List For Parents "For every 1 church plant by a mainline denomination, there are 9 church plants by an evangelical group, and most evangelical denominations were more open to women's leadership 100 years ago than they are today - for example, Evangelical Free, Baptist General Conference, Assemblies of God, various Holiness denominations, and the Wesleyan church.” ~ Dave Olson, Church Planter, Evangelical Covenant Church (which has a gender-balanced leadership) http://www.christianitytoday.com/gifted-for-leadership/2009/april/final-church-barrier-for-women-church-planter.html … [Read more...]

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Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Is It Okay To Join A Christian Group Just To Meet A Husband?

Answering

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

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Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

Watchtheshepherd

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]

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Purging My Taliban Ways

by Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding FundamentalI was strolling down the aisles at Sam’s Wholesale Club one day about a year or so after leaving the church, and in the book aisle I noticed a book written by a woman from Afghanistan. It was obvious from the cover that she was a Muslim living under Taliban rule. I picked it up and began looking it over as I do with any book that piques my curiosity. I turned it over to read the back cover and was instantly captivated by what I saw. There written, was a list of rules imposed and strictly enforced on women under Taliban rule. … [Read more...]

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Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – What Is The Balance Between Friendship and Flirting?

Answering

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

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How Should Churches Handle Allegations of Abuse?

Oh the mainstay of most IFB churches, the bus route. This is a bus from an IFB church founded by a pastor who served time for sexually molesting children from the church school Image by Suzanne Titkemeyer

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserHow should churches handle allegations of abuse? Let me state right up front that I do not think churches shouldn’t “handle” anything.  This is what gets churches, pastors, and church leaders into trouble to start with. Instead of immediately doing the right thing when someone makes an allegation of abuse, pastors and church members often: … [Read more...]

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Do Evangelical Beliefs Lead to Mental Illness?

bruce gerencser 2014

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserDo Evangelical beliefs lead to mental illness? Yes and no. Certainly, Evangelicals, thanks to their religious beliefs, are, to some degree, deluded. They believe things that aren’t true, but I am not inclined to think that this means they all have some sort of mental illness.  All of us are capable of self-delusion. That said, I do think some Evangelicals are mentally ill, and thanks to their beliefs, they see their illness as God giving them some sort of inside information about the world. These Evangelicals are the religious version of Mel Gibson in the movie Conspiracy Theory. Let me illustrate this with a YouTu … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Desperate Infertile Mothers Are Monsters?

quotingquiverfull

by Zsuzsanna Anderson of Are They All Yours? - Did I Already Mention I Hate IVF?Editor's note: As a woman who has seriously struggled with infertility while quiverfull, just like many of you here have, I find Zsuzsanna's words mocking another infertile mother upsetting and vile. Where's the love of Christ in any of this? One lesson learned through the years is that things you throw rocks at because it's a battle you do not have can become the same problem for you. Universal reciprocity or karma just seems to like to work that way. … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Have Babies or Deprive the World?

quotingquiverfull

by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies - Every Great Thing That Happens In The World Happens Through The Womb!Editor's note: Now Nancy is equating keeping from having a baby of a possible Einstein or Mother Theresa. What she doesn't say is that it works both ways, you might also be keeping a Jeffrey Dahmer or Pol Pot from this world too. Have lots of babies because God is her primary message these days. She doesn't seem to realize that her advise is about as true as those labels on ladies clothing that say 'One Size Fits All' … [Read more...]

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