Millipede Part 27

by MillipedeWhen I got to my sister's place, she called her neighbor's son. We ended up going out to see the trailer that day. It was a pleasant day for traveling; warm and sunny. It matched my mood perfectly. I was floating along that day, nothing could get me down. The early fall colors were beautiful and made for a great drive.The trailer was in decent condition. There was some work that needed to be done. It was full of the previous occupants' belongings and one whole side was missing the metal siding. I imagine that it was stolen for scrap, however that was small fry. Overall, it was in good and solid shape. Better yet, the neighbor's son wanted only a small finder's fee for … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts Through Spanking

by LatebloomerThis is part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abusive habits.  Now here is my third criticism.Criticism #3: … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 26

by MillipedeI stood there looking at my ex turned "roommate".  By either title, I would be stuck with his problems. Winter and all it's problems loomed ahead. For some reason, I thought of the book,The Shinning. The description of Danny's thoughts as he realizes that the hotel is haunted and that he and his family will be stuck there all Winter. In vain, he hopes that the evil that resides in the hotel will leave him alone, but deep down he knows better.Here I was facing, the same dilemma; should I do something or should I try to stay and hope for the best. Moving out on such a short notice, how could I even manage it. Short of moving in with my sister and her husband, sharing a … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #2: An Extremely Controlling Parent

by LatebloomerTo briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  Now here is my second criticism.Criticism #2:   Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child's mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood.  Reb Bradley is very straightforward about what he considers the primary task of a parent.  Several times throughout the book, he reminds parents that their goal is to subdue their child's will: "keep your objective in mind - subjection of the … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 25

by MillipedeThings settled down. My ex took the breakup in stride. We both talked about remaining friends. Now that I didn't have to be his caretaker/servant/mom (what a strange combo) I felt better. No longer was dread a daily companion, I was free from all of that.We both did the "let's stay friends" bit. It seemed like that it might work. My ex seemed to have adapted wonderfully to the fact that we were splitting up. He even looked at options whereby he would move out so as to save me the trouble of moving. Things didn't work out, but at least he was being considerate. We got along better, now that the tension was down. I was ready to take my time, save my money for the … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting: Introduction

by LatebloomerEvery once in a while, I realize something shockingly obvious, something that confronts yet another false assumption that has managed to cling to my mind even as I've moved further and further away from my fundamentalist Christian roots.In the whole Bible, there is not a single verse that credits parents for having raised a good child.  Nothing from God, nothing from any adult sons or daughters in the Bible.  Not one word of thanks, not one word of credit.It would be easy to insert a few parental credit verses into the Bible.  Maybe we could add a little phrase here or there in the Old Testament, such as "King David, because of his godly parents," or "Moses, thanks t … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 24 – The Breakup

by MillipedeThe next day I got up. As I showered and got dressed I thought of the previous night's events. I was tired, a bit worried, but mostly resolved. I was going to have a final talk with my husband; lay the cards on the table concerning our future.The discussion started as others had before with me sharing my concerns about my husband's drinking. Of course, my husband denied that he had a problem and our argument followed the trail. It was clear to me as we argued, that my husband was in his usual denial mode and I knew what that meant for the future. I couldn't not live under that sort of stress. It was time to act.I told my husband that if this was how he felt about the … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: Does Patriarchy Glorify God?

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer  Q: As a Quiverfull couple, we practice headship and submission to strengthen our marriage and bring glory to God.  But you are saying that Patriarchy hurts the husband and belittles God.  Please explain.What does “glorify” mean when we’re talking about God?  A simple definition can be found in what we commonly mean when we say a person is “seeking glory.”  It means that person wants the credit for good things that have happened, and to be honored for those things.  To glorify God is to seek glory not for ourselves, but for God– to act in ways that point to God, that give God the credit for good things in our lives and the honor that comes from t … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 23

by MillipedeThe moment of truth came one Saturday night. No surprises there. Of course, my husband had decided to have something to drink. I abstained of course, someone would have to be ready to call 911. Even though the any possible seizure would not occur until the following day, a 400+ pound man could get into a lot of trouble if he fell of his chair during a nodding phase. Plus, who knows, this time the seizure might come earlier.Things were going well as expected. The slurring had started just a bit and my husband nodded off only once. off had. My husband mixed another drink which he said would be his last of the night.I watched with relief as he finished the cup. We had … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]