An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 16

by MillipedeMy story continued.......We were free from the world of Patriarchal religion. On a personal level, I began to blossom. I was working outside the home, not only paying the bills, but able to save a little money here and there. Gradually, the trappings of the Patriarchal movement fell away. I stopped wearing the Prairie wear, in fact I stopped wearing dresses and skirts altogether. I started listening to Rock music and even started listening to Heavy Metal again.My husband was headed down another path. He was adrift, like a rudderless ship he had no direction. We had a few Sundays where we did some Scripture readings in an attempt to have a "home Church" but they … [Read more...]

The Hangover – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluIt seems in spite of our attempts to be completely free of what we've suffered at our old church there are some issues that linger, things we need to deal with. Some of those things involve the relationship between my husband and myself. Hangovers.First allow me to say this is not one disgruntled woman bitching about her significant other, rather this me talking about the day to day in dealing with a false belief my husband still harbors from our days as fundigelicals. There are many wonderful qualities my spouse possesses I am grateful for every day. He's kind to others, he's smart, he's educated, he's outgoing in contrast to my quieter self. I once watched him sit outside … [Read more...]

The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Safe Now

by SierraPrincesses do NOT eat turkey legs.A month after my acceptance, I was moving onto campus for my first autumn semester at Rowling College.* Most of my community college credits had transferred, leaving me a semester ahead of that year’s incoming freshmen. The same summer, my mother and I had finally filled out the paperwork to get me a diploma from a Pennsylvania homeschooling agency. I was deeply self-conscious about the 2005 stamp on my diploma; it was an emblem of what I perceived as failure, as my other homeschooled friends liked to boast about graduating early, and I was a year late. I also desperately wanted to be part of a group of people my age, for once, s … [Read more...]

Why Quiverfull Moms Do Not and Cannot Love Their Bodies

This is a repost from 2009. An excellent piece written by Vyckie  that talks about how many QF moms think about their bodies after years of birthing. Worth revisiting now. Thanks Tapati for the reminder of what a powerful piece this is.by VyckieI beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)For the past week and a half, NLQ has been presenting the excellent material in Tapati’s Body Image Workshop.  As I’ve read through the posts and all the related comments on the NLQ forum, I’ve been thinking about how the Body Image issue is incredibly r … [Read more...]

Review: Pixar’s Brave is Braver Than it Looks

by SierraPixar’s Brave is every fairy tale and none of them. It’s every trope and none of them. It’s filled with lovable scamps, bumbling eccentrics, defiant courage, enchanted landscapes, stifling expectations and unintended consequences. And it’s filled with beautiful brogue and wayward redheads.I’m going to talk my way through this movie. It’s currently 10:30pm. I left the movie theater 30 minutes ago, oddly silent as I tried to figure out what the message was that I got from that film. What follows is my first attempt to process the story, and to figure out whether or not it follows in the footsteps of Tangled, the cinematic anthem for ex-fundamentalist daughters.My re … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 10

by MillipedeIn face of these events, I found work. Once I overcame my husband's reluctance to enter the workforce, he seemed to accept the situation. He drove me to pick up applications. He still held to his Patriarchal beliefs, but in light of our situation, he got over issue of my returning to the workplace.Things went smoothly for a couple of months and then came the phone call. My sister in law who lived at our previous residence called. She had received a notice for my husband to appear in civil court. It was an old medical bill from years back. This wasn't exactly a novel experience. In the last year that my husband was working, we had almost been sued over a smaller bill. … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 8

by MillipedeThe next couple of years were what I would call the "golden years" of Patriarchy. By this I mean that we were living the Patriarchal dream, with the husband "leading" and providing and the wife keeping the home and being submissive. It was the apex of our journey; we were finally living the lifestyle.As i wrote earlier it was during this time that I experienced the joys of having the time to pursue varied interests. My husband drove overland the first year or so and then the latter part, he had a regional route. This meant that he was gone for weeks at a time when he was going across country. Later, with a regional route, he was home every weekend. In retrospect, I think … [Read more...]

Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]


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