Millipede: Part 5

headless

by Millipede   Peevish men, wives who watched every word and worse they really embraced the submission beliefs. The wives would gripe very rarely about their husbands and the work and if they did they were sure to say that they weren't in disagreement with the system, ,merely letting off a little steam. The women were just as much true believers. This isn't as I first thought/hoped in that Patriarchy can be a humane system for women. Instead I realized that there will always be those who for varying reasons, become ardent followers of movements which harm them. There are women who will accept or even come to love degradation if it comes approval and "love". Look at people in … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 4

control

by Millipede Although the "dress code" was the most glaring example of our changing mindset.There were other changes which were just as bad if not worse in the long run. My husband started to implement "order in the home". Although not as extreme as the other men, he considered himself the head of the household. Sure, I could argue, but if he stuck to his guns on something, I was expected to follow. I could be stubborn, but there were plenty of things that I gave way. Dressing in skirts out in public wasn't the only one. Staying at home, I let him control the finances. Sure, I could give advice, nag and so on, but in the end, he decided all things. A lot of things happened that in … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 3

modesty

by Millipede My story continued... Things were exciting in the beginning. What married woman wouldn't be happy that her husband was "getting religion". With fidelity, love, hard work and a host of other laudable virtues to be practiced by a believer it was a dream come true. It was at that time, even in the early days before the new church group began that I noticed things. Back then as the patriot activities waned and our religious interest was catching fire, distance kept us from attending home church with our new circle of friends. So we did the next best thing which was attend church locally. Even if we didn't agree with all of the doctrine, we still enjoyed the … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 2

anger

by Calulu When we last left off Tom was in love with another woman and defiant to criticism. Says he has a right to be happy, he feels no sorrow for the affair and he's not going to stop. God approves, according to Tom even though the Bible clearly states otherwise. I responded by doing the bad thing, doing what any good fundigelical pearl clutcher feels obligated to do, I go to our mutual Pastor. Now Pastor already knows and says he is going to 'deal' with the feckless frolicking fornicators. He goes to both to confront them and gets mixed responses, Alice still swears there was no actual sex going on and tells the Pastor this is no ones business. Tom tells Pastor pretty much the same … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 1

by Calulu This is a new series that I'm starting. I actually started writing about my history with the one person that impacted me the most during my days at the old church. I'm flip, I'm sarcastic in this series but mostly I am processing what happened to me because it seems like a plot straight out of the recently cancelled series GCB (Good Christian Bitches). After telling my therapist years ago about this man I was encouraged to write it all down. I did and if I didn't laugh and poke fun I'd be crying right now. It was the most corrosive relationship I've ever been in and I didn't even have the common sense to run from it. I've changed names and some small details because until … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 7: Charting a New Course

by Permission to Live This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction. It had been a year since my spouse had come out to me. It felt like it had been much longer. So much had changed and yet nothing had changed. We still hadn’t decided how Christianity tied in with our changing reality: I was leaning further and further away from the idea of God but my spouse still believed. We felt like there were no real answers anymore. Life was not as black and white as people wanted it to be. My spouse was talking more and more about transitioning and I felt like there was no one-size-fits-all in gender identity. Maybe my spouse would become … [Read more...]

Where’s your shame, woman?!

Popular conservative Christian pastor says "America is over" because shameless women who have sex and vote are running wild and screwing everything up. by Vyckie Garrison Ever wonder what goes on inside the small minds of fundamentalist Christian men? Want to know how they justify their blatant anti-woman policies and practices? Are they for real? Do they even know how hateful and intolerably ignorant they sound? Thanks to Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, a conservative black pastor and up-and-coming Republican leader, there's now a YouTube video which perfectly sums up the Religious Right's core beliefs about women. "One thing I know for sure, without a doubt, women cannot handle … [Read more...]

Forming Boundaries Late in Life

by Latebloomer Do any of these sound like you? I have to always say yes to others, or else I am selfish. I have to always hide my hurt, or else I am unloving. I have to treat other people as faultless, or else I am holding a grudge. I have to keep my wants and needs to myself, or else I am a burden to others. People who experienced authoritarian parents tend to turn into adults with poor boundaries. They were trained for it their whole lives and can't imagine another way of doing things. However, it's an extremely unsatisfying and unsustainable way to live, don't you think? But most importantly, it's actually not what a loving person is like! For me, when I was in that mindset, … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 2a

by Incongruous Circumspection Make sure to familiarize yourself with the first Basic Need of a Husband, according to Bill Gothard - A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive. You can read my response to this nonsense here: Introduction Part 1a Part 1b: Women? Goals? Who are YOU Kidding?! Part 1c: Men are Fragile and Women are Manipulative Fools Part 1d: Husbands are Omniscient and Wives Must Give Sex Now, let's move on to the next Basic Need of a Husband. [#2. A man needs a wife who honors his leadership.] In my opinion, Bill is padding the numbers to get to God's "perfect number" of seven. Honoring the husband's leadership is only slightly different than the first … [Read more...]

Answering the Quiverfull Party Line #1: If We’re Not Trusting God, We Are Playing God

As a counter-cultural movement, the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle are frequently subject to substantial criticism from outsiders (friends, neighbors, random strangers in grocery store check-out lines) - and, given the life-altering ramifications of embracing the Quiverfull ideal, even the firmly-convinced often ask tough questions with respect to the practicality and wisdom of "trusting the Lord with our family planning."  "Answering the Quiverfull Party Line" examines  the Quiverfull apologia. by Barbie Getzreal The Quiverfull Party Line: If We're Not Trusting God, We Are Playing God Are We Pro-Choice or Pro-Life? Most Christians would answer Pro-Life. By this they … [Read more...]


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