Snipped! Part 4 The Freedom of Divorce

 by Incongruous CircumspectionSeven years old was a big year for me. It was at this point that Mama and Dad’s relationship boiled over and broke apart. Dad left and went to live by himself, leaving my siblings and I alone with Mama. At this point in my life, the alone time with Mama wasn’t too bad. She hadn’t learned yet, to take her immature “lashing out,” and reconcile it with her interpretation of the Bible. She was just solidly abusive and then excitingly adventurous.At one point, Dad did try to come back and give the marriage another chance. I remember being asked to dry the dishes one evening. Dad had pulled our old black and white television from its corner, to the mid … [Read more...]

Sexuality: the Elephant in the Room

by LatebloomerMy mom walked into my bedroom and handed me a heavy biology textbook. "Read chapter 13," she told me, breathless and blushing. Then she rushed out. I opened to the appropriate chapter: "The Reproductive System". That was my entire sex education; I was 17 years old.I think we can all agree: sex education should probably be done by people who have said the word "sex" out loud at least once in their lives.My parents' denial of sexuality couldn't stop puberty, and couldn't stop our curiosity about sex. Instead, their attitude clearly showed us kids that we could never go to our parents with any questions or concerns that were related to our sexuality or genitals. For … [Read more...]

Thirtyone – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluI was driving around the other day running a few errands and when I got back to my car I caught the tail end of a some random preacher speaking about the proper role of women in The Kingdom on local Christian radio. I didn't catch his name or the name of his ministry or sponsor but his message was loud and clear and made my blood boil. Bulls eye. Trigger hit. Buttons pushed.He started off speaking on the subject of what his ten year old daughter wanted to be when she grew up. She's crazy for gymnastics and he asked her that question about the future we all contemplate, what did she want to be when she grew up. Her answer to that question was that she would be a gymnastics … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 1b – Women? Goals? Who Are YOU Kidding!

By Incongruous CircumspectionIn Part 1a, we witnessed Bill Gothard call a woman who does not obey her husband in everything, never questioning any decision he makes, a "fool". He based this epithet on a woman while referencing Ephesians 5:22 - 24. Of course, I uncovered the fact that Bill was flat out lying. That passage says nothing of the sort.Let's continue discussing Gothard's first Basic Need of a Husband ([A man needs a wife that is loyal and supportive]).Gothard continues to expound on the above basic need by stating the following:[Realize that your husband’s perspective is different than yours.]Wow. Bill is really smart. Put two or more people together and you h … [Read more...]

Why Courtship Fails: A Male’s Perspective

by The GraduateAs a young man in my early twenties who grew up in conservative homeschool circles, I was excited to return home after spending four years in a Christian college. I had very little experience in dating and hadn’t been in a relationship in college, but I had a good degree and a solid career lined up in front of me. My parents were excited too, because they hoped that I would be able to easily find a bride among the many single homeschool girls my family knew. I was a willing participant to their plans, but I soon found out that even with the right credentials, it was still impossible for me to come against homeschool patriarchy and perfectionism.According to Bill G … [Read more...]

How the Modesty Doctrine Hurts Men, Too

by SierraI’ve written a few times about how the modesty doctrine hurts women. Now it’s time to switch lenses. The modesty doctrine also wreaks havoc on the minds of young men in the Christian patriarchy movement. Here’s how:It teaches men to be afraid of women because their sexual power is too great to be resisted. It teaches men to despise women and hampers their relationships. It teaches men to be afraid of their own bodies. It teaches men to control and criticize women in order to protect themselves. It teaches men to be paranoid about their sexual orientation. It teaches gay men that they don’t exist.(There are probably more consequences of which I’m not aware, so m … [Read more...]

Young patriarch tells it like it is: Woman indeed is the weaker vessel; Sodomites hate God, and infiltrate churches to spit in God’s face … Am I controlling for keeping my woman away from these evil men? Then so be it.

(Trigger warning: patronizing, misogyny, homophobia...)Last night, a patriarch-in-training named "Matt" spent a lot of time reading and commenting on the NLQ FAQ: What Is Quiverfull?It's possible that Matt is a troll and his comments should be ignored or deleted - but his arguments are not at all unlike the "biblical" beliefs which I heard taught/preached regularly during my Quiverfull days. I am assuming Matt is a young man based on his immaturity and know-it-all attitude - of course, given that patriarchs rarely grow up, it's possible that he is an old man - maybe he's the pastor of an IFB church.So, without further ado - here's Matt: I take it from your post that you are … [Read more...]

Throwing Out the Moral GPS

by SierraGrowing up in fundamentalism was like living with a moral GPS navigator installed in my head. Every decision was mapped out already; all I needed to do was listen to the voice telling me where to go. Sometimes I could stop and look at the map. Most of the time I was looking ahead, trying to live, listening and following directions as best I could.The GPS gave me directions for living: Read the Bible and pray every day. Obey your parents. Be respectful of elders.Those directions made sense. They were there to help me get where I wanted to go: straight ahead. There were no twists and turns yet.Then the directions got a little stranger: Listen to one of Branham's … [Read more...]

Smoke & Mirrors

by VyckieLibby Anne makes an astute point in her recent post at Love, Joy, Feminism: Vision Forum focuses on problems in society, inflates them, and then blames feminism and modernity. Then Vision Forum seeks to fix the problems by turning back the clock to a time that never existed. The version of the past that Vision Forum sells is a myth. The problems we face in society today are not new. Substance abuse, the challenges of balancing motherhood and work, and the devaluation of women have always been with us. Looking back to some idealized imaginary past where families had no problems, mothers happily stayed home and devoted their time to raising their children, and women were valued … [Read more...]

"Taking Her Myself" A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

by Vyckie Garrison"Does God Hate Women?" author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his "biblical marriage."  As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on … [Read more...]


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