Millipede Part 24 – The Breakup

by MillipedeThe next day I got up. As I showered and got dressed I thought of the previous night's events. I was tired, a bit worried, but mostly resolved. I was going to have a final talk with my husband; lay the cards on the table concerning our future.The discussion started as others had before with me sharing my concerns about my husband's drinking. Of course, my husband denied that he had a problem and our argument followed the trail. It was clear to me as we argued, that my husband was in his usual denial mode and I knew what that meant for the future. I couldn't not live under that sort of stress. It was time to act.I told my husband that if this was how he felt about the … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 23

by MillipedeThe moment of truth came one Saturday night. No surprises there. Of course, my husband had decided to have something to drink. I abstained of course, someone would have to be ready to call 911. Even though the any possible seizure would not occur until the following day, a 400+ pound man could get into a lot of trouble if he fell of his chair during a nodding phase. Plus, who knows, this time the seizure might come earlier.Things were going well as expected. The slurring had started just a bit and my husband nodded off only once. off had. My husband mixed another drink which he said would be his last of the night.I watched with relief as he finished the cup. We had … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

Biology 101 Anyone?

by CaluluWhen I first read the headline this weekend I was incredulous. I sat there dumb founded just staring at the screen, not believing what I was reading, this newest cannon volley that is the  war on women and women's reproductive rights. Sadly it wasn't a joke.This is what I saw - Republican Senate Nominee: Victims of 'Legitimate Rape' Don't Get PregnantSurely even the most scantily educated people in this country wouldn't fall for such an obvious falsehood. Or at least anyone that's taken basic biology at the high school level would know this was simply not true. Our bodies are no different than other mammals in that respect. Conception happens if the conditions are right … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 22

by MillipedeAmidst all the craziness with the alcohol, there was yet another worrying development which had crept up.As I mentioned before, my marriage had developed two fronts;one being my husband's self destructive propensities and the second which came later, that being his embrace of religious Patriarchy. The booze crisis came in with a flash, but that didn't mean that trouble wasn't brewing on the ol' Patriarchy front.Despite his new alcohol problem, my husband remained devoutly involved with the church. It was bitterly ironic and a testament to his hypocrisy, but it didn't stop my husband. In fact, I noticed the return of an old attitude, the one where he was lord over the … [Read more...]

My mom is going back to school!

by Sierra(Editors note: Thank you NLQ readership for your part in making this happen! )Some of you may remember this post, in which I described the frustration of discovering that a clerical error had cost my mom her chance to go back to school for her bachelor’s degree. Leaving for school and realizing that my mother would not be able to get her degree felt a lot like survivor’s guilt. I was the only one on a clear path out of poverty. She threw her support behind me, and I did the only thing I could do: studied hard to make it up to her.Now, years later, a stubborn daughter, a website, a loan and a very generous group of donors have changed the tide. My mother is going back to s … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 21

by MillipedeThat summer was a mixture of hope, stress and worry.After the first post seizure drinking episodes, my husband admitted that he needed to watch what he drank. He downplayed the symptoms, but even he had to admit that he never used to nod off when he drank. Also the paramedics, the emergency room doctors and finally the neurologist; all of them had pointed to alcohol consumption as a trigger for his seizure. As usual my husband minimized the problem quick to point out that there were other things that could trigger a seizure, but he did say would make some changes concerning how and what he would drink.They say a fire burns brightest right before it extinguishes … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: What is Quiverfull?

 By VyckieQ: What is “Quiverfull?”“Quiverfull” is a convenient, though I believe, somewhat unfortunate term which we’re using at No Longer Quivering to describe a family lifestyle which is growing in popularity among evangelical Christians ~ particularly those who home educate their children.Quiverfull ~ is the idea that truly godly families will “trust the Lord” with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings (“As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of ones youth, happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them”) and as such, the couple is willing to have as many children as the Lord chooses to bless them with. Artificia … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 20

by Millipede"Little Bit" "Little Bit" a voice cut through my phone conversation. I told my friend that I would call her back and hung up the phone.I had relished being absolutely lazy on Sunday mornings; sleeping in and than taking it easy. My friend had called just after I had gotten out of the shower and I hadn't had time to really talk to my husband. What,I wondered, could be wrong?I found him trying to put a leash on our pet Rottweiler. She was jumping about, making it difficult to get the leash hooked up. That was business as usual, what caught my attention was the tone of my husband's voice. It sounded like he was drunk! Again, he hollered at Little Bit and this time I … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: Are Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar “Quiverfull”?

by HopewellQ: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular mother … [Read more...]