Atlantic Wire:’19 Kids and Counting’ Gets Stranger, Sadder

General public not impressed by Duggar family "witness" httpv:// by Vyckie Garrison During my Quiverfull days, I honestly believed that Michelle Duggar's TLC show - which began as "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" and is currently titled, "19 Kids & Counting" - was an awesome witness to "the world." I was in awe of the Duggar family, and it thrilled me that such a wholesome, godly family was given a national stage on which to exemplify for America what a truly biblical family looks like.I'm sure every detail of the Duggars' television show, numerous talk show interviews and guest appearances at political rallies is calculated to paint their … [Read more...]

How the Modesty Doctrine Hurts Men, Too

by SierraI’ve written a few times about how the modesty doctrine hurts women. Now it’s time to switch lenses. The modesty doctrine also wreaks havoc on the minds of young men in the Christian patriarchy movement. Here’s how:It teaches men to be afraid of women because their sexual power is too great to be resisted. It teaches men to despise women and hampers their relationships. It teaches men to be afraid of their own bodies. It teaches men to control and criticize women in order to protect themselves. It teaches men to be paranoid about their sexual orientation. It teaches gay men that they don’t exist.(There are probably more consequences of which I’m not aware, so m … [Read more...]

The Myth of the Weaker Vessel

by Eric PazdzioraIn response to a popular pastor’s perplexing pronouncement that “God has given Christianity a masculine feel,” Rachel Held Evans asked Christian men to write a blog post “that celebrates the importance of women in the Church.” Here’s mine.Lately, both from online creepers and respectable preachers, I’ve seen several comments that come back to one idea: Of course we give lip service to the idea that women are equal to men, but actually they’re inferior, because the Bible says that a woman is a “weaker vessel.” Here’s a composite portrait, based very closely on wording I’ve seen in various places:There is a difference between men and women, regardless of what you wo … [Read more...]

Young patriarch tells it like it is: Woman indeed is the weaker vessel; Sodomites hate God, and infiltrate churches to spit in God’s face … Am I controlling for keeping my woman away from these evil men? Then so be it.

(Trigger warning: patronizing, misogyny, homophobia...)Last night, a patriarch-in-training named "Matt" spent a lot of time reading and commenting on the NLQ FAQ: What Is Quiverfull?It's possible that Matt is a troll and his comments should be ignored or deleted - but his arguments are not at all unlike the "biblical" beliefs which I heard taught/preached regularly during my Quiverfull days. I am assuming Matt is a young man based on his immaturity and know-it-all attitude - of course, given that patriarchs rarely grow up, it's possible that he is an old man - maybe he's the pastor of an IFB church.So, without further ado - here's Matt: I take it from your post that you are … [Read more...]

Bring Me The Flaming Head Of Barbie! – Adventures In Recovery

by CaluluA few weeks ago I was witnessing internet wide that one thing is certain. Just about everyone has a strong reaction to the news that Michelle Duggar is enceinte again. Of course I snicked like the sarcastic wise-cracking gal I am and some of us tossed around those hoary old chestnuts we always say when discussing Duggar child bearing. “It's a vagina not a clown car” and “Looks like Jim Bob tossed the hotdog down the well again”In most of the online discussion of how dangerous her playing maternal Russian roulette actually is no one seemed to hit upon my first thought, how quickly would Jim Bob replace her with a newer, younger, prettier model.I mean, really, it's like sho … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Admissions

by Sierra“When I was your age, my parents wouldn't send me to college,” my mother was telling me. “I had to work my way through on my own. I don't want you to have to stop. I will do everything I can to help you keep going to school. Your education is the most important thing to me.”We stood in the kitchen, a printed letter lying on the counter between us. It was not good news.I glanced up at my mother with a strained smile. I knew that if wishes could be cashed at the bank, I'd be writing my admissions essay to an ivy-coated castle. Instead, I was trying to find a way to pay the bill from my last semester of community college in time to register for fall classes. It was already A … [Read more...]

How Modesty Made Me Fat

by SierraThis isn’t a story about how modest clothes allowed me to “let myself go” and conceal a growing figure. It’s not even a story about how wearing modest clothes kept my self-esteem at rock bottom and thrust me into a too-close relationship with Ben & Jerry. It’s a story about how modesty doctrines impacted my mind, in ways that had real, negative effects on my body. Modesty was one of the reasons my defining relationship with my body became whether or not I was “fat.” Modesty was one of the engines that pushed me into a full-blown eating disorder. It’s not just a dress code: it’s a philosophy, and it’s one that destroys young women, mentally and physically.Modesty taught me … [Read more...]

Me? Obey Him?

A review of "Me? Obey Him?" by Elizabeth Rice Handford. Trigger warning for former Quiverfull believers who actually read this book and tried to live according to the principles ... this post is a disturbing trip down memory Vyckie GarrisonThose fortunate enough to have never actually read "Me? Obey Him?" may be shocked and appalled by the teachings in support of "biblical patriarchy."  This review is simply quotations of Handford's own words (in italics), followed by comments from my personal experience as a former Quiverfull Believer.God's Perfect Creation Required OrderJesus, the Creator of Heaven and earth, submitted Himself to God the Father.  He took His place in … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: The Bible & Accountability in Marriage – Part 2: The Marriage Covenant & Covenant Breaking

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka:KR WordgazerPart 1 of this FAQ addressed ideas for helping your marriage when following the teachings of Quiverfull does not work as you had understood it was supposed to. But the Bible does not teach that being a Christian is a formula, or that your actions will guarantee the response of someone else. Each person has his or her own choices to make, and ultimately, they are that person’s choices alone. You cannot force your husband to do the right thing, and this brings us to the very difficult question asked at the end of Part 1:But what if my husband is completely unrepentant and refuses to change behaviors that, if I am honest with myself, I must admit a … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: The Bible & Accountability in Marriage – Part 1: Bringing Real Change to Your Relationship

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka:KR Wordgazer I have done my best to be a submissive and supportive 'helpmeet' to my husband in every way possible, but though I hardly want to admit it, it doesn't seem to be working the way I thought it would. Sometimes I feel torn between being a good wife and protecting my children from potential damage from a lack of Christian character in their father. You are saying Quiverfull teachings could be making matters worse. How, and why? And what can I do to help make things better?If you have read the FAQ entitled “The Bible and the Nature of Woman,” you may remember that the words translated as “help meet” in the KJV are the two Hebrew words “ezer,” meaning “str … [Read more...]