Parenting & the Super Religious

sickchild

by CaluluLatebloomer from the NLQ Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network has written an excellent series right now based upon reviewing the parenting advice in Reb Bradley's book 'Child Training Tips'  She's done an outstanding job on this topic and I have to admit it triggers me just a bit. Triggers some of my experiences back in the old church.During my years in Fundamentalism Evangelicalism I never encountered Reb Bradley's book. The one that was pushed upon me constantly was Michael and Debi Pearl's "To Train Up A Child". I read through it once, horror-struck by the suggestions in the book, finding it ridiculously harsh and thinking that raising your children like little obeying … [Read more...]

What Do Quiverfull Christians Believe About Birth Control?

by Vyckie GarrisonHere you go; all the teachings from Jan & Rick Hess, Nancy Campbell, Mary Pride, Bill Gothard, Charles Provan, Jonathan Lindvall, S.M. Davis, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Voddie Baucham, R.C. Sproul Jr., Doug & Beall Phillips, Sherry Hayes, Chris & Wendy Jeub, Steve & Teri Maxwell, Jennie Chancey, Stacey McDonald, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar, ... all conveniently summarized in one YouTube video, You Deserve to Know the Truth: Contraception by The Children of Mary ...Women who use contraceptives cause men to be gay ... ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶Comments open belowRead everything by Vyckie!Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “es … [Read more...]

Toddlerhood: Part 2

by Mari ChristmasMom’s family had a big ol’ family reunion at Christmas that year. My great-grandma turned 80 two days before Christmas and my family threw a big party. Everybody showed up.I don’t know a lot about this party, but from memories I’ve pieced together, I get the impression that we had a little variety show in honor of Grandma’s birthday. I remember my mom’s cousin doing a little ventriloquism act, and the whole family stood up front and sang “How Great Thou Art.” (I found both creepy. I don’t remember a lot from my very young years that wasn’t scary.)We tried to get pictures of each family posing with Great-grandma that year.The picture my mom gave me from this end … [Read more...]

Mama’s Choice – Part 4: Buying It Wholesale

follow-the-money

by Vyckie GarrisonShortly after recognizing the spiritually abusive nature of the Quiverfull movement, I wrote:I’ve had a sick feeling in my stomach lately.  It’s the feeling that comes along with a growing realization that the Quiverfull worldview and lifestyle which I felt that I had carefully considered and thoughtfully adopted is, in actuality, a product called “biblical family values” which is being aggressively marketed as an investment to safeguard our loved ones from becoming collateral damage in today’s war against the family. …Seems that I should have been immune to the marketing strategies of those who ruthlessly engender fear and dissatisfaction so they can offer their … [Read more...]

Mama’s Choice – Part 3: Ultimatum

It's a child not a choice

by Vyckie GarrisonWhile we're on the topic of Choice - although I've written about this before, I must say it again: what choices do devoted Christian women really have?"If He is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all.""What is most important?" Nancy Campbell asks Christian women.  "When we refuse to have children, we deprive God, Eternity, our husbands, ourselves, grandparents, our children, the Church, and the World." In this view, no woman can legitimately claim to love the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength, if she withholds her womb from His service. (God's Visions for Families: What the Bible Says About Having Children by Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies, 1995 - … [Read more...]

The (Polished) Lives of Others

by Broken DaughtersI remember dreaming about life the way I had seen it in those P/QF books and magazines and occasional home making blogs. It’s funny because it was never that way at our house. But I always thought that one day, I would live one of those beautiful lives.I’d have a pantry filled with homemade juices and marmalade and sauces and relishes. I’d have a beautiful, antique and yet modern kitchen. I’d have a great view from my kitchen windows, and I’d wear a beautiful apron. I’d be… hm. One of those fairytale housewives, I guess.My life would be quiet, relaxed. I’d be busy decorating a beautiful home, not really worrying about money and how to get by. My husband would be … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #4: A Parent Who Isolates in Order to Control

by LatebloomerThis is part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here. Read criticism #3 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abusive habits.  My third criticism look … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts Through Spanking

by LatebloomerThis is part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abusive habits.  Now here is my third criticism.Criticism #3: … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #2: An Extremely Controlling Parent

by LatebloomerTo briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  Now here is my second criticism.Criticism #2:   Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child's mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood.  Reb Bradley is very straightforward about what he considers the primary task of a parent.  Several times throughout the book, he reminds parents that their goal is to subdue their child's will: "keep your objective in mind - subjection of the … [Read more...]

Before There Was Me: Part 2

by MariBefore we go any further in my story, we must introduce the church.My parents attended a church called Meadow Ridge Bible Chapel (henceforth known as “chapel”) in West Fargo, North Dakota. I’m not familiar with the history of this church, nor with which (if any) denomination the church is affiliated.By the time I came along, chapel was located in a very nice building in West Fargo. When you arrived, you would walk into a lobby area that had restrooms and a coat room. Then you would walk through beautiful double doors into the chapel area. The chapel was square with a bookstore and a nursing moms’ room in the back. Also along the back wall was a bookcase with stacks of hymna … [Read more...]


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