True Love Doesn’t Wait

truelovewaits

by Rosie Franklin cross posted from her blog Disrupting Dinner PartiesTrigger warning- Christian virginity/purity culture throughout (which is absolutely not sarcasm as a trigger warning). __________________Also, I told you not to read this, Mom._______________ I talked a bit Tuesday about how I lost my virginity, in my post on rape culture. I sort of mentioned but didn’t go into detail about the fact that the loss of my virginity was somewhat emotionally unmooring for me, in addition to the manner in which I “lost” it being awful. So today I’m going to talk about what I was taught about sex and virginity. … [Read more...]

Victims and Abusers and Why Church is Not Safe

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by Samantha cross posted from her blog Defeating the Dragons[trigger warning for abuse] If you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed that I watched My Fair Lady this past weekend, one of my favorite movies from when I was younger, but a movie I haven’t seen in years. And while I enjoyed the nostalgia and singing all the songs again, it was not an entirely pleasant experience and I probably won’t watch it again. Watching Professor Higgins, listening to him sing “Let a Woman in Your Life,” realizing that he never uses Eliza’s name and instead prefers to call her wretch, insect, and baggage, and understanding for the first time that Professor Higgins is an abuser . . . … [Read more...]

Teenage Brides and Titus 2 Women of the Homeschool Apostates

laurenchapman

by Heather Doney cross posted from her blog Becoming WorldlyToday the big American Prospect “Homeschool Apostates” story came out. A number of us have been working with Kathryn Joyce for some time on the issue and so while I only had a short segment in it, an interview on social awkwardness as a formative experience, the piece is the most comprehensive one to exist on this advocacy work I am helping spearhead as of yet, and it really highlights the issues in a way that I find to be deeply meaningful and sincerely hope will help raise awareness and bring about improvement. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: How to Attract a Righteous Guy’s Attention?

naggyman

by The Author (guest post) at Integrity of the Home: Quirks of the Fairer Sex Which Ought Not be So I could be wrong, but I think an idea prevalent in so-called "reformed" circles among you young ladies is this: guys don't notice you all, so you have to look "cute" or act a certain way to get attention. Maybe you'll be at church, or perhaps a nice conference, but you'll stand there and observe (out of the corner of your eye, of course) all us guys bumble around like blind fellows, consumed with our football or movies, never noticing you in all your reformed, youthful splendor. … [Read more...]

Quivering Questions Vaughn Ohlman Questions 6 -10

wordsalad

by Vaughn Ohlman cross posted from True Love Doesn't WaitWell, Suzanne Callulu has asked me another set of questions. This time they won’t work to go all in one prose segment, so I have included the questions in the text:6.What do you think of Christians in Politics? Romans 13:1-7 Let every soul be in subjection to the higher powers: for there is no power but of God; and the powers that be are ordained of God. Therefore he that resisteth the power, withstandeth the ordinance of God: and they that withstand shall … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: A Truly Submissive Heart For Marriage?

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by Matthew Chapman - Thoughts on Betrothal (15 Years Later) Many Christian homeschooling homes, on the other hand, seem to provide young women with a more natural context in which to come forth—that is, if the parents have an eye for this and their time is used wisely. This is not only true in daughters learning homemaking skills from their mothers, but in the Lord fashioning in them a gentle and quiet spirit. Daughters can also develop a truly submissive heart in how they relate to their parents, and particularly their father, for one day they will have another man with whom they must submissively relate to as their head. … [Read more...]

Religious Counsel

real-men-dont-rape

by Anais Chartschenko cross posted from her blog The Monsterium(Please welcome Anais to NLQ and to the SASBN! We're glad she's here!)My rapist had listened to me. I had warned him I was thinking of telling on him. I was getting tired of being his rag doll. He explained very gently that no one would believe me, or if they did they would tell me it was my fault. He decided to demonstrate this. He was very sensitive this way. … [Read more...]

She Deserved My Undeterred Love

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by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous CircumspectionTrigger warning: Sexual contentThe day was sweltering hot in the two room studio apartment. The air conditioning, rusting in it's metal encasement, rattled and whined, trying to keep up with the radiant heat of the asphalt coming in the back window. The room smelled slightly, as it always did, of a small gas leak from the old, olive green, stove on the east wall. … [Read more...]

Fundamentalist Flashbacks

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by Jonny Scaramanga cross posted from his blog Leaving Fundamentalism(Editor's note: Welcome Jonny to NLQ and the SASBN! We're glad to have you here!)I recently woke up in the middle of the night, gripped by a sudden panic. What if I’m wrong?If I’m wrong, I’m going to hell.I’ve spent the last several years campaigning to raise public awareness of fundamentalist Christian schools that I consider abusive. I went to such a school myself, so I have a dog in this fight. If what they taught me is true, then I have spent these years fighting against God himself. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: So It’s Not Just Justin Lookadoo?

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From Alternet - 5 Christians Who Make Their Living Telling Kids Outrageous Lies About Sex Pam Stenzel: "If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you." Stenzel is a lecturer who, according to her bio, "provide[s] a structured and unambiguous message of abstinence that will mobilize and empower adolescents to make responsible choices" and claims to speak in-person to about  500,000 young people annually. She makes about  … [Read more...]


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