It's Not About the Clothes!

[Note: For NLQ readers who have not yet joined the forum, here's a small taste of what you're missing ~ :) ] by Whisperthroughtherain When I was little, before we moved to the Bible belt, getting dressed was simple. I liked wild colors and animal prints. I felt so pretty when I got my ears pierced. In the summer when it was hot, nobody thought twice about running around in a bikini... Most of us did. Even chubby grandmas! We had pool parties and ordered pizza and my cousin taught me to swim. I thought he was great. Sometimes little boys tried to kiss me, but I just ran away. When I was a little older, we got involved with a southern, backwoods Baptist church. In Sunday school they taught … [Read more...]

It's About MONEY

With Promises of Protection, Security and Ultimate Victory, Peddlers of "Family Values" Manufactured a Culture War, and Capitalized on Our Fears Please note: This post has been modified to clarify the point I want to make which is this: I have no problem with making a buck ~ earning an honest living. In fact, that's exactly what I've got in mind in running the NLQ website, writing a book, etc. ~ I do not apologize for these efforts to support myself and my children. What makes me sick is that the "need" which the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle are being marketed to fill is manufactured and exaggerated in order to sell the product. A friend recently put it this way: It's like buying … [Read more...]

We didn't want to be BALANCED

by Vyckie Me & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord. Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be "balance" ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we've gone from "one extreme to the other." Part of the reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist mindset get a glimpse inside the world and ~ more significantly ~ the head of one who's been there and done that. So ~ with that goal in mind, let me … [Read more...]

It's about CONVICTION

 by Vyckie Laura's got my Happiness! Yesterday I took my 13-year-old daughter, Hazelle (whom I've nicknamed Happy Hazelle or Happiness) to the airport ~ she's spending Spring Break in Seattle with Laura. Fun ;-) Okay ~ I'm commenting on my own post about STRONG WOMEN because I've thought of something else that I wanted to say on this topic. The strength that I had which kept me going was my conviction. I did it because I was so thoroughly convinced that this is what the bible taught and what pleased the Lord. I'd have done anything to please God. The minute that I realized that I no longer believe in God ~ that strength left me and I couldn't do it any more. I lost my motivation. I … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007 An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

We mustn't get ANGRY

by Vyckie "Just SMILE, okay?" This photo was taken on my 18th anniversary before church. Warren was in a terrible mood that morning ~ and all I wanted was to get family pictures taken which made us all look like such a happy family. It's like the more unhappy we were, the more determined I was to put on a good face and show the world how exceedingly happy we were. Ack. Okay ~ I'm trying to work on writing the next installment of my story ~ but now I'm distracted with another topic ~ Strong emotions in general ... and ANGER in particular. I started a thread to discuss health issues ~ and almost immediately regretted it because as I've been reading the angry comments from those who feel … [Read more...]

It's about SUPERSTITION

by Vyckie   At the CYIA Spring Retreat ~ all weekend long, I fought the fear that I had just invited disaster upon myself and my children... Laura's story, Three Lilacs and a Statue made me think about another topic which Laura and I have discussed on several occasions ~ so I talked to her about it again and we decided we would write this post together since "superstition" was such a HUGE part of both of our experiences. I'll go first... Vyckie: Part of my "submissive wife" mindset included the belief that unless I had my husband's approval, whatever idea or plan that I had was doomed and I might as well not even bother. The practicality of that belief was complicated by the fact that … [Read more...]

It's about STRONG WOMEN

by Vyckie   My oldest daughter, Angel and my mom, Lou Ann. So many of the visitors who are reading the stories on this blog have left a comment to the affect that, "You & Laura are amazingly strong women." I've actually done some thinking about that ~ and wanted to share a bit of it here. We have been "strong," yes ~ but is that such a good thing? For myself, I finally realized that being so strong enabled me to live a life that was not healthy for me or my children ~ or for my ex-husband for that matter. As long as I could "handle it" ~ I did. Allow me to boast for just a minute about how "strong" I was. I was so "strong" that I bore seven children ~ six of them in eleven years ~ … [Read more...]

It's a KID COLLECTING COMPETITION

by Vyckie Hazelle with her little lamb collection. When I was "trusting the Lord with our family planning." I never called my children "kids" ~ they were PRECIOUS LAMBS, because as Nancy Campbell explained, "kids" are what neglectful goats have while lambs are the offspring of sheep. A few random thoughts on the topic of having lots of kids: *** Recently I took my children and a neighbor girl to the theater to watch Race to Witch Mountain. Sitting in the dark watching the previews, I noticed a lady coming up the aisle with a whole bunch of kids in tow. Naturally, I started counting. One, two, three ... I wondered if these were all her kids, or did she have some of her children's friends … [Read more...]

It's about MARTYRDOM

by Vyckie Just look how self-indulgent I've become! LOL No, seriously ~ I didn't eat that entire funnel cake by myself ~ I had six helpers, so we got two pastries (one Bavarian creme and one strawberry) to share ;) As much as I like to say that I'm pretty clueless these days ~ "I can tell you what I don't believe, but as far as knowing anything, I really don't see how I could" ~ there is at least one thing that I've learned which I'll hopefully hang onto and try not to forget: Martrydom is not very practical for mothers ~ in fact, it could just get you killed! As a Christian, I was convinced that considering my own needs and desires would be selfish and un-Christlike. I remember a … [Read more...]