Millipede: Part 13

by MillipedeThe new building had not materialized. The way that things were going, their might not be enough funds to acquire the building. Even so, our pastor continued on with his vision of a new church. I got the sense that even if it he had to go back to having church at home, he was going to create a new organization.It was at this point that we noticed something; my husband was no longer our pastor's confidant. Sure, our pastor would be friendly with my husband and if asked, he would discuss the new church with my husband. However, when the new building became available, he asked several other of the men to accompany him to the new building to see what they thought of it. My … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 11

by CaluluI went home crying, shocked that my pastor had gone back on his word like that. It was a betrayal that left me reeling emotionally. Cried for days feeling a sense of deep betrayal. The pastor was quiet that week, no emails or phone calls.I told my husband that I thought the time was right for me to join him at the other church and that I had no intention of going back to the old church as a member ever again. He was the recipient that afternoon of quite a few emails from Tom Smith telling him that he was dicing with his very salvation by attending this main stream denomination filled with homosexual abortionists.Fast forward a week. Hubby and I both agree that the best … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 5

by Cindy FosterTHE SHUNNINGThis ‘discipline‘ as it turned out was not discipline at all, but punishment which had the appearance of one acting to satisfy his wrath against those who resisted or opposed him. He actually commanded the whole church to SHUN these young people for varying periods of time from 2 weeks to 6 weeks according to the severity of their ‘crimes’. There was only one given 6 weeks, and that was for making the statement about his not disciplining them unless he disciplined the others. This he said was the worst offense of all because that person was, “Making an accusation against a pastor without witnesses”. This person was also suspended from coming to church a … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 4

by Cindy FosterPARTY TIMEIt was the end of the 1900’s. There was much uncertainty in the air everywhere, about what the next millennium would bring. Would our computer-dependent world come to a screeching halt? Would there be a shortage of food, water and electricity? Should we be stockpiling goods in preparation?If the ‘air’ everywhere else was unsettling, it was much more so in the church. If tension was butter, you could cut it with a knife. The young people were troubled, parents were hyper-alert, Paul and I felt like we were walking a perpetual tight-rope and The Preacher was venting rage through every sermon at our expense. With that kind of a pressure-cooker clima … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 10

by MillipedeIn face of these events, I found work. Once I overcame my husband's reluctance to enter the workforce, he seemed to accept the situation. He drove me to pick up applications. He still held to his Patriarchal beliefs, but in light of our situation, he got over issue of my returning to the workplace.Things went smoothly for a couple of months and then came the phone call. My sister in law who lived at our previous residence called. She had received a notice for my husband to appear in civil court. It was an old medical bill from years back. This wasn't exactly a novel experience. In the last year that my husband was working, we had almost been sued over a smaller bill. … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban Part 2

by Cindy Foster FAMILY AS NEIGHBORSAt first we lived in duplexes right next door to each other.  Then, both families jointly purchased five acres, divided them equally and each built a house on their two and a half acres.As more children came, naturally there would be conflicts between theirs and ours which produced conflicts between us, their parents.  This was particularly difficult for me because whenever arguments erupted between them (for instance) over toys or other belongings as to what belonged to whom, my sister-in-law would automatically assume the role as head arbitrator.  She was ‘The Pastor’s Wife‘ which gave her a kind of ‘authority’ to be the decision-mak … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 8

by MillipedeThe next couple of years were what I would call the "golden years" of Patriarchy. By this I mean that we were living the Patriarchal dream, with the husband "leading" and providing and the wife keeping the home and being submissive. It was the apex of our journey; we were finally living the lifestyle.As i wrote earlier it was during this time that I experienced the joys of having the time to pursue varied interests. My husband drove overland the first year or so and then the latter part, he had a regional route. This meant that he was gone for weeks at a time when he was going across country. Later, with a regional route, he was home every weekend. In retrospect, I think … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban Part 1 – Introduction

by Cindy FosterEditors note: Please welcome Baptist Taliban to our Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network! She will be writing a new series for us.REASONSIn order to add some context to the articles I have written on this blog I want to designate a page to summarize our story from beginning to end.It is my hope, as it has always been, to expose not only the wrongs that The Preacher was guilty of, but to own the actual wrongs we committed as opposed to what The Preacher has stated publicly using skilled innuendo and out-right public accusations.Since it is obvious that sides have been chosen between our family and The Preacher’s, the resulting division and e … [Read more...]

Rebuilding

by Bruce GerencserNine years have passed since I preached my last sermon, since my wife was called the “pastor’s wife.” Almost four years have passed since my wife and I determined to stop attending church. We are now among the “unchurched”, casualties of a life spent in Evangelical Christianity. Worse yet, at least according to our critics, we are now enemies of Christ and his church.You see, we not only left the Church, we left Jesus. Regardless of how some Christians parse our lives through their peculiar theological system, we are indeed two people who once were devoted, committed followers of Jesus, who are now described as an atheist husband and his agnostic wife. … [Read more...]


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